Bowel Changes - Cannot Stop Crying - Please Help

[BlueIris]

Seems likely, yes. When I have a really bad panic attack I can feel like I'm burning up in midwinter, or sit shivering on the hottest day of the year.

Be patient with yourself, and let your body recover.

[glittery]

I went to emergency department the other day for my anxiety, and they referred me to a psychologist. Called them today and got to know that it takes 6 to 9 months for an appointment. 6 TO 9 MONTHS.

On the other hand, my anxiety keeps getting our of control.

1) Got two small boils in my vaginal area = must be vaginal cancer (but looks like boils, and i most probably dont have hpv or hiv to have them)
2) White areas and itching in vulva = lichen planus or some sort of vulva cancer (they got better with an yeast infection tablet, and again I don't have hpv or hiv to have them)
3) Had 1 day of spotting before period = must be abnormal vaginal bleeding or i might have some sort of cancer
4) Had period the day next = still thought it might be some abnormal vaginal bleeding and kept worrying that what if it never stops. (howe er, it is about to stop soon)
5) Had vomitting and headache today = must be some sort of cancer again (but mom got food poisoning as well, and it has gone away now)
6) Current worry = perineal and anal fissure has come back again.

I even worry if my pee has a slight bubble or would worry if my period's blood is also slipped to my anal area.

And googling is helping nothing at all.

Keep worrying about anal cancer or vulva cancer even though i most probably dont have hpv or hiv (i was never sexually active). Keep worrying about leukemia or lymphoma even though CBC came out normal.

Then i worry about having IBD or something worse even tho calprotectin test came out normal.

If I sweat I think i have cancer, if i feel cold I think I have cancer.

And when I have nothing to worry about, I worry about the following:
- what if there is a terrorist attack
- what if there is a plane accident
- what if SOMETHING goes wrong and ruins my life
- what if my mom or brother or bf or anyone has cancer or die
- why am i loser
- body image issues
- etc

Can anyone please help me?

I cant believe i have to wait 6 to 9 months to get professional help

[BlueIris]

It's a horrible situation, but until your referral comes through, maybe you could have a look at some of the self help resources here?

[glittery]

are there self help resources on this website?

Also, how can i get rid of this "something must go wrong" or "something bad will happen" feeling? I am sick of this feeling, and worried I will burst out if I continue being this way. I feel suffocated in my own body and mind.

And strangely i keep getting symptoms that I read about. 🙄

[Fishmanpa]

are there self help resources on this website?

See the link in my signature.

As far as the symptoms go, not reading about them is a no brainer. Its like asking why your hand is burning when you're holding it over a flame

Positive thoughts

[glittery]

Thanks Fishmanpa,

The website seems great. I might print them out soon.

I know I should not ask for reassurance, but as you may know i had a blood test and stool test. Doctor back then told me that he will be doing a stool test to check for "inflammation and infection inside your colon." He didnt say calprotectin test.

I assumed it however because it is the most common one for checking inflammation.

All i know is that the results came out normal.

My hospital is a well known one. I heard they take tests very seriously and have a lot of departments/lab to check every sample, so I am assuming they must have done quite a lot of tests on it.

I was worried before that I provided them the wrong phone number, but last time I went (for my anxiety), and they told me my number is correct.

I guess now my mind is telling me "what if he did not so a calprotectin test?"

but he said "the stool test will be used to check for inflammation and infection inside your colon, or somewhere in your stomach higher up."

so I guess it should be safe to assume that it was a calprotectin test

[Fishmanpa]

Thanks Fishmanpa,

The website seems great. I might print them out soon.

No time like the present

Positive thoughts

[glittery]

😂😂 yes probably i should print them out asap. The printer at home isnt working, so have to go to some store 10 mins away tomorrow.

You are very funny Fishmanpa, and always make me laugh despite the anxiety.

God bless!

[MrsEd]

Sounds like thrush to me. Also could the boil be ingrowing hairs? Sometimes that happens

[glittery]

Hi MrsEd,

the thrush has almost gone away (altho i am worried it will come back). One of the boils has gone away, and another boil is still there but decreasing in size.

It could be ingrown hair because it is on my labia majora or near the pubic region.