Myself and significant other
OK I wasn't ever going to post about this on the forum but I need to throw it out there. A few other good people on this site know but when we are battling anxiety already then all the emotion snowballs. I'm not even sure whether this is the right forum let alone section but I can see another thread that addresses the same subject.
Six months or so ago my lovely wife went off out for the day with a relative but she actually went to meet up with another man. There had been some 'sexting' leading up to it, done right under my nose as it turned out. I won't bore you with details but she told me a couple of days later after our son threatened to tell me.
So why am I posting this here, six months after it happened? A good question but I feel I'm on a rollercoaster. Things peaked at Christmas/new year and we worked through them. But we seem to keep doing that, working through things but it keeps coming full circle. Haven't you got enough to worry about you may ask. Well yes, but anxiety has proven to be a bizarre ally in that sense by distracting me. It's the lulls between bad phases of anxiety, that's when I remember again. The humiliation, the hurt.
About a week after it happened, I had been decorating and laying tiles, something that had needed doing for some time. I overheard her talking to our son's ex, saying that she should have affairs more often, as in it gets me doing jobs. Our son has a new woman in his life now and she and the wife get on really well together, 'best buddies well'. I keep thinking they are sniggering, they have been out to lunch together more than once. Maybe they are, maybe not. I still love her despite everything and that should be enough. But should I still be struggling with it? Does talking through it really work? After all talking is just words, they can't undo what happened.
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'It was a wedding ring, destined to be found in a cheap hotel, lost in a kitchen sink, or thrown in a wishing well' - Marillion, Clutching at Straws, 1987