Page 4 of 4 FirstFirst ... 234
Results 31 to 39 of 39

Thread: Relationship OCD?

  1. #31
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Posts
    52

    Re: Relationship OCD?

    To GAD:

    I am terribly sorry that reading this thread did not make you feel better. I hope you find some reassurance that you are not alone with your feelings/thoughts. I'm on the other side of the globe and I feel your pain!

    I know that I am young, am not married and do not have children to care for. I know that I truly can not empathise with your situation since you are a little deeper into it. I have only been with my boyfriend for 3 years, but I can honestly say that taking time apart has been the best experience for the both of us. We see each other when we need/want to see each other. This has helped my anxiety calm down (well, some days) and has helped me realize that I truly do love him. Like I said, I know there are more lives than just one riding on your decision to seperate yourself, but I think you're doing a good thing. I know it may not mean much coming from a complete stranger, but I just want you to know that I think you're doing the right thing. Ultimately you are your own person and do not owe anyone anything, so get yourself straightened out. I'm sure your family will be waiting with open arms once you figure out they're where you need to be
    __________________
    From: Amanda!!!!



    "When the rain is blowing in your face,
    and the whole world is on your case.
    I would offer you a warm embrace...
    To make you feel my love"

  2. #32
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Posts
    98

    Re: Relationship OCD?

    Hey Amanda...

    ROCD sucks in such a major way, Im sorry you havin to deal with it too...

    I have the same type as you... it comes in bouts and can last anything from a few hours to a few days up to about a week at most then suddenly it goes away for a while and im back to being totally loved up....

    Lots of things tend to trigger it and in my case its made worse by jealousy... My own insecurities, i suffer the other side of the coin to , i find it hard to beleive someone as wonderful as he could possibly be in love with... When both side spin together i flip, become overwhelmed by guilt, jealousy, fear, ripped by anxiety, i feel sick, hot, light headed, hard to swallow... Its truly amazing in a bad way....

    The only thing saving me right now is this site and reminding mself its a bout and will pass...

    On top of it all i suffer from GAD although undiagnosed, i know i have it. Im lucky in a sense if i get all of it in one bout rather than a week of one trail of thought a week of another and a 3rd of the last ... if that makes sense....

    I know i love him, hes the best thing that has ever happend to me and yet i can not break free from the ROCD... I wouldnt wish any of this on my worst enemy, and thats saying something...

    It perfectly natural to question your emotions, but with people like us, we get hooked on the question, and analyse and mutate the thought and expect a certain feeling and when its not there we feel guilt and convince ourselves that the mere fact we questioned it must me we dont love them... and thats Bull ....

    Find ways to relax, get yourself some rescue remedy, and keep reminders that its just a bout and IT WILL PASS....

    In my own personal opinion under no circumstances tell your man about your doubts unless you are absolutely sure you do not love him. Telling him will do nothing but make him feel insecure and inevitably cause a rift that may be irreprable. Talk to friends or family or keep coming on here.. pm me any time you want!

    If anyone disagreess please feel free to say so... its just in my experience making someone else feel insecure to quench my own "fake" guilt did nothing but cause harm

    Big hugs to you

    XXX
    __________________
    You can not appreciate the light until you have stood in the dark.

    You can not know true happiness untill you have experienced deep sorrow.

    Live each day like the first and the last, don't look to the future or fret for the past, take just a step and never look back, love what you have hate not what you lack. You are divine, unique and blessed, you are the subject and life is the test. Know you will fare all weathers and trials, but for now, just sit back and relax for a while.

  3. #33

    Re: Relationship OCD?

    Are any of you members of 'Stuck in a doorway'? If not, I'd suggest joining! They have 3 threads focused solely on ROCD, 2 in the archives, and the other one, ROCD #3, is still active.

  4. #34
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Posts
    98

    Re: Relationship OCD?

    thanks june bug,

    stuck in a door way sounds familiar... I'l look it up

    x
    __________________
    You can not appreciate the light until you have stood in the dark.

    You can not know true happiness untill you have experienced deep sorrow.

    Live each day like the first and the last, don't look to the future or fret for the past, take just a step and never look back, love what you have hate not what you lack. You are divine, unique and blessed, you are the subject and life is the test. Know you will fare all weathers and trials, but for now, just sit back and relax for a while.

  5. #35
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    1

    Re: Relationship OCD?

    im wondering what you mean by relationship phobia and wonder if its the same as this... whenever i meet someone i like a lot i get obsessed with them and our relationship. i want to be with them all the time. i worry all the time about what they are REALLY thinking. where they are if not with me. if they mean what they say to me when they say they love me. if they will end the relationship. etc. i get dizzy, shake, sweat and headaches and stomach aches over it. anyone else like this?

  6. #36
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Posts
    98

    Re: Relationship OCD?

    Hey all...

    Just venting ...sorry... I've posted a couple times on this thread... i suppose it what i relate to best right now...

    Everything is absolutely fine no reason to worry yet it just won't budge...

    I suppose fear of committment is a big issue or trigger im not sure.. find it hard to figure out...

    me and the kids are moving in with my gorgeous man, me and him are currently in the process of decorating and preparing the house... I know this is what i want, I know we make a fantastic team and we have a great time together... i know when the anxiety is gone i am totally head over heals in love with him...

    Unfortunately Im bang in the middle of a bout of ROCD yet again ... I hate this so much.. i know it's all faulse thougths yet i can't budge them... I feel so terribly guilty and doubt myself and my feelings for him... I feel like a liar when i say I love you and feel that he deserves better than me. I wish it would go away.. whats worse and iv said this before, is I start to doubt the ROCD and GAD... i question whether it really is down to that or if the thoughts are real and im using ROCD and GAD as an excuse for these lies?

    I can feel the anxiety taking hold of me and my brain becomes so loud like a crwoded room... a thousand thoughts and images all at once....

    Is it really so much to ask to just be able to BE... to simply be in love and enjoy it?

    I'l have to take my own adive i suppose and keep reminding myself that it will pass....

    GRRRRRR.... Its exhausting..

    When i'm going through a bout i act differently without realising, like I become slightly more distant, don't kiss and cuddle him spontaneously, don't say i love you as often, i don't realise it when its happening but he does and mentions it now and again... I feel like such an evil person...

    Conversely I just wanna be with him.. i wanna be around him all the time... I think about him all the time.. I wish we didn't have to go to work and we could just stay at home together all day...

    He's such a lovely gorgeous caring affectionate beautiful man and I'm so scared of losing him or leaving him because of the ODC and GAD...

    I want to marry him someday, and have children with him... I want to build a life with him... yet I can't budge the doubting and anxiety....

    Venting over...

    thanks to anyone who's read to the bottom )

    big hugs all

    XXX
    __________________
    You can not appreciate the light until you have stood in the dark.

    You can not know true happiness untill you have experienced deep sorrow.

    Live each day like the first and the last, don't look to the future or fret for the past, take just a step and never look back, love what you have hate not what you lack. You are divine, unique and blessed, you are the subject and life is the test. Know you will fare all weathers and trials, but for now, just sit back and relax for a while.

  7. #37

    Re: Relationship OCD?

    Hi toystry23! Sweden calling=)

    Im glad that i saw what you written! Im feeling pretty much the same as you and its killing me! I met a wonderful man and we been together a couple of months. I have never met a man like him. Hes so nice, warm, respectfull,careful and has big safe arms. Our interests are the same and i know he loves me very mutch.

    Like you this is my first real relationship. Before this i have a bad experience with guys and i have been letting down more than once.
    Mayby my bad experience is something who is getting away from the relationship Im in now? Im not used to be happy...Im used to getting hurt. And then im building upp some kind of wall that im not getting over ( unconscious) beacause im afraid to be hurt again. Mayby may brain is unconscious is telling me that even this guy is going to leave and because of this im not letting my self getting really in love with him.

    My tooughts are like yours

    Is he right for me?

    Do i love him?

    Do i really wants to spend my life with him?

    why dont i feel butterflys i my stomach all the time?

    Am i just telling my self that my feelings of ocd is falce when the reason is that i dont love im?

    and so on...

    Im also is looking for signs if i love hem or not.This could be like looking att a photo of him because im want to feel what my feelings are. Im also can look att im now and than just because im looking for sings of what my feelings are. This is absolutely insane!

