Page 58 of 73 FirstFirst ... 848565758596068 ... LastLast
Results 571 to 580 of 725

Thread: As good as it gets .

  1. #571
    Join Date
    Dec 2014
    Posts
    3,229

    Re: As good as it gets .

    Take care, Buster. My mother very tidily died on her birthday; later we learned from her elder sister it was almost to the minute she was born.

    Look after your brother and your partner: but don't forget to look after yourself. If you're in the caravan, just make it toasty and sleep sound. You might even get some rain to listen to later.

  2. #572
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Posts
    10,624

    Re: As good as it gets .

    Glad you got away Buster, and your brother and partner too. Heavy rain tonight, but I quite like the sound of rain in a caravan.
    Pamplemousse is right. Make it nice and toasty and wrap yourself in a duvet. x

  3. #573
    Join Date
    Feb 2016
    Posts
    1,973

    Re: As good as it gets .

    Thanks for the replies , PM death does care much for your plans if it’s your day then it’s your day , my partner’s aunt died at her mothers funeral and it’s not even uncommon funerals are stressful , but sorry your mum passed on her birthday.
    Id like to say it’s been a break being away but the back up caravan is a bit crap no proper heating and not comfortable and the toaster doesn’t work ( nightmare no toast ) .
    Partner is still not well , constant stomach ache and still having to run to the toilet , the morphine for her knee takes the stomach pain away but she’s in constant pain , she’s also going through the menopause, we’ve always had a tempestuous relationship things are either great and passionate or completely destructive, since she started the menopause the passion has dwindled, I still love her and tell her loads how good she looks but it’s become very one sided , she said she doesn’t feel that way about me at the moment, she said she doesn’t feel much at all just very low , she’s also embarrassed about the sweating and mood swings , we used to be all over each other especially when we were away , if I bring it up she just shuts me down , I know she’s in constant pain and going through a huge change so I should be understanding but I just hate the thought of that part of our lives being over , I constantly feel I’ve done something wrong , I guess I’m being a bit clingy right now just needing some comfort but it’s the last thing she needs .
    mentally I’m not doing too well , I can’t sleep and if I do it’s constant nightmares, I’m tensed up so much I keep thinking I’m going to have a heart attack which gives me more chest pain and starts a cycle .
    Absolutely chucking it down tonight which is nice , home tomorrow which doesn’t bother me as it’s not been the break I thought it might be , dreading fetching mums ashes on Monday , 75 years of life put into a plastic tub , it’s going to be heart breaking the walk home .
    Spent some quality time walking with my brother so not a total loss .
    If anyone has any advice on how I should be dealing with her menopause I would appreciate it , I have no idea what to say or do , everything seems to be changing so fast and let’s face it we hate change .
    I am seriously worried my van will be flooded in by morning its parked on soaked grass and already been stuck once today , I think this will be the last trip away as Notts is going into tier three so no traveling .
    Bye until I’m back home x

  4. #574
    Join Date
    Feb 2016
    Posts
    1,973

    Re: As good as it gets .

    New day new worry , I’m back home feeling exhausted emotionally and physically, got very upset as I approached my town thinking about collecting the ashes tomorrow, I also nipped to my mums to collect the probate letter , my brother doesn’t get home until tomorrow , the house is nearly empty now , thinking it might be the last time I’ll be going there I had a wonder around , I went upstairs to my my mums old room and was horrified by what I found , hanging from the attic hatch was a noose , I felt physically sick , I’ve taken it down and brought it home , I’m now stuck with the dilemma of what to do , my brother will know Ive taken it , do I talk to him or not mention it ? I don’t know if it’s been there a while or if he had planned to use it after the holiday , I really don’t know what to do for the best , I feel like I’m on the edge myself , constant missed heartbeats are scaring me and I feel like I can’t take much more but I need to look after him .
    I know I’ve probably used up all my advice tokens but I would appreciate an opinion on what is the best way to tackle this
    ideally before he returns tomorrow and finds it gone .
    Thanks in advance.

  5. #575
    Join Date
    Dec 2016
    Posts
    3,832

    Re: As good as it gets .

    I would go to your brother and encourage him to talk. If we won't talk to you, then the suicide hotline or samaritans. That noose was a definite cry for help. Before people commit suicide, they generally make cries for help. Trust me, you don't want to take any risks with this.
    __________________
    I'm still a work in progress.
    Currently working on: World Domination

  6. #576
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Posts
    10,624

    Re: As good as it gets .

