As good as it gets .

[Buster70]

My dog walks are a bit of s push me pull me affair , one dog is three one is thirteen their names are oi come on and oi slow down , or so you’d think , trudging through mud and the wind in your face picking up dog muck it’s just bliss and with anxiety crushing the breath out of me you could ask are you mad but then I know the answer to that question , even before the anxiety I do remember mates saying” you’re not right in the head “ I must admit some of my great drunken ideas were not very safe or legal .
Today was another tough one , partner is in constant pain 24/7 the doc thinks her knee may be infected arthritis so she may have to go into hospital for intravenous antibiotics.
Did the school run today , told the kids we could go to school or carry on to the sea side instead , they were up for it and bitterly disappointed when we didn’t , forgot to give granddaughter her money so had to go back into school , went to the wrong class whooops not good these days school are like fortresses , picked up lado after nursery and took him to the park , how we laughed as I left him stuck in swing and said I was going home without him then got him out and chased him round being a zombie , he needs to learn how to deal with zombies just incase , nipped off and did a deal with chap to make some money , then back to school for the last pick up . All done while in terrible pain from tension and all done while super duper anxious fearing I may drop dead for reasons unknown .
Couldnt relax this evening so I took the dog ( just the young un) out for a walk round the dark streets , my biggest fear by then wasn’t dropping dead or being stabbed by a gang of youngsters or even being mugged , my fear was that I might be arrested by the fashion police or sectioned for what I was wearing , muddy boots , bright tartan pj bottoms , lumberjack shirt and hat , in the headlights I may have looked a tad odd but I’m big enough and ugly enough to not care and the dog didn’t seem to mind although she did walk well infront .
those words “ you’re not right in the head “ do seem to echo echo through my life .
Take care .

[Pkstracy]

Slips you hugs, I too, had hit myh lowest point, I tried to kill myself two weeks ago, thus why I haven't been around....I am so so sorry you are dealing with all of what you are going through, I wish I had words or something to help you or that ladder. I am slowly healing and finding enjoyment in things, it's a long hard road, I know you can do this.

[Buster70]

Slips you hugs, I too, had hit myh lowest point, I tried to kill myself two weeks ago, thus why I haven't been around....I am so so sorry you are dealing with all of what you are going through, I wish I had words or something to help you or that ladder. I am slowly healing and finding enjoyment in things, it's a long hard road, I know you can do this.

Tracey , I don’t think either of us want to die it’s just so hard living at times when every waking moment is a struggle , I try to find a glimmer of light each day in the dark times to keep me getting up and out , and I do try to find something to laugh at each day , today it was my dog digging a hole in a muddy puddle with her face while i chatted to another dog walker , she went in white and came out brown , she doesn’t like me talking to people , every now and then she looks at me as if to say “ look what you’ve made me do “ she didn’t like me dragging her in a brook and washing it all off either the little shite .
Hugs to you too and hang in there , I’ve heard good times are coming soon .

[Pkstracy]

Awww Buster, that would have been a sight to see, yeah she doesn't want her daddy talking to others, my husband's and my dog is the same way, she is daddy's girl and yes I do believe good times are coming, my cat saved my life, I took a bunch of pills and was about to take more and he knocked them out of my hand and kept meowing until my husband came to see what was going on.

[Carnation]

Pkstracy, I just had to post something.
Firstly, I am so sorry you came to a point where you were in this position and I am so relieved that you didn't follow it through.
I can also empathise with how you came to this point. Cats are special and what your cat did for you must tell you now that it was not the right thing to do.
There is always someone to turn to in your darkest moments, please remember that. x

Buster, the last sentence applies to you too. x

take care both of you xx
,

[Pkstracy]

Carnation thank you, I just got so tired, and am still tired, I am back on my meds and going to therapy, sorry did not mean to hijack this thread, perhaps I'll post a thread one day about what happened. hugs to you both.

[KK77]

Carnation thank you, I just got so tired, and am still tired, I am back on my meds and going to therapy, sorry did not mean to hijack this thread, perhaps I'll post a thread one day about what happened. hugs to you both.

So sorry to hear what you've been through, Pkstracy, and if you do decide to start a thread about what happened, we will always listen and support you

[KK77]

is that vulva the estate version or hatchback ? Pretty sure nothing should be glued underneath.

No, that's a Vulvo, Mr B

[Buster70]

Tracey you are more than welcome to post on this thread if you are going through a bad time or even better if you are having a good day ,they do happen , I can’t emphasise enough how bad an idea taking too many pills is , I’ve see the after effects several times nearly losing my daughter and partner to overdoses , that said I do understand that sometimes it feels the only way to stop the hurting .
As Kk said there are many good people on here that will have been through the same and will be willing to listen and support you , they have helped me through some very dark times ( like the great power cut of winter 2017 )
KK , You say vulvo I say potahto, potato tomahto, let’s call the whole thing off
Today I had a confrontation in a car park , my piece of German crap van ( Hitlers last laugh ) broke down yet again at TK max , being resourceful I jammed a screw driver into the starter solenoid a few sparks and it fired up , slammed the bonnet quickly jumped in and the wind blew my door which just nudged the next cars wing mirror , I get oi from an angry man stood at the back of his car , I go “sorry “ but he’s fuming and checking his mirror like it’s been hit by a truck , he then makes point of walking in front of my van to give me a glare as I’m pulling out , I stare back and think what an arse ( that’s not to say he had a cute bum ) anyway everyone seems to be so angry these days , ok my sorry probably didn’t sound very sincere because I wasn’t that sorry , I’ve had a shite week , month , year , decade , and no sleep last night , I’m not sure Mr angry knew how close he was to disappearing under my van , man verses van .
Anyway got to go need to go turn my bike around .
Take care .

[Pkstracy]

okay guys so if you go to Misc thread, and look for My Story, I posted about my past, what I deal with and what drove me to do what I did. Bust I am sorry that you are dealing with all you deal with you are a strong person as well. I wish there was something I could do to make it better for you. Hugs my friend.