As good as it gets .

[Carnation]

I agree! It's not a situation you should leave open for possible investigation. Your partner needs to put it straight!

[pulisa]

And you do too!Put a stop to the nonsense and false accusations because you really don't want that crap on top of everything else.

[Buster70]

To be honest I'm past caring , the sequence is usually, partner gets a bruise , she goes to docs or hospital for unrelated issue ( you guys know she's there a lot ) Doc sees it , Doc sees me and thinks he looks a bruiser he must be hitting her , partner denies it and try's to put them straight , social worker sees this and wants to save her from my evil clutches , she denies it again and social worker thinks she's lying because she's scared , no matter what I say they will make up their own version because they can't see what really goes on behind closed doors , I can understand why they have to do it , our alcoholic neighbour regularly gets the crap beaten out of her by her BF and always drops it with the police when he talks her round , he is an evil snide of a man .
It's not my main worry right now so it's more p**sing me off than worrying me , it's not them picking up the pieces when she's in hospital .
So to summarise, F&@k em and the horse they rode in on .
I really must try and find something more cheery to write about given its the season of good will .

[Magic]

I am flabbergasted Buster. Don't be past caring. Needs to be sorted asap.
Total crap. I am lost for words. x

[Buster70]

Been a tough few days ( ok years ) firstly partner has said she's going to ask the social
Worker about removing the suspicions off her record about abuse , I pointed out she wouldn't like untruths on record about her and if anything happened to her I be locked up quick as a flash .
So as I said been feeling rotten 24/7 it seems all this years stress is now taking its toll , this week my daughter's new roof we arranged has sprung not one but two leaks , the roofer came round to see daughter and partner and was his usual cocky arrogant self and tried to brush it off and talk all over them , partner held her own but it really bothered me that I'd let them deal with him ( male pride it's a Killer ) so I sent photos to my roofer cousin and got his opinion , when the cocky roofer came today mob handed with three others I went round guns blazing and had it out with him in front of his workers , he tried to blame everyone and everything except himself but I stuck to my guns and showed him all the faults which were obvious and everytime he made and excuse I said we paid YOU good money and the roof leaks , YOU ! are responsible , it was a full blown outdoor argument which I used to great at , this time my heart was pounding out of my chest and the anxiety was saying run for the hills you coward , but I didn't and ok when I got home I felt physically sick but if I hadn't gone I'd be fishing out the boxing gloves again to beat myself up .
I do wonder is it better to just avoid confrontation and give in to anxiety letting people walk all over you which can cause depression or stand up and do what you think is right no matter how much it hurts , tonight I hurt but my conscience is clear .
Oh and also spent some quality time with my mum today , Ive managed to turn some old 1950s negatives into digital photos , she hadn't seen them since she was a girl and I had only seen two photos of my grandad before so it was nice for both of us although a little
Upsetting seeing the young carfree girl who is now an old woman who I know won't be around much longer , she thanked me for the nice chat and time , I wished we were a more huggy family at times . Life is too short .
Take care all

[Darksky]

With you on the confrontation. I tend to back down because any aggro spikes my anx immediately. Starts in my legs and then it's all downhill. But then, as you say, people walk over you, which I hate. It just goes to show what we will put up with to avoid anxiety. This is one crappy condition.

This year has been shite for me too, loads of personal stuff,serious family illnesses, loss of pets and it does have an accumulative affect on anxiety. This year has been one of my worst.
So I'm going to burn this years calendar in a voodoo ceremony on 31st. Things have just got to get better right?

[Carnation]

Buster, so pleased to hear your partner is going to put the records straight.
I'm also pleased to hear that you had some quality time with your mum.
The rest can be resolved in time, so what I am saying is you had two positives in your day, so not all negative.
Darksky, I never realised you had bad stuff going on and you still have time for others. I wish you a better year next year as you deserve it.

