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  1. #21
    Join Date
    Feb 2016
    Posts
    1,689

    Re: As good as it gets .

    Thanks carnation, the way that dog looks at me when she puts her head on my knee I know i can't give her up even if she is the problem and stress seems to follow me around like the puppy she was , I do like others on here feel sick and tired of searching for the answers.
    I'd swap the rest of my life for a year feeling the way I did last night happy with the kids .
    If you guys had the choice of living ten years without anxiety / depression or twenty with it which would you take ? Death is a big fear of mine but living with anxiety is not so much living but just existing, I'd go with the ten without .
    I'm definitely not happy with this being as good as it gets .

  2. #22
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    , , United Kingdom.
    Posts
    1,154

    Re: As good as it gets .

    Buster mate, never think you don't deserve those kids. They take you and love you exactly as you are, anxiety, asthma the lot.

    Could your asthma be anxiety related? I really wouldn't put anything past anxiety, I've developed nausea this year as a new anxiety symptom. Completely out of nowhere. I think our bodies learn symptoms. Your asthma is I think genuine but the anxiety possibly latches on to it. Just my take.
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  3. #23
    Join Date
    Feb 2016
    Posts
    1,689

    Re: As good as it gets .

    Fish that's the million dollar question , I really have no idea, first the doc said take load more steroid inhalers that gave me thrush and a thrust infection then they said post nasal drip then reflux, then they just looked at me like I was mental so I stopped going , Ive tried stopping and starting everything but there are two constants I can't stop , stress and the dog , no getting away from those .
    Now here's my new storey from the wonderful world of Buster , Friday my partner had a new social worker come to see her for the first time , she went through al the history and notes from her predecessor, turns out she has been saying she suspects I beat her and her suicide attempts were cry's for help to get away from the abuse , I have never hit her ever , funny that they don't bloody help her but they can come to these assumptions, Partner has always bruised like a peach and having kids and three dogs she very rarely doesn't have a bruise somwhere she's also pretty clumsy , one record said she had bruises on her shinns possibly from being kicked what they were actually from was leaning on the rungs of a step ladder while painting , also funny that they wouldn't consider if I were being abused not all abuse leaves bruises . So I'm expecting the BBC's helicopter and cops around my house pretty soon , maybe a break in prison would do me good .
    Right got to go my bladder is fit for bursting

  4. #24
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Posts
    6,736

    Re: As good as it gets .

    What???!!!!???? Oh Buster, what a friggin fast!
    Basically I see it like this. It's up to your partner to put them right!

  5. #25
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    , , United Kingdom.
    Posts
    1,154

    Re: As good as it gets .

    Agree with Carnation Buster, your partner needs to stamp those nasty rumours out fast. It just takes a bit of gossip, mud sticking and all that. You really do deserve better from those professionals.
    __________________
    'It was a wedding ring, destined to be found in a cheap hotel, lost in a kitchen sink, or thrown in a wishing well' - Marillion, Clutching at Straws, 1987

  6. #26
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    4,757

    Re: As good as it gets .

    OMG Buster, how did they manage to jump to that conclusion.

    And you are totally correct not all abuse is physical.

    I hope that your partner gets this sorted out quickly for you.
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  7. #27
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
    Posts
    9,680

    Re: As good as it gets .

    So the previous social worker suspected abuse but didn't do anything other than record it in her notes? Your partner didn't put the new social worker right on this straightaway? These are serious charges which are being recorded on your partner's notes with no medical evidence at all or formal follow-up.

  8. #28
    Join Date
    Feb 2016
    Posts
    1,689

    Re: As good as it gets .

    Hi all , partner did tell her social worker no abuse was happening she also told the old one the same and she's had the same questions at the hospital before , none of these people have ever met me , they see bruises and jump to one conclusion, if they see her this week they will say the same as she walked into a concrete planter and has badly bruised her leg , the bloody thing has been there 15 years , it's not an easy time to be a man we are judged as guilty without trial because some shites do wrong .
    Been really struggling the last few days , waking up full of adrenaline and pretty much staying like it all day , it's like dragging a big anchor round with you totally exhausting and the nights are no better ,nightmares and broken sleep ,I'm so tensed up all day I'm constantly in pain . if I'd know what this anxiety malarkey was like I don't think I'd have signed up to it , still could be worse ,,,, maybe not .
    Do we get time off at Christmas? I could really do with a break .
    Oh and the bloody cold is killing me literally.
    Moan over

  9. #29
    Join Date
    Mar 2014
    Posts
    24,070

    Re: As good as it gets .

    Buster, that must be horrible to have heard! Both of you stand firm on this, there are some bloody awful social workers in the UK that need the sack (some should be in jail too) as we see from the years of things they got away with. Some have even been proved to have lied to get a case into Family Court and yet they don't get stuck in jail for contempt and perverting the course of justice like we would...I strongly suspect local authorities have a lot of skeletons they don't want coming out.

    I guess they have to record anything they are concerned about because of the cases where they don't and something does happen but in the case of the innocent this must be an awful accusation. Many abused partners cover up & lie so I can understand that but there seems to be so much in social work where they either don't bother or go steaming in when they shouldn't hence why so many people are wary of them. I'm not sure how you tackle this with them and I hope what I've just said isn't seen as me agreeing with them because I don't, it's a serious accusation as pulisa says and every time they hand over to a new one they are going to have a false impression.

    I hope it is sorted out, that alone is a big stressor on mental health. It's happened to a few others on here due to poor social workers (more than one guy with OCD considered a risk to his children due to their ignorance of OCD and a woman assumed a risk just because of previous self harm (I think) and I was disgusted with all the cases).
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  10. #30
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
    Posts
    9,680

    Re: As good as it gets .

    Put the record straight once and for all and talk to the social worker when she next visits your partner? If she has suspicions she should have asked to talk to you anyway to get your side on things. You can't have these accusations being recorded on her notes with no proof or resolution of the matter. No one has even met you to discuss this.

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