Abnormal cells diary...

[EmmerLooeez]

You're probably right Scass. I slept okay last night apart from I kept waking up with a sharp pain under my right rib, I couldn't lay on that side either. Today my arms keep going goosebumpy and look a little mottled. Is this anxiety?

I think my brain zaps are migraine related. It's not a terrible one but when I stand up I definitely feel that migraine pulsing pain in the top of my head.

This whole abnormal cell thing has sent my health anxiety into overdrive. I told my husband last night that I wanted to go into a walk in centre but he doesn't think we should and he's probably right. I definitely don't feel right. It's really disconcerting because I have that feeling like I have a temp, feel a bit shivery and my hands are cold. But I don't have a temp.

I'm becoming really mentally unwell again aren't I :( I haven't been to therapy this week either. I wonder if that has made it worse.

Rationally I think I probably have a bit of a virus and I'm getting overanxious about it and causing extra symptoms? I'm so scared right now it's unreal. I always find when I'm low/really anxious the flashbacks and memories etc come back. I'm struggling to cope. Thankfully I'm not working too much next week. 18 hours and one night shift. Xx

[BlueIris]

Not sure what to say, other that I'm thinking of you. My inbox is open any time you want to chat.

[Scass]

So sometimes when my anxiety is really bad I breathe badly - hyperventilate - and the next day I can get an ache in my chest. Does this sound similar?

It’s very possible that you have a virus, the chills would give you goosebumps probably.

I’m sorry that you’re feeling like this, it is SO hard and you are doing really well. You just need to hang on in there a bit longer. Take every minute/hour/day as it comes. Find something that helps & distracts, and do it again and again.

We are here. Sending hugs x


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[pulisa]

To me it sounds as if you have anxiety symptoms, Emma and quite naturally so. You are scanning your body for every ache and pain. You have no temperature-you are in anxiety overdrive but not mentally unwell. You are aware of what is happening and why this is happening. Maybe try to accept it as anxiety and nothing else?

Sunday will be a "pressure off" day with no threat of news. Let your husband take the strain of family life and maybe catch up on some sleep? It will help to pass the hours which is what you want xx

[EmmerLooeez]

Guys thank you so much for your replies. I've never had chest pain from hyperventilating before Scass, but thank you for giving me another explanation. You don't know what it means to me that you're still replying to my thread. I don't feel alone in this and I'm so grateful for it.

I've been playing games on my phone to distract myself. I'm laid in bed ATM, I actually feel pretty okay if I'm laid down. It's just when I try to walk.

Pulisa, thank you for replying. Yeah I think most of this is anxiety. I'm trying to rationalise now. I definitely have a migraine and I get those when starting my period. So it would make sense that instead of being infection bleeding, the procedure just threw my period out of whack a little and it arrived 3 or 4 days early. I usually don't feel this unwell with them but it's probably a likely cause right? If I move my head or eyes to the side my head pounds.

The rib pain came back again earlier but has eased off again now and I'm even laid on that side (although I wonder if this is the codeine lol). I do care work so perhaps when transferring someone yesterday I pulled something, a muscle near my ribs idk.

My husband works on Sundays but I will not have results to worry about. So that should be okay. with any luck this headache etc will be gone by the morning xxx

[EmmerLooeez]

And thank you Iris <3 I didn't see your reply. Thanks so much xxxx

[O_O]

You're doing amazing, Emma. And I honestly think that these symptoms you're having at the moment are anxiety. I had similar symptoms when I thought I was dying and I couldn't believe it was anxiety because it felt so real and I'd never had any physical symptoms like that before. But that's all it was. The chest pain, the shortness of breath, everything. I thought I was developing angina due to blood loss!! Even now I still get weird uterine contractions in the middle of the night sometimes, which is just a hangup from all the stuff that came before. It is amazing what anxiety can do.

I'm sure you'll feel like this to some extent until you get your results - but hopefully it'll get easier and easier the more time that passes and the higher the likelihood of a clear result becomes. Like you say, if you don't hear anything in the next week or so then that probably means you aren't high priority because there's no bad news! But even if you hear sooner it's not necessarily bad news - so don't have a heart attack if you do see that letter.

Everyone on this forum who knows you is hoping against hope for good news for you. I know that doesn't really help in the practical sense but a lot of people have your back xx

[EmmerLooeez]

Aw Jenny thank you so much for that reply. I'm on day 13 now and still no news so I'm starting to believe I'm going to be okay! I know I'll still be anxious until the letter arrives, but I'm definitely doing better than I was. I've only checked my voicemail once today lol. The mail will have been delivered once I'm home too.

I've been really unwell over the weekend so I've got a doctor's appointment for this afternoon. Got an awful migraine, dizziness and fever but with codeine and paracetamol my temp is alright so I'm at work today.

It's annoying because my HA is latching onto how unwell I am ATM although I'm sure it's nothing terrible. It's nice in a way as it's taken my worry away from my cervix! Xxx

[BlueIris]

Hope you feel better soon - keep us posted, please?

[O_O]

Oh no, sounds like you have a virus maybe? :( Hope your appointment goes ok xx