    Im so afraid im going to destroy this relationship and discover that i do love him when i left him and he met some other girl. Im getting worrid with the thought that he is leaving me and the thought of seeing him with another girl is killing me! Despite this the awfall feeling of not being in love is nagging my brain several hours a day. Sometimes i just wana give up because im so tierd to feeling so bad that i does. Im wonder if this is getting over sometime or if im going to live with this feeling all my life.

    This is my experience...i hope that i mayby have helpt you a little=). GOOD LUCK AND KEEP FIGHTING!! Think about that its often your ocd that thinks your not love him and not you!

  8. #38

    Re: Relationship OCD?

    Hi - I have been married nearly 40 years but have recurring relationship OCD (can't think of any other way to describe it but it's out there on the internet, mainly from the US). I sometimes feel very panicky that I might not really love my husband. It sounds crazy but things can trigger it (and then after a while I feel OK again!) - usually comparing us to other couples we know (comparing is another obsession of mine!) or seeing something on television. We have talked about it loads and he tries to reassure me, but as with all obsessions the reassurance only works for a limited time before a 'what-if?' emerges. He's a lovely man - honest, totally trustworthy, kind, and the only person I can truly be myself with, who loves me unconditionally, and we share life philosophy, political views and ideals, as well as trips to theatre, countryside, walks etc. Because I am often anxious and depressed (I have a diagnosis of Borderline PD too) I get irritable and snappy and then feel terribly guilty about it and worry that that means I can't feel love. There are things we don't share - he isn't romantic and isn't that interested in clothes, for instance - and while that doesn't bother me much of the time, now and then it does, and then I worry that 'if I am so anxious about things like that I don't really love him'..... He puts up with a lot from me - I am not easy to live with though I do try to recognise my faults and we talk a lot. My depression and anxiety mean that I often don't feel happy or content and I feel so guilty about that and wonder if it's my marriage at fault that's causing it - even though I had issues of self esteem from my teens and have never felt OK about myself. I have such a lot to be thankful for but I wish I could shake this recurring anxiety - one of several obsessive worries! We've come through a lot of hard times bringing up two children, one of whom had a rare disability and mental health problems and I was hoping that once they were independent and we had more time to ourselves, I would feel better and more relaxed. The opposite has happened - I feel worse, more anxious, depressed and guilty and full of self loathing. I could go on, but I think that's enough for now - would welcome any constructive thoughts or contact with anyone who's been through anything similar.
    -

  9. #39

    Re: Relationship OCD?

    I've just read this thread and am wondering if it's what I am going through. just over 4 months ago I was perfectly happy. I have been with my husband for 9 years, never EVER thought about leaving him. In fact have always considered myself really lucky to have such an amazing man and relationship. 4 months ago I fell into a bout of PD and Depression, alongside that I had reaccuring obsessive thoughts/anxiety about children, wether I wanted them or not when I never really have. I almost developed a phobic response to anything child related..even the word family made me get knots in my stomach. During this deeply depressed and anxious time a thought popped into my head 'what if you don't love your husband?' since then it has grown into a monster. It was only a few days previously that I was telling my therapist how lucky I was to have him and talking about our plans together. I've tried to rationalise it to myself over and over by telling myself it's just a thought. My brain has gone through every scenerio of us breaking up which has increased my anxiety further. I tell myself that it's NOT going to happen so deal with it but it doesn't go away.. it's like a constant fight in my brain. I felt so low at how one little thought has potentially ruined my perfect life that I have even thought about taking it. I hate the fact that 4 months ago I looked at him with complete admiration and love and now I just feel uncomfortable, low, anxious and full of doubt. It can't be real but it feels so awfull. Incidently the child related anxiety has eased..i'm hanging in there in the hope that with the right meds, and time etc... that this will too

Page 4 of 4 FirstFirst ... 234

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Similar Threads

  1. Relationship problems, please help!
    By Phil in forum General Anxiety / Generalised anxiety disorder (GAD)
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 26-08-09, 10:27
  2. adhd and my relationship
    By Andyh in forum Social Anxiety
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 13-12-06, 06:39
  3. relationship anxiety
    By MissBehavin in forum General Anxiety / Generalised anxiety disorder (GAD)
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 12-10-06, 07:51
  4. Relationship is over
    By heths in forum Depression from Panic/Anxiety
    Replies: 15
    Last Post: 16-04-06, 11:16
  5. Having a relationship!
    By smiler in forum Introduce Yourself
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 20-04-05, 11:28

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •