Reaching my limit

[ScottC2105]

A week ago last Sunday i went from coping to out of control in one evening. I started having constant panic attacks and that lasted for 2 or 3 days. On Tuesday night I started my meds (Citalopram 20mg) and they was giving me a lot of suicidal thoughts, migraines, shivers the lot you name it I had it.

Anyway the following day I went to the hospital with my dad for a check-up on him and I didn't even get out the door and I started having a panic attack just like that and I was so embarrassed and ashamed as it lasted for quiet a while (while I was at the hospital) and since then I haven't been out as I'm scared to.

On Thursday I stopped the meds as directed by my CPN and she was supposed to call me on Monday but didn't bother to and while all this has been going on I have got very low and started self harming tonight (slashing my left arm with a knife) and I have spoken to a few friends who all say I need professional help and fast.

I have spoken to my family who cannot seem to suggest anything or just don't care, I have spoken to my CPN who didn't bother to call back on Monday and my GP won't talk to me unless I call him myself and go alone which with social anxiety I cannot do and I am going down hill AND FAST!

I don't know what to do and was wondering if anyone can help. Thanks.

[groovygranny]

Hello Scott,

I hope you don't mind but I've moved your thread from Misc to Panic Attacks in the hope you may get more responses.

Although I can't really comment on your self-harming as I am ill-equipped to do so - I'd like to offer at least my support for you at this time.

Maybe there was a good reason why your CPN didn't contact you on Monday. Workload, pressure, other pressing matters.......or maybe she just did forget. It happens. But it's natural you think as you do because of how you're feeling right now.

Would your GP chat to you on the phone, rather than you go to the surgery? Mine told me to ring him every day at the same time so he could ascertain where I was each day. I remember watching the clock as the minutes ticked slowly by - just willing time to go faster.

I have suffered, and still do to some extent, from social anxiety but the only way to overcome this is to face it head on. It's not easy by any means. Would you be able to go to your GP accompanied by someone who would then sit in the waiting room until you had finished?

I notice that you still managed to stay in the hospital with your dad even though you were suffering so much - that has to be a positive you know.

Yes, you probably do need professional help - but until you move to get responses from the necessary channels you are still going to be in the same circumstances.

I'm not sure if this has helped at all very much - and I know I can't help over the self harm, but I'm sure somebody will respond to this soon.

big hugs to you

[ScottC2105]

groovygranny, thanks for the info and the thread move. I've spoken to my mom tonight and she is going to try and help me tomorrow bless her.

I'll see how things go and let you know.

[groovygranny]

Great news Scott!

I'm so glad.

Yep, be good to know how it goes.

[kazzie]

Well done Scotty

Good post and Im sorry I couldent help!!!

But got no knowledge of self harm just panic etc!!!

Just hang in there peeps will help I promise dad!!

Luvs Ya

Kaz x x x

[ScottC2105]

Shame I've just done it again anit it :(. I feel so down lately. I'll keep in touch and Kazzie... get to bed .

[ScottC2105]

I got hold of my CPN's secretary today and I asked for my CPN but she was busy and her secretary told me my CPN would call me back. She never did. I have been waiting/trying since Monday to get a hold of her and I am getting worse as days go by. She may of been busy I do not know but I really have to speak to her.

I have yet again done the self harm game tonight which I am ashamed about but I did say I would update you all and the truth is I don't think anyone gives a dam any more.

[Lindalou64]

Oh Scott I Care And I Dont Even Know You.im Sure Many Care........having This Panic Crap Is Depressing I Know But You Have To Hang In There And Stay Positive And When You Call Your Cpn You Tell Them That Its An Emergency....dont Take No For An Answer.......try And Stay Positive........just Know This Scott This Shall Pass It Always Does........i Wish Ya The Best........linda Xx

[AndrewG]

Hi Scott, you can count me in too, I care what happens to you also, it will pass, Please try to stay strong and not harm yourself I know it's dificult but please stop. You are an important part of life and you can overcome what you are going through.

Hang in there Bud

Andrew

[ScottC2105]

I have no purpose in life. Everyone I have tried to get to help me is now avoiding me so I honestly don't care any more. Why should I bother ?