Moving areas - Coping with change and keeping everyone happy

[elik]

Hi, its me again - I would greatly appreciate some advice.

I am near enough hyperventilating at the future prospect of how I am going to keep friends happy when I move three hours away in two weeks. For instance, whether I come back to see one or two people in a couple of months, that the others will get upset they didn't get priority, etc. All I want to do is cut ties and run. I just want all of them to not care that much (honestly and truly) so that I have to make the effort for them to not be that bothered. I just can't even stomach the thought of trying to stretch myself always and not enjoy it just as I don't now. I don't want to carry on doing things out of moral value and because I 'should'. I want to enjoy these encounters and be free and myself. Everything I do is a representation of guilt and fear of not keeping someone happy - Something I am beginning to resent people for which isn't there fault, its my issue. Saying that, a few people in my life definitely take advantage of the fact I am easy to mould and get to do things. I feel so guilty that of course I have a couple of close friends which I am keen to stay in touch with more than my other close friends just because of where I am in my life and what I want to be doing but I feel I can't even do this as I will upset the others so I will plod along. I don't want to be difficult, I am not difficult - but I am getting older and I want to have a say in my life and I want to live it freely and not monitor and schedule everything in my mind so that everyone is ok with me. My only existence seems to be ensuring that my actions have no negative consequence on anyone but its so so so exhausting and makes me want to opt out, but I continue fighting the battle to 'enjoy' time with people. I am just so scared that when I move this won't lessen with a new positive start but accentuate for pressures to travel far and wide and cram people in and spend copious amounts of money. You probably catch my drift and yes I do ruminate drastically and I know this isn't all sensical but I am so fused with these ideas that I can't break free.

Please offer any tips you may have, I really am desperate for some guidance.

Thank you very much.

[Darksky]

If you're moving three hours away, that's one heck of a distance. Will they necessarily expect you to keep dashing back to visit. Friends of mine have moved...less than that and I never see them now. It's ok, we email and there's always Skype.
Maybe if you have to come back can't you arrange a get together somewhere. A gastropub or similar, where the whole lot can come for a catch up and if everyone's invited no one can get the hump.