Hi guys!

I know I’ve been on here a couple times but I need some peace of mind. Like I said in a previous post I’m terrified of having bipolar disorder. Lately, I went through a week period of depression bombarded with messed up intrusive thoughts and since Thursday I have been having this weird surge of energy. Like I can’t sit down. I’m freaking out. I have such a fear of losing my mind that I literally think I’m going to end up losing my mind. I started taking buspar two days ago and it makes me feel reckless and weird. I have convinced myself that I’m hypomanic, however I thought in order to be hypomanic or manic you had to lose several hours of sleep or don’t sleep at all. I have been getting less sleep due to anxiety but I slept 8 hours last night. Yesterday I thought it best to take a semester off school because my anxiety is through the roof. After doing this, I was like oh my god did I do this because I’m manic and making risky decisions. Like I have convinced myself I’m going to go into full blown mania. I’m terrified and I don’t see my therapist until Wednesday.

Also I have been feeling very apathetic. Like I go through states that I don’t care about dropping out of school and I don’t feeel like doing anything. I don’t know guys I’m scared.

Thanks,
Dylan