Illness of mono led to awful anxiety..I feel trapped in it

[JennaMehl5]

On December 1st I fell sick with what I thought was just a weekend virus, but it led to a ton of other symptoms like swollen upper eyelids, fevers, sore muscles, exhaustion and the worst sore throat I ever had. I went to 2 urgent cares and tested negative for strep throat. Finally after 3 weeks I went to the er and tested positive for strep. I took 10 days of antibiotics but still had some pain in my throat so I went back and they tried to just put me on more but I said no. 2 days later I went to another urgent care and explained my whole story to a new dr and he said "it sounds like youve had mono" did the rapid test and it was positive. Explained why I'd felt so awful for 5 weeks. Mono is so much more complex than I realized, more than being tired. I joined a group for people recovering from it and realized how many months it drags on and how debilitating it is and how it causes horrible anxiety and insomnia which I am now facing. It stemmed from the phase of it that brings on horrible night sweats which are a huge trigger for me. I went thru anxiety night sweats as a teen and thanks to Google became so paranoid of them meaning serious illness. I was 19 and I went thru weeks of awful health anxiety similar to this. So now I am not waking up drenched anymore like I was 3 weeks ago when the mono was in its very active phase but it led to this awful anxiety where I am having nightmares and I am afraid to go to bed. Looking at my bedroom is giving me anxiety. I wake an hour after I fall asleep every night and I am so hot I feel like I'm on fire. Not too sweaty maybe just my chest. Then I get super anxious and I lay awake having horrible anxiety with my stomach gurgling and in knots and I physically shiver and feel nauseas. I fully believe all this has stemmed from not knowing why I was so sick and then I found out I had mono but by then I was convinced it was something else more serious and I am stuck in this rut of awful thoughts and I constantly feel dread. I'm nervous driving to work. I'm scared to be home alone. I'm scared of going to sleep. I found a therapist and start on Tues and my doc just called me in some ativan I have to go pick up tomorrow. I'm just feeling so sick and scared and I need to know it's going to get better

[ErinKC]

I'm so sorry you're going through this. It would be difficult for anyone, regardless of anxiety. It also sounds a bit like some of your anxiety is stemming from some post traumatic stress caused by your previous anxiety. This happens to me a lot. I had horrible post-partum anxiety, which caused my health anxiety. Now, if something happens - I get sick or something - I almost talk myself into being anxious about it because my subconscious is convinced I must be because of the anxiety I had before. I'll start out not worried about something and then sabotage myself into becoming anxious.

You're comparing what's happening now to how things were before. But, this time you have a real diagnosis and a concrete reason for your symptoms. It's ridiculous that it took doctors this long to diagnose you, but now that you have been you can turn to fighting mode and start healing.

"I joined a group for people recovering from it and realized how many months it drags on and how debilitating it is and how it causes horrible anxiety and insomnia" <-- learning that definitely didn't help.

Just keep trying to tell yourself that you don't have to be anxious about this. You will get better. Your doctors diagnosed you. You're not 19 again and it's not the same as before.

I'm so glad you found a therapist and the Ativan should help. It has helped me a lot in the past to break out of the spiral.

[nomorepanic]

Hi

This is just a courtesy reply to let you know that your thread was merged with another of your threads.

Please when posting on similar topics add it onto your previous post rather than starting a new one.

It is nothing personal it is just to make it easier for people to follow your story and to give you advice as a whole.