    Hi Buster,

    First of all the nightmares you are having is the mind's way of processing stress and grief, so it's actually a good thing.
    Menopausal women are best left alone as far as pushing the bedroom antics or firing questions surrounding the subject. Women talk to women about the subject because they understand. But compliments and acts of kindness never go a miss.
    Your trip away. So it wasn't as you'd planned but it was probably needed. You needed to be neutral for a while so it wasn't a waste.
    Collecting the ashes is quite a moving experience but not as bad as you might think it will be. I've done it 3 times now.
    As for the noose you found, you did the right thing.
    I'm making an assumption that it was left to be found, so keep talking to your Bro.
    Hope that helps a bit. x

  7. #577
    Join Date
    Feb 2016
    Posts
    1,973

    Re: As good as it gets .

    Thanks for the replies , I’m not pushing on the intimacy side but not hugging or kissing I do miss and it’s not like it’s been months I think I just need it more now but the timing is t great her having so many problems as well any way that can now wait .
    As you know I’ve been through this with my partner and daughter attempting suicide , the thought of finding him is destroying me , he didn’t know I would be going round again but we did tell him yesterday we nip round to fetch the letters , I’d hope it’s cry for help , he’s been up and down on holiday but our family have shown him so much love , aunts uncles cousins and my daughters all keeping in touch to make sure he’s ok ( not so much for me but I guess they think I’ll be ok ) I’m not saying anything until he’s back tomorrow, I know he’ll be embarrassed about it and it’s going to be awkward brothers don’t tend to talk about emotions , he’d put quite a lot of effort into rigging it up but maybe he wanted his partner to find it , I’m hoping the kindness he’s been shown over the last few weeks is enough to change his mind and he did mention putting up a Christmas tree at his new house so he has plans even if small ones .
    Again thanks .

  8. #578
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    , , United Kingdom.
    Posts
    3,893

    Re: As good as it gets .

    Buster, I would speak to your brother about the noose and get some kind of professional involvement onside. I attempted exactly that aged 23, luckily I was too drunk and made a hash of it. But you can't take any chances here, but the fact it was seemingly left for someone to discover suggests he is asking for help. Don't leave it to chance mate. Look after yourself too. Our lives seem to run parallel in many ways. In my thoughts.
    __________________
    'It was a wedding ring, destined to be found in a cheap hotel, lost in a kitchen sink, or thrown in a wishing well' - Marillion, Clutching at Straws, 1987

  9. #579
    Join Date
    Feb 2016
    Posts
    1,973

    Re: As good as it gets .

    Fish I think there are a lot of people who’ve had similar lives we just don’t talk about it because of the stigma attached to mental illness, as much as I’d like to get outside help I know he wouldn’t go ahead with it he’s not keen on people in general, I’ve been in contact with him today because of me collecting the ashes and dealing with the solicitor, I be tried to judge his mood which seemed ok , then this evening he rang pretty annoyed that I’d taken the rope away , I explained a why id done it and although I did ask him straight if he felt like ending his life he seemed more concerned that it was expensive rope and he wanted it back , he said he’d had it in the attic for a long time but it didn’t explain why he’d recently set it up , there were also blocks of wood in the bathroom to stand on .
    I know from experience and have been told by my therapist that you can’t watch them all the time if someone want to do it they will , Ive told him he can come to us anytime or I will go to him if he needs me , all this worrying is making me ill .
    Thanks

  10. #580
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Posts
    10,624

    Re: As good as it gets .

    You can't give it back Buster. You would have that on your conscience if something were to happen. x
    Last edited by Carnation; 27-10-20 at 09:50.

Page 58 of 73 FirstFirst ... 848565758596068 ... LastLast

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Similar Threads

  1. Feeling good today, anyone feel good?
    By Tessar in forum Success Stories
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 04-09-14, 00:21
  2. If the Dr says your heart is good ,is it good?
    By looking4answers in forum Symptoms
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 06-09-11, 21:19
  3. I feel good......i knew that i would.....so good
    By keepemlaughing in forum Success Stories
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 14-12-06, 05:31
  4. Good night = good start to the day
    By sandie in forum Panic / Panic Attacks
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 12-12-06, 21:44
  5. I'm no good, simply because I'm no good
    By kuzaki in forum Social Anxiety
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 15-11-06, 11:02

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •