As good as it gets .

[Buster70]

Hi all , I read up a bit myself and the main thing was “ not life threatening “ funny that I have higher blood pressure so I need to lose a bit of weight and less salt etc , she’s been told the opposite more salt and put a bit of weight on , now that I could do standing on my head .
Ive been struggling the last two weeks and I’m worried about the funeral ive said I’ll attend on Tuesday, it’s all taking it’s toll on my mental health so I’ll catch up with you guys when I’m in a better frame of mind .
Thank you for your kind words and support it means a lot to me x
ps going by the media we are now trendsetters not mental cases anymore , every celebrity seems to have mental health problems especially the ones bringing out a book

[pulisa]

That's the trouble, Buster...We are all encouraged to have a mental health issue now-even royalty. Wonder how long Harry had to wait for his therapy...

Can you just attend the funeral and pass on the wake? Or is it the service itself and the people there who you would see? I can understand your anxiety as the day approaches.

[Buster70]

Hi , I did a Stooopid thing a couple of weeks ago and it’s sent my anxiety through the roof , I feel sick and shaky 24/7 , nightmares and can’t sleep etc so as you can imagine the thought of a funeral doesn’t fill me with joy , I could dodge the whole thing but then I’d have to beat myself up for a long time , today was horrendous so tomorrow I’ve got to try and keep busy it’s a late afternoon one , I don’t think I’ll go to the wake but we’ll have to see .
I desperately need a break from me .

[Darksky]

Don't know what you did a couple of weeks back but I hope it's something that will ease off with the passage of time.

If it's too bad, I would certainly dodge the wake. The funeral itself is just 30 minutes. Get yourself in at the back, at the end of the row. Count to 60, 30 times in your head and it will be over. All afternoon 'appointments' are awful. Too much time to chew over it. I like to get up, shoot out in a rush, get it over and back home.

I will I'll be thinking of you tomorrow afternoon Buster

[Carnation]

I was amazed how well I coped at the last 3 funerals I attended.
You don't have to even speak, excuse your behaviour, can leave without excusing yourself, hide your face and be alone, all without explanation.

[Darksky]

Thinking of you Buster

[fishman65]

Hope you managed today Buster, you're certainly going through the grinder mate. I drank at my nephew's funeral in March, cheating I know so all the more credit to you.

[Buster70]

Thanks guys I read these yesterday but haven’t been well since .
So woke up yesterday at 4 am to get a start on worrying, had a proper man headache so couldn’t keep busy as planned but couldn’t sit still either , washed the van , paced around the house , checked my phone 100 times , more pacing , went to see a man about a dog ( another van actually) , back home for more pacing , got showered and dressed , way to early so got changed back again didn’t want to be all creased ( except my birthday suit which is permanently creased) .
At the funeral I didn’t feel too bad , hugs and chat with relatives I hadn’t seen in years , some didn’t recognise me without long hair of the 90s , inside we were ushered to the near front centre my worst nightmare no escape , it freaked me out so much I wanted to jump up and run out but didn’t , the vicar grew up with my cousin so it was a very long service .
Out side I went into my usual joke to hide the anxiety routine , Carnation im not one that can easily hide in a crowd or disappear without people noticing.
I queued up to hug the widow and as soon as she saw me through tears she said “I haven’t forgot what you did at Asda you sod “ earlier in the year I saw them both walking out of Asda she was carrying a large pot plant so I walked up behind her grabbed her shoulder and said “ have you paid for that madam ? “ she spun round clutching a receipt protesting her innocence, then looked at my face and said “you rotten b’stard “ , it made her laugh yesterday on what was probably the worst day of her life , I then did the rounds , told a few people I go to the crematorium a lot lately sometimes to funerals I don’t know just because I like the atmosphere, unaware I was talking may way into the wake , Doh!! , so I drove to the wake at the pub and stayed for an hour having just one drink and catching up with family .
I did the right thing and it’s never as bad as your anxiety will have you believe, I just wish I could fully enjoy being in the company of friends and family.
Today I should feel good but I’ve been given the gift of real illness , up all night with a sore throat and head ache which has now turned into a bad cough, I sound like Barry white with the bass on number 11 .
It would be nice to think things could calm down a bit now although I do have some more apologising to do for the stooopid thang , I have to accept I got it wrong which is hard because as we all know men are never wrong

[fishman65]

Buster, can I say I think you were very brave tackling everything you have this week. And surviving after being down at the front too. I wouldn't have attempted any of that without some kind of artificial backup. Did you have any carpet left after all that pacing? It does indeed show what we can achieve if we put our minds to it. Anxiety will always try to influence every last facet of our lives, sometimes we lose but occasionally we don't. Congrats again mate and well done!!

PS - it's always about a dog that we have to see a man isn't it

PPS - keep sounding like Barry White and you'll have all the ladies at your door

[Carnation]

Sounds like you got the lurgy Buster.
It's that time of year.
I knew you'd get through the funeral day ok, despite how bad your brain was telling you otherwise.
It's time to take time for Buster now.