My mind is a crazy place to be. I have not had breast worries in a long while, but now that I have to go back to the gyne for an ovarian cyst, I just realized that my breasts have not been checked for years. I avoided doing the self-exam because I know how obsessive I could be, and thought that it would be best in my case (anxiety is not managed) to have a doctor do it. I am 28, which I suppose is young, and I did check for physical changes without palpating - that's as far as I could go. And yet, without checking for lumps, I now feel myself spiraling.

I'm not sure what I want to achieve with posting this... maybe just let it out? Have someone tell me how they went through this and came out better? A virtual hug? I don't generally consider myself to be superstitious but when it comes to HA I could be. I'm fearful that when I go to the doctor, she'll find something if I don't worry (and I am aware that it is stupid). I also remember that my puppy accidentally punctured my nipple some months ago and wonder if it could lead to something worse. Honestly, I don't know how it is to be normal anymore, and me living alone right now is just making freaking out easier than before. My mind is hyperactive, I am tired, scared and lonely. I just don't want to be like this anymore.