ALS / Motor Neuron Disease

[MrLurcher]

So, since I was a teen I have suffered with health anxiety and have probably done it all in terms of catastrophising about serious illnesses. I overcame that in my midtwenties but now it's sort of back. I'm 32 now, and I've been in a state of depression and quite severe fluctuating anxiety over the past 12 months, worried about money, house problems, jobs, and more recently again, my health. It's affected my work, concentration, and now my family.

So far in my life, I've 'had';
Testicular cancer when I was 17
Heart disease when I was 20
Developing schizophrenia around 22
Numerous worries about blood pressure
Numerous worries about types of cancer
Obsessing over cuts and grazes turning into sepsis


A month ago I ended up in A&E because I was convinced I had a sinus CSF leak. I had two bouts of leakage after bending down during the day, and I was out of control with panic. Obviously nothing was wrong.

Last week I had some tummy troubles (I think I've had IBS for a while), and I've been googling Crohn's disease, Ulcerative Colitis, Stomach Ulcers.

Past week or so, I've been compiling evidence that I'm developing Motor Neuron. Over the past few weeks I've been dropping things more often (or I think I'm dropping things more often). So far I dropped a bottle in work which broke, an ipad slipped out of my hand, dropped car keys when I opened a door, dropped my deodorant this morning, and a phone flew out of my hand while I was doing my seatbelt.

On top of that I've been having a few achy legs now and again, and when i talk to strangers for the first time I sometimes get my words mixed up, not sure if that's just the anxiety though.....

I'm convinced this is probably Motor Neuron, even though there are various sources which say that depression, stress and anxiety can cause lapses in concentration.

I'm feeling extremely scared right now, and my partner is at her wits end with me for this non-stop worrying. She's adamant that this is once again my anxiety as I've jumped from CSF leak, to serious bowel disorders to now Motor Neuron in a short space of time. However I'm not sure.

Any advice? Bordering on going to the doctor tomorrow, but I've visited three times over the year due to anxiety and depression and think they will just fob me off as another case of health anxiety.

[Sosoworried]

Hi, i felt like I couldn't read this and not reply. You sound so much like I did. Ive had everytgimh wrong with me according ro my health anxiety but my most recent was I was convinced i had als, I had planned how I was going to tell my children and planned out my few months left in my head. The more I thought I had it the worse my symptoms got and I drive myself quite literally crazy. My partner tried to be understanding but it's hard when they just don't know how it feels. This was only a couple of months ago and guess what... I no longer think I have als. I went to my Dr and started taking anti anxiety tablets but the main reason I know I'm ok is because it is a rapid progressive disease and o know that even after a couple of months my symptoms wouldn't 'happen occasionally or come and go, they would rapidly get worse and I would be in real difficulty now. Now I don't obsess about it my symptoms have improved a lot also. Go to your Dr that's what they are there for, anxiety is as much an illness as anything else and it's that you need help with. I will bet you it's not als, its healty anxiety and you will look back on this in a couple of months and wish you hadn't wasted your life. Sorry for the long message I just want you to see there is light at the end of the tunnel

[Fishmanpa]

READ THIS as often as you need to!

Positive thoughts

[Carys]

or I think I'm dropping things more often

I think this comment is very important. You know what you COULD be dropping things more; anxious people, who don't concentrate and aren't focused on the tasks they are doing are far more likely to have keys slip, ipads dropped and toilet roll put accidentally in the fridge.

[Fishmanpa]

toilet roll put accidentally in the fridge.

Well... that actually might be helpful to those with hemmies or fissures!

Positive thoughts and Brrrrr!

[MrLurcher]

Hi, i felt like I couldn't read this and not reply. You sound so much like I did. Ive had everytgimh wrong with me according ro my health anxiety but my most recent was I was convinced i had als, I had planned how I was going to tell my children and planned out my few months left in my head. The more I thought I had it the worse my symptoms got and I drive myself quite literally crazy. My partner tried to be understanding but it's hard when they just don't know how it feels. This was only a couple of months ago and guess what... I no longer think I have als. I went to my Dr and started taking anti anxiety tablets but the main reason I know I'm ok is because it is a rapid progressive disease and o know that even after a couple of months my symptoms wouldn't 'happen occasionally or come and go, they would rapidly get worse and I would be in real difficulty now. Now I don't obsess about it my symptoms have improved a lot also. Go to your Dr that's what they are there for, anxiety is as much an illness as anything else and it's that you need help with. I will bet you it's not als, its healty anxiety and you will look back on this in a couple of months and wish you hadn't wasted your life. Sorry for the long message I just want you to see there is light at the end of the tunnel

Many thanks for the reply. Yeah, even though I know I've been through this a few times on other medical conditions, and everything is fine in the end, being in the middle of it again is still as scary.

I was prescribed Citalopram a few weeks ago, but I've been too scared to take them. Long story, think I've posted it on here somewhere. Basically, my dad had an adverse reaction to AD's when I was 16, and eventually led to a diagnosis of bipolar. Another condition I fear! So there lies my reason for being scared of taking medication.

I also have some other symptoms, twinges and tingling in my legs and feet. So if it's not MND, I'm thinking MS, Fibromyalgia, Parkinsons or something else sinister than I can get my hands on online.

---------- Post added at 20:31 ---------- Previous post was at 20:28 ----------

(not allowed to post links) Read this as often as you need to!

Positive thoughts

Thank you for the link, I hadn't seen that thread pinned to the top. Apologies.

The main bit that's slightly reassured me is that pain is usually not a symptoms of MND starting, and I do have aches and twinges in my legs.

Naturally, I'll probably move on to another sinister condition that's causing this.

Would stress, anxiety and depression really cause tingling, pins and needles, aches etc?

[Sosoworried]

100% anxiety causes so many physical symptoms! I have muscle twitches, aches, pains, pins and needles, and many many more, even when I'm not feeling anxious! You have been anxious for so long and it has to have a release some how. I understand your concerns with the meds especially with your experience with your dad but they are there to help you. Mine made me worse for a week but I got through it and now feel amazing. These guys on here helped me through it so listen to them and take your tablets but stay in touch with your Dr. Good luck, you will get through this, don't waste your life!!

[Fishmanpa]

Would stress, anxiety and depression really cause tingling, pins and needles, aches etc?

Check this out!

Positive thoughts

[MrLurcher]

Check this out!

Positive thoughts

I have a hard time convincing myself that those sort of symptoms can really be brought on by the mind. Currently have random leg pain over my right leg and mild tingling in my foot. One minute my calf feels tight, then my behind my knee feels tight.

I did have football/soccer training on Thursday, but can't how I've done something to have these sort of symptoms.

[Fishmanpa]

I have a hard time convincing myself that those sort of symptoms can really be brought on by the mind.

Respectfully, having been reading and replying here for many years, your thought pattern and posts are quite familiar. Post a worry, get reassurance, comeback with more symptoms as your anxiety desperately tries to keep your fear alive. Even after a medical professional gives you the all clear, many ask strangers on the internet for more reassurance.

You're on an anxiety forum in the HA section so deep down you know this is all in your mind The key is getting help with the illness you do have. Treating that also treats the symptoms associated with it.

Positive thoughts