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Thread: As good as it gets .

  1. #401
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
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    Re: As good as it gets .

    Hi Buster, it's about time I dragged myself away from panicking over coronavirus and gave you a bit of support instead. Crikey your situation sounds like a nightmare and reminds me of how things were here in the not so distant past. Feeling like your house is not your own. I really think you bend over backwards to keep others happy at the expense of your own happiness. Trying to carry all the cares of your family on your own back really isn't fair on you, but often when someone is so selfless as yourself, that person ends up feeling as though other's well being is their responsibility. It isn't though, there is only so much you can do without slipping below the surface. You clearly do more than your fair share, people around you need to start giving back.

    That might sound harsh and I know it isn't easy when your conscience gets the better of you. I should probably start taking my own advice, but you having those dark thoughts is concerning to me and no doubt to anyone else reading this thread who knows you. Please stay safe buddy and know you're not alone.
    __________________
    'It was a wedding ring, destined to be found in a cheap hotel, lost in a kitchen sink, or thrown in a wishing well' - Marillion, Clutching at Straws, 1987

  2. #402
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    , , United Kingdom.
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    1,075

    Re: As good as it gets .

    Quote Originally Posted by Darksky View Post
    If not get round to that petrol station that men run to when they've forgotten important dates
    You know us too well Darksky!!
    __________________
    'It was a wedding ring, destined to be found in a cheap hotel, lost in a kitchen sink, or thrown in a wishing well' - Marillion, Clutching at Straws, 1987

  3. #403
    Join Date
    Feb 2016
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    1,677

    Re: As good as it gets .

    Thanks ladies, going out for a drive was probably the best thing or things would have escalated, I canít understand why sheíd rather carry it on than let it go and go somewhere sheíd be happy but this is what happens no amount of apologising will make it pass any quicker , it was too good to be true my daughter was looking after the dogs for the first time ever probably because we helped her so much with her losing the dog at Christmas, it was a good opportunity to spend some time together and the weather wouldnít bother us , being in a house with heating and a storm outside would be bliss we still havenít got any heating upstairs.
    I do wish I had someone to talk to at times to put things in perspective, something you two have done tonight , with anxiety you stub your toe and it feels like it might be the start of the apocalypse.
    Thanks for the kind words , better find something to knock me out itís half two and I canít sleep .
    ps , flowers and card were already hid but I think theyíd be a waste of time now .

  4. #404
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
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    9,393

    Re: As good as it gets .

    Why not go down to the coast by yourself if she is still in a huff with you for not giving her 100% attention? Might be a wake up call for her? And you would get some sense of self-worth back.

    Just think about it..Why shouldn't you because she can't hold you to ransom all the time and dangle the suicide card at you when you object to anything?

  5. #405
    Join Date
    Feb 2016
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    1,677

    Re: As good as it gets .

    Ok so like a bad episode of Eastenders you may be wondering where things have gone over the weekend or maybe you could give a hoot , my partner can be a nightmare but she can also be warm , loving , selfless and sexy thats why I always hang around for the good side but as with most people you have to take the rough with the smooth me included, Shane McGowan said of fairytale of New York if you love someone you will also hate them at times .
    So my weekend , I convinced her that here or there could be shite so it might as well be there where we like being , we went with nothing to lose and all went well nice room with a Sea view , she was back to herself , I think I’d burnt out my anxiety quota so I actually felt quite good , dealing with people , eating out , and on the east coast no storm not even rain despite a random gloomy old man trying to convince me the end of the world was nigh , on the whole a good weekend .
    Now we get to today , started with a b&b fried breakfast ( zero anxiety) went to see the sea , then set off home , nearly a hundred miles in pissing down rain with flood water on the roads ( WTF ) we really escaped it down there , so it gets worse and worse and eventually some roads are closed but what the hell im feeling good , when others turn around I drove up pavements on the wrong side of the road to keep out of the deep water , we had to leave the closed dual carriageway to go cross country which added a couple of hours and still I wasn’t daunted, singing away thinking worst case we get stranded but we are in a van and have shopping so not the worst place to be .
    we got back and picked up the dogs and while walking them the old one pooped with blood in it , didn’t panic as she looks ok so see how she is tomorrow.
    Back home my daughter comes round while we are unpacking, I notice her eyes are red and ask are you ok she puts her arm around me and starts crying ( we are not a huggy family ) I did panic a bit at this point asking what’s wrong instantly thinking worst case maybe dead boyfriend in the shed or she’s dying , what it actually was is our old friend anxiety, she said shes felt weird all weekend , feeling like everything is not real and she’s about to die , I sit her down and say calmly you’re breathing and look ok so you’re not dying now breathe in through your nose and out through you’re mouth like you’re whistling, I explained calmly what she was experiencing and say “you must feel bad if you’ve given me a hug when no f**ker has died “ it raised smile and I pointed out she’d stopped over breathing and was still alive .
    Funny how reaching what feels like rock bottom can give you a little confidence, wether they like it or not they f**king well need me and sometimes I’m actually right .
    There are days you cant cope and days you can take it in you’re stride , Friday was the former today was the later.
    Thanks for the advice and support ladies , gents and fish , I need to give a bit back to this site which I will when things pick up .

