Feeling really low and empty

[verityb]

Hi there,

I'm going through a bad patch with my anxiety/depression and struggling to see how things are going to get better.

It all started when my husband and I got a puppy. We had talked about it for a long time and although it was causing me some anxiety I felt I could cope with it.

Well turns out I really couldn't,for 3 weeks I was having panic attacks and couldn't work and in the end we had to make the hardest desicion of my life to rehome him. (He has gone to a wonderful home and family.)

Although this has alleviated my panic I just feel completely empty and so down. I feel like I failed and to me having a dog would lead to a natural progression towards me considering having a baby. I know this might seem a little random but I felt like if I conquered the dog anxiety then I could see myself handling the baby anxiety.

So now I just feel like although my life has gone back to normal (something I would plead with my husband that I wanted during my anxiety attacks) I've lost that hope or contentment of thinking what I could possibly add to my life in the future. I feel so listless and can't feel any happiness.

I have a lovely home, a wonderful husband and two lovely step children but I can't seem to feel happy right now and I'm so desperate to feel good again. I feel like before the puppy I was so happy and content and now I wonder if I ever will feel that way again. I have this feeling like something is dragging me down in my body.

Has anyone else been in a similar situation and made it through?
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

[fishman65]

Hi Verity, it is so disheartening when anxiety jumps on us and compromises plans or objectives in life. In many ways we are in thrall to it's influence, I personally believe my own life would have taken a different course without anxiety and I'm sure you can identify with that.

Please don't feel like you have failed with the puppy, easy for me to say I know. At least he has been re-homed but I understand how this might be felt as a rehearsal for having a baby. I became a father way back in 1999, it was tough I will say but the rewards are huge. Do you have support in your immediate and extended family? This would be helpful for you if you decided to start a family, not to mention awareness and understanding of your anxiety from those people. I think you would surprise yourself.

Lastly, if you didn't take the plunge of becoming a parent then this wouldn't define you because many couples choose not to have children for many reasons. You would not be a failure by any means, I hope you can take heart from that. Look after yourself.

[verityb]

Thank you fishman65 for your lovely reply. It really helped me not feel so alone.
I'm still struggling on and find the morning really difficult. I don't know if anyone else finds this a difficult time and has any ways to feel better?

[Darksky]

Mornings are bad for plenty of people, myself included. It's to do with a spike in hormone levels. Tempting as it is to stay in bed, don't. Get up and keep busy. I cannot sit around in the morning because I will feel 100 times worse. So I always have something ready to do, even if it's just housework. After a couple of hours it wears off

[sarahblonde32]

Mornings are always worse for me, i sometimes struggle to function for ages in the morning.
Have you tried any meds,? Or something like Kalms?
What was it about the puppy that caused anxiety? Looking after it? Or worrying about it?
How about trying another pet, like a rabbit or cat first?
You're not alone, pets and kids are stressful but millions of people do it....
What about hobbies? Do you have anything to keep youre mind occupied?

[biscuitlover]

Mornings are an awful time for me too. I’m glad there is a biological reason .

I’m not sure what strategies to use myself but my husband always says to get up and not lay in bed thinking. Focus on making breakfast ? Drinking herbal tea ?

As far as having a baby, I had a baby and I’ve had anxiety for the whole of my life. I won’t lie it’s so hard but sometimes she’s the reason I focus on getting better. Also pregnancy hormones worked wonders for me and I was the calmest person !! I would try to get in a better place before trying and research what mental health support would be available if you need it through pregnancy x