Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 12

Thread: Anxiety, Depression & Delayed Grief

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Posts
    192

    Anxiety, Depression & Delayed Grief

    Hi All

    Two months ago my anxiety went through the roof and I started to cry at the drop of a hat. The thing in my mind when I was crying was my Sister, who died suddenly 2 and half years ago. I went to the doctors who told me to go up on my AD's a little and signed me off work until middle of February.

    I had a bad bout of anxiety and depression about 7 years ago and really thought that those feelings where behind me. Yes, I am a nervous slightly anxious person most of the time and prone to some flat days but this gut wrenching, surreal, low, shaky, anxious depression of which I never wanted to go through again has reared its ugly head.

    I look back and realise that although I had the odd cry here and there I never really broke my heart, so on top of a busy build up to a Christmas holiday abroad with family and a heavy workload the loss of my Sister had finally hit me.

    I have cried everyday for the last 2 months and I have severe morning anxiety including nausea and dry heaving, this calms a little by the evening and thankfully sleep has been kind to me.

    I try to do little bits in the day but I seem to be more anxious now than I was a month ago with regard to not wanting to be with people or go to many places for any length of time.

    I suppose by posting this I would like experiences of anxious depression and what helps you and for anyone to get in touch who has had delayed/complicated grief.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Posts
    192

    Re: Anxiety, Depression & Delayed Grief

    Anyone have any experience with delayed grief causing anxiety.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2016
    Posts
    1,973

    Re: Anxiety, Depression & Delayed Grief

    Hi , it was a long time ago for me but after my dad died I didn't really grieve because of problems and secrets he left behind , it was about six months later at Christmas it finally hit me and decided to try antidepressants on the doctors advice , it ended up making me much worse and I pretty much had a breakdown, ok did have a breakdown , that was nearly twenty years ago and I did get better without help or drugs , grief doesn't have a time limit or rules , we all react differently to loss and losing someone close does make you think of your own mortality.
    It will pass , take care .

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Posts
    1,485

    Re: Anxiety, Depression & Delayed Grief

    Hey purple pie, I'm sorry you're going through this difficult time.

    I have a chronic illness so using emotional energy makes me ill. Crying makes me more exhausted - less able to think and walk. Because of this, when my grandma died, I didn't let myself cry much. I distracted myself. For months afterwards when I could, I did a little ceremony by myself to mark an anniversary of death, and thought about her, and looked at her pictures, in order to let myself grieve. I think the pain drew out more because I didn't process everything all at once.

    My brother who I am estranged from got diagnosed with cancer this week. I really need him to not die so that we can mend our relationship properly, and not in a rush against time.
    I believe that if he does die, I will get a lot more ill, even if I try to manage my grief into smaller doses.
    I am also afraid that my mental health will not be able to withstand it. I am afraid that I will die from suicide if he dies. That would not be great for my youngest brother and our parents.

    I'm really sorry that your sister died suddenly. I am sorry for the effect it has had on you. They say that your emotions come when you are ready to have them. Maybe you're grieving now because you are in a safe enough position to confront the pain.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Apr 2003
    Location
    , , United Kingdom.
    Posts
    46,966

    Re: Anxiety, Depression & Delayed Grief

    I would go for some counselling - it helped me
    __________________
    Nicola

    “Don't be afraid of death; be afraid of an unlived life. You don't have to live forever, you just have to live.” - Natalie Babbitt

    Please help keep NMP running and donate to the running costs: http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/donate




  6. #6
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    , , United Kingdom.
    Posts
    3,893

    Re: Anxiety, Depression & Delayed Grief

    I'm so sorry for your loss purplepie, and for both of you Buster and Lior. Also your very distressing news Lior.

    I think grief often comes out when it's ready. It can also take the form of depression which happened with me in the late 90s/2000. Between 1995 and 2000 I lost a close aunt, mother, a brother and step-mother while becoming a father. I'm not sure how I stayed sane or if even I did but I'm still here.

    Purplepie, the not wanting to go to places or be around people are classic symptoms of depression. I would hazard a guess it's associated with your bereavement. As Buster says, grief is unpredictable and follows different patterns from person to person. However, you will get through this, please believe that and I hope you can find some peace.
    __________________
    'It was a wedding ring, destined to be found in a cheap hotel, lost in a kitchen sink, or thrown in a wishing well' - Marillion, Clutching at Straws, 1987

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Posts
    192

    Re: Anxiety, Depression & Delayed Grief

    Thanks everyone for your input.
    Lior - it is very difficult when relationships are strained, so I hope that you get to reconcile properly with your brother regardless of if the worst happens or not. I do believe that you are right in that I am in a safe place to grieve. As I am prone to anxiety with depression I think it has combined together with the grief and so it is hard to know what is grief and what is me and A&D. There are always people here for you Lior, NMP has helped me lots over the past 7 years.

    NMP - I have had a few sessions of counselling (I am a counsellor but when its you, your rationality goes out of the window) and it is helping to look at my Sisters death, but I have postponed it for a couple of weeks as I feel too anxious and low and not quite stable enough to work on the grief yet. I am hoping my upped meds can offer a crutch in order to help me work through it.

    Thank you fishman and buster for your kind words, I know it will pass, it is just hard when your in the throes of it with a predisposition for emotional instability and panic.

    This forum has been a godsend.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Posts
    1,485

    Re: Anxiety, Depression & Delayed Grief

    I really hear you purplepie. I have been wondering what mentally healthy people are like when they receive bad news - do they lose sleep, get really tense, worry a lot? I suppose they do, but what's the normal range?

    I have put in effort into staying calm. I was briefly concerned that I'm MORE calm than a normally healthy person would be, and if that makes me unfeeling. But if I don't put in effort into staying calm, perhaps I will spiral, and I just can't be dealing with that right now. There were a few days where I thought I needed meds to deal with the news but I'm ok right now. It's amazing how much of a difference a few days can make.
    I guess, I may have a similar situation to you at some point down the line, if I am not well enough to process things while they're happening.

    Yes, I joined NMP 10 years ago certainly helped me through some dark times. Haven't been around in a while because I've been much better mentally, though not physically unfortunately, so I'm on another forum relevant to my chronic illness. I think NMP was the first forum that I joined, and felt a sense of community in

    Good luck on the meds, I hope you can get back to the counselling when you are ready.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Feb 2019
    Posts
    84

    Re: Anxiety, Depression & Delayed Grief

    I’m in the same place right now. My dad died in 2017, from a very aggressive cancer and at a relatively young age. For the first year or so after he died, I was just adjusting and recalibration, but last summer a switch seemed to flip in my brain, and I became convinced that I’m going to get a similarly aggressive and advanced cancer at a young ago. Over the last 8 months, I’ve gone into a string of meltdowns, convincing myself that I have breast cancer, endometrial cancer, lymphoma, melanoma etc. Right now I’m battling a fear of both lung and bowel cancer, because I found blood flecks in both saliva and stool.

    My therapist calls this ‘catastrophising’. She suggested that jumping to the worst possible conclusion is actually a form of defence mechanism, oddly enough, because it offers a sense of certainty and therefore control. For those of us who struggle with uncertainty, ambiguity and control issues, leaping to the worst case scenario puts us in a place where we can feel ‘certain’, because it can’t get any worse.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Posts
    192

    Re: Anxiety, Depression & Delayed Grief

    I hear what you are saying catlady1. Our mind tries to make sense of what has happened but at the same time it can be your own worst enemy. Because of the way I feel at the moment with anxiety, I worry that other members of my family will go in and equally sudden way and I will be completely unable to cope.

    It is catastrophising but when nerves are in a sensitive state then everything is magnified and what normally we would't pay any mind to, becomes huge. Defence mechanisms serve to protect us in the beginning and we do them subconsciously such as going into shock and denial when a trauma occurs (what I did when I lost my Sister), they stop serving us when they start to bring anxiety.

    How are you feeling Lior?

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Similar Threads

  1. Grief and anxiety
    By jadedreams in forum General Anxiety / Generalised anxiety disorder (GAD)
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 01-06-17, 18:52
  2. Struggling with Grief and Anxiety
    By Carnation in forum General Anxiety / Generalised anxiety disorder (GAD)
    Replies: 23
    Last Post: 08-05-17, 23:37
  3. Does anxiety caused by grief go away?
    By BrookeM in forum General Anxiety / Generalised anxiety disorder (GAD)
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 02-05-17, 10:24
  4. Delayed Grief After Anti-d's
    By Crunchiehair in forum Depression from Panic/Anxiety
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 23-03-14, 14:04
  5. delayed anxiety pains in chest?
    By camomile in forum Health Anxiety
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 02-07-08, 15:05

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •