Are we less able to handle stress as we age?

[DustingMyselfOff]

I've had anxiety disorders since I was a teen, along with OCD, panic attacks, the usual related stuff. Seen tons of therapists, been on lots of meds, etc. and I know that it's something I have to accept and live with because it will always be there, sometimes flaring, sometimes subsiding.

But the question I've been asking myself lately and trying to find information on is: are we less able to handle stress, pressure and multi-tasking as we age? I have always been a very organized, multi-tasking, "great in a crisis" type of person and actually thrived on it - always needing to have several challenges at once to keep me sane.

For the past year, my job has been increasingly stressful and demanding and since we're a global company, I am often connected to my phone or laptop at all hours, on weekends, holidays, etc. I've championed through it like a pro, but lately I'm at a breaking point a lot sooner than I used to be. The things I used to be able to shrug off are now making me crazy, and I'm agitated and irritated much more quickly. I feel like "I can't take this anymore" several times a day now whereas that used to only happen once or twice a week.

So I'm trying to figure out what's causing the increase in my anxiety and inability to handle the stress like I used to? I have several theories, but the one I'm hoping someone can verify for me or dispel for me is that as we age, our minds are less able to handle as much as they used to. Hell, our physical bodies take longer to heal and snap back from illness, is it possible our brain cells lose that ability, too?

Your thoughts, please?
Sue

[EmmerLooeez]

What has been the state of your mental health during this time Sue? I'd be inclined to think that there are a lot of other factors involved than growing older. I've personally observed people 'mellowing out' with age.

I have found that the older I have become the better I have coped, although everyone is different.

X

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[DustingMyselfOff]

Well, Emmer, you are correct in your analysis that there are other things going on. About a year ago when I found myself really hating to go to my job, I told myself that if things didn't improve in one year (when I turn 62) that I would seriously consider retiring. Some think that's too early for a vibrant, relatively healthy person to retire, but I know several people who have done it and are happy with their decision. So about two months ago I started seriously looking into the feasibility of me retiring, and as someone who has no clue what our monthly bill pay is, it was stressful to be gathering all the data and information, putting it into worksheets, contacting my old 401K provider, my current one, my old pension plan, etc. to see how much money there was in those accounts. What kept me going through that stressful process was the fantasy of retiring..... the closer my birthday got, the more excited and happy I got. I went to see a financial advisor, told him my proposed plan, and he shot me down immediately, telling me it would be financial suicide. I left there devastated. I had also made an appointment with a therapist to make sure I was thinking things through correctly and saw her the next day. She strongly urged me to get a second financial opinion, and reminded me that money is not the only factor in the decision process.

I made an appointment with a second one and liked him a lot better. He sent me home with homework, more facts and figures to gather about the ENTIRE financial picture (all of my husband's income, 401k's, etc.) and I am to see him again Tuesday armed with all the info.

So yes, I've been stressing, seeing how much we spend every month is eye-opening, having had my hopes up so high that I was almost done working, having the first guy shoot them down so quickly, then the second guy giving me more hope, yes, there's a bit on my mind.

And I think that since my dream of leaving that job is possibly within reach, that might also have brought down my tolerance for the stressors of the job. I simply DON'T CARE anymore. I don't want to be there and my heart isn't into it. Apparently I'm highly valued there and have been told that it would be a disaster to the company if I left (but I know that no one is indispensable) I've also rehearsed several scenarios in my head for when I tell my boss (the President) that I'm leaving and, depending on his reaction, will respond with either a tearful goodbye or a list of demands of things that need to change for me to stay.

OK, I guess you helped me answer my own question, but all I've been focusing on lately is WHY am I so easily agitated and stressed by the pressure at work that I used to be able to handle like a pro. My heart and head have already left the job - perhaps that's why I feel I "can't handle it anymore".

Thanks for helping me think out loud, and sorry for the lengthy reply.
Sue

[Carnation]

You said it yourself, 'my heart and head have already left the job'. So maybe think of an alternative. Sometimes you don't have to be left or right, why not meet in the middle.

[EmmerLooeez]

It's great that you've come to that realisation. Is it at all possible to retire from that one job and find something a little more satisfying/enjoyable just maybe a day or two a week to help funds?

I hope your appointment goes well tomorrow. Don't give up chasing your dreams. X

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[DustingMyselfOff]

Thanks, everyone. I guess I won't really know if my stress tolerance declined with age or not until I leave the very stressful job.

Yes, I've thought about retiring, take a few months off for myself (if it's financially feasible) and then finding something part-time that I might actually LIKE doing.

Sue

[Fishmanpa]

IMO as I'm approaching 6 decades, yes and no. Yes in that little things don't get to me and no as I don't tolerate BS and drama well anymore.

I was in a similar situation with my job which I ultimately left. It wasn't the job as much as a toxic environment. I got an equitable exit agreement and have had a couple of months off and frankly it's been glorious! If this is what retirement is, I'd do it in a second! BUT... I'm not financially able so it's back to work for the next ten years.

That said, enjoying the work you do is more than 50% of being happy in life

Positive thoughts

[pulisa]

Sue, how did you get on when you visited your daughter last month? I do so hope it all went as smoothly as possible.

Sorry this is off-topic.