I feel dirty (sexual)

[Homer47]

I no buts it the guilt feeling from me for my thinking. I no when your that drunk you think everything is ok, it will be allright etc. But really it isn’t. I have learned especially the amount of drink i shouldn’t consume to be like that next time. It’s just the shame in it because it’s gamily.

[Carys]

Yep, lesson learnt with alcohol. For what its worth - I think you are actually a very moral and considerate person, thats why you are feeling such a level of guilt.

[Homer47]

Thanks carys means a lot. Just hope there’s no outcome if she thought o was or tells other people. Or i should just laugh it off.

[Carys]

Nobody knows your thoughts, only you. Yes, of course laugh it off 'Ohh god, I'm so embarrased, at least I had my boxers on - ha ha!'- You drunk and appeared in your boxer shorts to find out if she was ok about an argument. I suspect nothing WILL be mentioned.

[Homer47]

Ye me to but i no it’s just the shame of actually thinking of it. This wouldn’t of happened if o was sober . Yes and glad i didn’t take them off. Ha

---------- Post added at 15:17 ---------- Previous post was at 15:11 ----------

It’s like then just had another image flashback from last wk. And it makes me shudder with disgust but i no it will fade over time.

[Fishmanpa]

This wouldn’t of happened if o was sober

To me, that's the key. Frankly, there's nothing wrong with finding someone attractive. You obviously find this woman attractive and there's nothing wrong with that. She's not even related biologically Where things went south for you is when you drank. As suggested by another member, curtailing or eliminating your alcohol consumption around her would be in order in the future.

Positive thoughts

[Homer47]

Hi it’s nothing to do with attraction sorry. It’s mire to do with i was aware of it b4 i went (fearing) i will do something stupid. Maybe i was testing myself i don’t no. But it will definitely not happen again.

[Fishmanpa]

That was impression I got from your post. Why would you even have the thought otherwise? Anyway... nothing happened and as you said, it won't happen again.

Positive thoughts

[Carys]

Sorry, I got that impression too from the start, that you found her attractive.

[MyNameIsTerry]

I'm glad you're said there is no attraction as this makes it much clearer for me. This leaves me thinking either self sabotage or alcohol causing you to act out of character. But it's clear you worry the alcohol will lead to something and maybe there is a element of self sabotage in knowing it may go there? Alcohol may be a catalyst. It may even be you can change this thinking and find alcohol doesn't become a catalyst, once you've dealt with whatever is causing this thinking.

There is obviously all the usual negative thinking that covers the lead up to the event and the later obsessing & berating.

And you've got a previous drunken event which you told us about in another thread ages ago that may be on your mind.

You have always come across as struggling with what you perceive others may think of you. Self sabotage can be a way to trigger a cycle or react to a trigger in order to keep a cycle going.