Fear of pregnancy ruining sex life/ marriage

[LilyLabVA]

Fear of pregnancy is affecting my marriage. Okay so straight to the facts I’m married with two healthy beautiful children - both under 10 years old. I am of a Christian/ Catholic upbringing and mostly follow the teachings. My husband and I are done having children. We have a boy and a girl. Both pregnancies were difficult for me due to medical complications and anxiety. I had horrible PPD/ anxiety after my son and was positive I was going to die. It was hell. I take the Pill for heavy bleeding, so we would use contraceptives. My husband would also be willing to use a condom but I’m still TERRIFIED to become pregnant. So much so that we have not been intimate in YEARS! It’s heartbreaking and my husband has totally given up even trying. I don’t know what to do or how to fix this fear to have save our marriage. We are basically roommates who love each other as family but have no intimate connection. Advice?
Could someone help me statistically ?
BCP has a 92-99% effectiveness rate (92% is typical use and 99% perfect use)
Condoms have a (85-94% typical/ perfect use)
If I use both methods and lets use the lower percentages to be extra safe what are the chances of pregnancy?
Also, yes we’ve considered tube tie and vasectomy but my best friend got pregnant with #5 after a failed vasectomy so that leaves me skeptical. Termination of pregnancy by pill or other means are 100% out of the question due to my beliefs.

[nomorepanic]

Hi

This is just a courtesy reply to let you know that your post was moved from its original place to a sub-forum that is more relevant to your issue.

This is nothing personal - it just enables us to keep posts about the same problems in the relevant forums so other members with any experience with the issues can find them more easily.

Please also read this post:

http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=213239

[Midnight-mouse]

Have you considered the hormonal implant, it’s a little rod that is implanted in the arm and is considered more effective than female sterilisation. It lasts three years and can often stop or lighten periods just like the pill.

I’ve been using (just) them for near on 10 years now


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[KatiePink]

Sorry to hear about your situation. It must be very difficult for both of you.

I mean I do believe some relationships that have unconditional love can survive with no 'intercourse'. Sex isn't just intercourse which I'm sure you know, so you can maintain some intimacy in many ways atleast until this issue is sorted out.

If you're on the pill and a condom is used you would be extremely unlikely to conceive. Honestly this worry about what chance do I have can't really be answered but I would say it's extremely slim to none. I wouldn't let this fear hold me back as this must be causing a lot of stress for yourself and in your marriage, but that's easy for me to say as I don't have your concerns & the religious aspect. I'm assuming your husband is aware of the reasons why and you've talked it through. What's his take on it?