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Thread: As good as it gets .

  1. #461
    Join Date
    Feb 2016
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    Re: As good as it gets .

    Hi there , thank you yes I’ll be hitting the big 50 tomorrow, I would rather be spending it down the coast dipping my toes in the sea but although I’ve been tempted I know it will not be the same with everything closed and nowhere to park , I have my beach hut down the garden which now boasts a new bed and big tv , Derick has been very quiet since lockdown I think Covid may be worrying him more than he’s letting on , some days he doesn’t say a single word .
    So my initial panic of catching and dying of covid has calmed I worry more about my family’s health than my own , the other day I had a chat ( 6ft apart ) with a black chap I met walking the dogs as usual covid comes up , I pointed out he was black I have asthma and we’ve both eaten a few too many pies so we are both f**ked if we catch it , we laughed and went on our way avoiding zombies , further along I spoke to another dog walker I know ( pet hate for Carnation coming ) he said “ hi you’ve lost weight I can tell , have you been ill ? Are you ill ? “ I just laughed and said “ f**k that was nearly a compliment then you ruined it “ it’s a weird new world .
    point of case today was an old friend’s funeral but instead of going we lined the street were he worked and waited for the funeral cars , I tried to stand in the shade but a woman went nuts for standing a touch too close , I’d say I was about 5 ft away but she insisted I go past her and stand 6ft away even though she could easily have move away an extra ft and me walking past meant getting closer , I wasn’t fussed in the slightest and was tempted to tell her to f**k right off but I was there to pay my respects , the cars pulled up and not knowing what to do everyone started to clap and a chap got out and played the trumpet ( badly but we’ll let that pass ) it was very moving .
    I havent given up on up on this place I just found it combined with the news and people in general a bit of a coverload, I don’t watch the numbers each day anymore , just every now and then to see what lies the Mp’s can try and sell us that day , I have plenty of problems right at home I don’t need to go out to find more .
    So 50 tomorrow and what I can say to the younger people on here is that I first experience anxiety when I was seventeen and thought life was over , It wasn’t and since then I’ve had a lot of fun , two kids and two grandkids so stick with it life can get better .
    Hope you lot are doing ok , Take care x

  2. #462
    Join Date
    May 2014
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    Re: As good as it gets .

    Happy Birthday for tomorrow Buster.
    🍰🎁🍷❤️
    Whatever you decide to do, you can congratulate yourself for getting this far through life and still keeping your humour. x

  3. #463
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    Re: As good as it gets .

    Gee 50!you are only a youngen Buster How was your day and hope you get to tip your toes in the sea.x

  4. #464
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    Re: As good as it gets .

    Thanks for the good wishes all , didn’t have too bad a day , my daughters came round with the grand kids , they were supposed to come at 6pm for a small garden party but turned up at 10am and didn’t leave , it was good to see them but not hugging the kids still hurts , I do wonder if a life of sticking to the rules is worth it , My asthma isn’t going away I’ve damaged my lungs and a vaccine probably won’t happen so why not just enjoy life when you can and take the risk , I mean we take risks everyday driving , riding walking the dogs , eating food when you can no longer read the use by dates the wheels did nearly come off at 2pm when my grandson went in the kitchen and came out with wet feet , I’d been in earlier and left a tap running , 2” of water right through , partner went ballistic but calmed down when we’d bailed it out , a dustpan is surprisingly good for bailing a floor , who’d have thought? We learn something new everyday.
    Today felt a bit of a relief for me and many others , 10 weeks of this unprecedented times , feeling uncomfortable going outside ,scared Scottish kids asking their parents what was going on outside and what the yellow ball thing was in the sky , yes today after ten weeks of lockdown the sun disappeared behind the old familiar rain cloud and life felt a little more normal and bearable, the unwelcome crowds on my dog walk had disappeared leaving me to talk to my dogs who never reply and scratch my arse without first looking behind to see who’s following.
    I still have my dreams of taking a campervan around the coast up round Scotland and back down to Cornwall , when it’s safe to do so I will go , we put things off so much and something like covid can make you realise how fragile life is , my mother , daughter and partner all have health problems so if the stars align , the wind blows in the right direction and it’s not too hot ( yeah I know Lola you’d call this chilly ) maybe next year .
    I haven’t felt like popping my toes under a steam roller for a while so how bad can things be ? You are right Carnation I have done well to get this far I think I’d used up my nine lives by about thirty , I’ve been in house fires , car fires while welding , tent fire while camping , actually caught fire once while welding which my fire watching mate thought was hilarious ,had guns pointed at me several times , swept out to see while drunk , car crashes , drunken beatings , almost drowned by an older lad , nearly decapitated myself fixing an industrial fan , electric shocks , one or two explosions, plus many many more , and the one that brought me here with ptsd ,,,,,, drum roll ,choking on a pork scratching, why that one tipped me over the edge is anyone’s guess , so I’d say the last twenty years have been extra time .
    Lets see what tomorrow brings eh ? . Let’s be careful out there .