[Buster70]

Darksky really sorry you are having a shite year too , anxiety does make you feel doomed if you do doomed if you don't , I have to tell myself I'm not getting involved then go for it at the last second or I overthink the situation and bottle it , I can regret not doing the right thing for weeks where as getting involved is over after a day .
All of those small problems seem to grind down your confidence to a fine powder then one puff and you're gone . Believe me Ive had a few problems over the last decade .
I'd like to burn the last ten years and start a new year with a positive outlook , maybe change your name to Blueskys next year .
I think I can see next years upset Coming but I'll cross that bridge when I get to it .
Carnation I'm going with three positives my daughter sent a video of my grandson in his first nativity play which was as cute a button , he was a king , my mum loved that as well .

[fishman65]

Buster, first of all can I just take my hat off to you. I'm not actually wearing one but all the same, you did brilliantly tackling that pea-brained roofer. As us anxiety people know, confrontation is not good for us, it can trigger symptoms and generally impacts negatively in a big way. And yet you still went ahead and took the bull by the horns.

Secondly, I'm a qualified bricklayer with a good few years experience before I met Mrs F and became her carer. The buck stops with whoever has done the work, end of. It doesn't make a difference blaming anyone or everyone else, if you have paid good money for the work to be done, it should be done and to a satisfactory standard. If the roof is leaking then he needs to sort the problem out himself. I'm guessing one of his lackeys might be at fault but nevertheless, he's the boss.

It's people like him that give builders a bad name and spawn all those TV shows about cowboy builders ripping off clients. I worked with my Dad and brothers, it was a matter of pride to get the job done correctly. Sadly we had cases where we carried out the work and didn't get paid the agreed cost, which led to the business folding. Crooked customers exist too but that's another story for another day. Well done mate for sticking to your guns, you're an inspiration.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Buster, first of all can I just take my hat off to you. I'm not actually wearing one but all the same, you did brilliantly tackling that pea-brained roofer. As us anxiety people know, confrontation is not good for us, it can trigger symptoms and generally impacts negatively in a big way. And yet you still went ahead and took the bull by the horns.

Secondly, I'm a qualified bricklayer with a good few years experience before I met Mrs F and became her carer. The buck stops with whoever has done the work, end of. It doesn't make a difference blaming anyone or everyone else, if you have paid good money for the work to be done, it should be done and to a satisfactory standard. If the roof is leaking then he needs to sort the problem out himself. I'm guessing one of his lackeys might be at fault but nevertheless, he's the boss.

It's people like him that give builders a bad name and spawn all those TV shows about cowboy builders ripping off clients. I worked with my Dad and brothers, it was a matter of pride to get the job done correctly. Sadly we had cases where we carried out the work and didn't get paid the agreed cost, which led to the business folding. Crooked customers exist too but that's another story for another day. Well done mate for sticking to your guns, you're an inspiration.

Fishman says more than I can. It is hard to stand up for yourself with these disorders. We want to run away but then know we will just kick ourselves. Like much in anxiety if you can choose to take it on knowing how it may turn out not only does it show your courage, your willingness to keep pushing yourself but also shows you can do things you may think you can't. That all helps build self confidence and the self esteem it knocks onto.

You're just one of those guys that doesn't like anyone feeling bad for something you have said or done. Confrontation opens the door to this too and unlike so many in this world you don't want to spend your life making others feel bad for a "win" but still want to stand up for yourself (and others).

Fishman, my dad was a landscape gardener (for a firm) for many years and a lot of them did "foreigners" (is that a term still?) so he knows what you mean. He's been lucky in that because he could pick his outside work he didn't have these problems. They certainly happened plenty inside the firm though. It's all a chain as you know better than I do, everyone spreading out the money across multiple jobs & suppliers and anyone folds in that chain and you are knackered.

I remember when his firm went bust, again, the liquidators sent out the schedules and they had racked up loads to a plant hire supplier who later refused to supply them unless is it cash upfront. Another was a building supplies merchant but they kept allowing it even after as I guess that's how it goes for them? But at one point they nearly folded simply because they were doing a large job for a businessman (now a bit of a celeb, been on TV) who kept finding excuses. He nearly caused the firm to go under as they had all their men on it as it was so big a job. The guy was well known for his "dealings" (I worked for his company in my early days and we all saw what went on) but a big firm can cover these situations better than a small one...although Carillion seem to have broken that mould

Well done, Buster! And I hope you get that SS record sorted (funny how initials come out, isn't it? )