  6. #406
    Join Date
    May 2017
    Posts
    763

    Re: As good as it gets .

    So glad you finally managed to go away and it seems you had a great time. Isn't it great when anxiety leaves you alone to enjoy life and be ' normal '. And to think people live like this all the time.

    its awful when you see family suffering with it too. You can't help them because you can't help yourself. Although we can offer empthay, which we have in bucketloads.

    Always here for you Buster. No hugs cos I know you don't do them.
    __________________
    Take my hand, we'll make it I swear....
    Livin' On A Prayer...Bon Jovi

  7. #407
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    May 2014
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    Re: As good as it gets .

    I'm glad you got away too Buster

  8. #408
    Join Date
    Feb 2016
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    1,677

    Re: As good as it gets .

    Hi all , well where to start with what’s going on , it seems quite ironic that many of us have said if normal people could feel how we do for a day then they might be more understanding of how anxiety feels , well now the vast majority of the world has a taste of how it feels to wake up worried and go to sleep worried .
    So far this year has been as much of a stress as last year , each time I think I can stop worrying about the present problem another one arises but wow I wasn’t expecting this , it’s like Ive woken up in one of my nightmares, to start with I handled it pretty well even managing to ignore the fact I’m at risk because I’m asthmatic and my partner has had pneumonia more times than I can remember over the last three years , it’s now become unavoidable, the news , the papers , dog walkers , shop staff , everyone is talking about it so I’ve gone into information overload , I wake up and within a few seconds it’s in my thoughts .
    So I’ve done everything possible to protect myself and partner but she couldn’t give a monkey’s , she isn’t worried about catching it or dying , even though things have been rough I’ve been working and doing pretty well in that respect , dealing with people has become easier , we’ve cleared any debts , the problem is now to buy I have to deal with people ( risk of infection) and to sell I have to either meet the buyer or go and post the item ( more risk ) on monday a chap came to collect an item , it should be simple pay and sod off but no he had to ask a billion questions and tell me his life story, I was friendly and polite but inside very aware how close he was , each step back I take he would step closer ( f**king space invaders ) is it rude to say “ back the f**k off have you not seen any news you moron ? “ I may start a new line of back off t’shirts or maybe recycled washing machine doors for helmets , so after all my efforts of hand sanitising and not getting too close it all seems to be pointless, yesterday we had the kids round and my daughters, I said it was a bad idea but they came had dinner and it was nice to all be together but today my partner has come down with what we hope is just a cold , daughter rang very worried because her partner is also ill .
    So what to do ? Self isolation? I could do it quite easily, I have a ton of work to do and projects going back years to finish but so far keeping a distance from people hasn’t worked , is it possible when you have family? Is it worth it ? Should we just carry on and let what will be ?
    Now two things before I disappear, this virus seems to bring out the best and worst , an old chap had fallen over yesterday in the street and at least 5 people had pulled up and ran over to help not thinking of themselves , on the flip I was in the supermarket today and a young woman was stacking shelves she opened a large box with packets of paracetamol in and two vultures a man and woman together grabbed two large boxes each , at least twenty packets in each box ( I can only assume they planned suicide because Eurovision is cancelled) the young lady just said you can’t buy them you can only buy two packets, to which they started complaining until she pointed out it was paracetamol and you can only ever buy two packets virus or not , greedy f**kwits .
    Sorry I deleted my last post I wasn’t in a very good place at the time , and quick man hug to fish I read your dog passed away and I know how bloody hard that is .
    Take care now wash your hands .

  9. #409
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Posts
    6,621

    Re: As good as it gets .

    I was thinking the exact same thing Buster.
    Now practically everyone has anxiety and for once, I fit in.
    Times like this you see the good, bad and the ugly in the world we live in.
    Good you been keeping busy and you seem to be going around in the same circle of life but still managing to survive it.
    If you can survive all that, you can survive the Coronavirus.
    Maybe time for an invention in that glorious shed of yours.

  10. #410
    Join Date
    Feb 2016
    Posts
    1,677

    Re: As good as it gets .

    Bring back brexit all is forgiven ! Months of brexit news wishing they would just shut the feck up now I avoid the news like , well like Covid19 , six months of rain and walking the dogs in sludge now the sun comes out the most stunning mornings with daffodils blooming everywhere and we have to stay in , agrophobics must be pissing themselves welcome to our world of social distancing.
    Well today I bring you my story from the hospital car park , just dropped my daughter off and it’s not worth driving home to come back , the parking is free because you can’t touch the machines , every cloud eh ? Since this all kicked off I’ve worked harder than ever no time to think is a good thing , I can’t sell or buy but any work I do is money in the bank when this all calms down ( I know not soon ) .
    monday I did my last posting and Tuesday I picked up my last load from my regular supplier, his supply has now shut so he’s packed up and I can pack up meaning I still have work to go back to .
    So when I thought I’d done I got a puncture on the way home , got a tyre fitted and my handbrake cable snapped , not fazed I’ve fixed it just in time for the new rules don’t drive to walk your dog .
    I must admit I’ve been more worried about fake brain tumours, fake lung cancer etc etc etc .
    Im being carful and the world seems to be getting the idea just the odd idiot standing toooo close .
    catch you laters .

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