  5. #465
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    Re: As good as it gets .

    My daughter got her results by phone yesterday and she does have MS , I’ve just felt like crying since we found out , we knew it was likely but I’ve just kept denying it and trying to convince her it’s something else , she has to go for a lumber puncture for more tests , I don’t know the right things to say to her I’m trying to be positive but she’s too upset and very angry so she can’t see any future other than being in a wheelchair which may not come for many years , she lives alone since splitting with her long term boyfriend a few months ago and is furloughed from work until at least October so I’m worried sick about her being on her own so much , this is my younger daughter who we very nearly lost to an overdose when she was younger so I do feel extra protective of her , I know it’s probably too soon for her to see but she does still have a life ahead of her .
    Im not sure why I’m writing this but I haven’t slept and can’t stop thinking about it .

  6. #466
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    Re: As good as it gets .

    You're going to feel devastated for her despite being kind of prepared for the likelihood of an MS diagnosis..but without the lumbar puncture and other tests it's not a definitive diagnosis and she will not know what type of MS she has..

    You know she's very vulnerable but surely now there would be a medical reason for her to live with you if she wanted the extra security of her Mum and Dad around her?

  7. #467
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    May 2014
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    Re: As good as it gets .

    Buster, I agree with Pulisa about living with you.
    She can still have her independent life but with the added security. Would that be possible?
    Sending you a virtual hug x

  8. #468
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    Re: As good as it gets .

    Crikey Buster, I'm really sorry to hear this. Though as has been said, it's early days. Damn, I wish I could say something to put your mind at ease but anxiety helps to predict all the worst possible scenarios doesn't it. Hang in there mate.
    __________________
    'It was a wedding ring, destined to be found in a cheap hotel, lost in a kitchen sink, or thrown in a wishing well' - Marillion, Clutching at Straws, 1987

  9. #469
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    Re: As good as it gets .

    Hi , she did ask the doctor if there was any chance it wouldn’t be ms but he said given the lesions on her spine and brain and the symptoms she had for long time it would be very unlikely not to be , I feel bad that for the last year I’ve been telling her it’s anxiety , ms does come and go in severity , flare ups and remission which is what’s been happening to her for some time , the doc seems to think she’s had it for the last three years .
    There is no reason for her not to move back home but she doesn’t want to , she only lives across the road , she’s been tearful today so we spent a bit of time together putting WiFi and Netflix in my shed then listened to some music , then shot the fence a few times with an airgun , we didn’t mention the illness I think she needed a bit of normality and distraction.
    I guess we’ll deal with it as best we can like everything else , I do feel a bit torn with my mum being so ill and partner not well a lot of the time , sometimes I feel like screaming stop the f**king ride I want to get off .
    Thanks for the kind comments I know you lot have a lot on your plates as well .

  10. #470
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    Re: As good as it gets .

    Quote Originally Posted by Buster70 View Post
    Hi , she did ask the doctor if there was any chance it wouldn’t be ms but he said given the lesions on her spine and brain and the symptoms she had for long time it would be very unlikely not to be , I feel bad that for the last year I’ve been telling her it’s anxiety , ms does come and go in severity , flare ups and remission which is what’s been happening to her for some time , the doc seems to think she’s had it for the last three years .
    There is no reason for her not to move back home but she doesn’t want to , she only lives across the road , she’s been tearful today so we spent a bit of time together putting WiFi and Netflix in my shed then listened to some music , then shot the fence a few times with an airgun , we didn’t mention the illness I think she needed a bit of normality and distraction.
    I guess we’ll deal with it as best we can like everything else , I do feel a bit torn with my mum being so ill and partner not well a lot of the time , sometimes I feel like screaming stop the f**king ride I want to get off .
    Thanks for the kind comments I know you lot have a lot on your plates as well .
    Truly sorry to hear this bad news but remember that treatments for MS have advanced now, and depending on further test results, her diagnosis could be the slow-progressing type with long periods of remission.

    Keep positive and enjoy time together as I'm sure she needs her morale/spirits lifting right now. She has plenty of time to return home when ready.

    All the best from KK
    __________________
    KK

    Never Surrender, Comrade

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