Intrusive Thoughts - Am I Going Crazy?

[coastgirl]

Hi all,

I've been under a LOT of life stress recently and it has kind of opened me up to an attack of OCD in the form of intrusive thoughts and worries about "losing control" or something.

I used to have this back in high school, with occasional flare ups. I went through phases where I thought I would blurt out "I'm gay" in class (I actually am gay and being closeted was a HUGE stressor for me. I'm now out and it took a huge weight off and a lot of anxiety went away. However now I'm having a lot of financial and other life stress and my anxious and intrusive thoughts are back. Yay.

I suffered from harm OCD here and there for a while due to a TV show I saw when I was little about someone who was afraid of sleepwalking and harming others. That got into my head and I became terrified that I would hurt someone in my sleep.

Do these thoughts mean I am going insane? A root fear is that I'm losing my mind or that I will give into these fears.

Sometimes when I'm driving on the road I worry I will lose control and veer off an overpass or something. I have also had extreme worries when driving close to other people like cyclists that I will suddenly lose control and hit them. It's AWFUL. I really hate it. I'm trying to use my CBT type skills to talk myself through these small episodes but it is hard.

I will mention this stuff to my therapist at my next session. I just wanted to vent here and get some thoughts as the extreme stress I'm under is causing me to lose the capability to fight these thoughts and anxiety is taking over.

Also, my minor panic attack tonight was caused (I think) by smoking some weed while I was already way too stressed. I know that for some people smoking eases anxiety but for me it seems to make it worse if I'm already keyed up. So lesson learned - don't smoke when I'm already very stressed.

[amanda*43]

I think the things you mention 're driving and so on are really common OCD thoughts. It is awful I know. Hopefully they will ease off when your life is not so hectic.

[Lana]

I suffer from different OCD ( I have HUGE health anxiety), but I can tell you: rumination and intrusive thoughts that you simply cannot get rid of are the worst thing for me. I tried different techniques, but I do not know how to stop it.. It is absolutely draining, both mentally and physically and it is so damn hard to live like that. I know I am not helping a lot, but just wanted to share with you - I know it makes me feel little better when I talk , or hear from, a fellow sufferer. I wish you all the best, and decent relief from the beast

[MH19611]

Hi there - I sometimes suffer from intrusive thoughts too. The reason that they are so alarming to you is that you really DON'T want to do them. So you ask yourself, WHY AM I THINKING ABOUT IT THEN? Does thinking it mean you want to do it? NO. But the fact that the thought is even in your head is terrifying. You're body and mind are stressed. As a result, it is thinking up the "worst scenarios" it can (driving off the road, hitting a bicyclist, etc.). I've read a lot about these types of thoughts and I keep reading that you should NOT give the thoughts any attention. Notice them, identify them as intrusive thoughts, remind yourself that these are false thoughts - that isn't who you are or what you want to do, and move on. They will come back for a while, but try to follow that simple action and not give them attention. That's what they feed on...