Driving up and down a mountain

[joffy]

Hi, I recently made the major life change of moving abroad to Spain from the UK. I've been out there about a month now living in a mountain village about 20 minutes from the coast. I decided to start off living with my sister so that I could get used to being in a foreigh country living with somebody else (I'm single.)

The road up to our village is a 20km twisty mountain road with a sheer drop on one side. There are metal barriers most of the way up to the village but there are quite a few patches of road without barriers and it's a pretty scary drop. My sister has decided she wants to spend three weeks in England and I am to cat-sit whilst she is away. I agreed to this a few weeks ago and she leaves next week.

The thing is, I'm really scared of being on my own. I've had problems in the past with intrusive thoughts about doing myself harm. The thoughts have occurred for about 15 years so I know that they should mean nothing but for some reason I'm feeling very vulnerable this time as I'm going through a time of change and the mountain village does not really have enough distractions for me to keep my mind quiet while she is away and I don't really have that many close friends here yet.

I really want to be able to drive up and down the mountain as I know there are some incredible things waiting for me including the beach, coastal resorts and major cities. I don't want to isolate myself but I'm really scared of driving down the mountain in case I have a panic attack and lose control.

I know I should just do it, but it's easier said than done...ah, now that's off my chest.

[AndrewG]

Hi Joffy,

I know it's a really scary thing intrusive thoughts especially when you are on your own, as you've lived with these for so long I'm thinking its only really the mountain Road which is causing you greatest stress.

If you can do it the first few times then it will get easier and easier every time you do it. I worked on the cruise ships until one day I felt the strong urge to jump off, I remeber looking over the edge of the Railings on deck 7 and suddenly feeling really dizzy and disorientated. The next week I signed myself off the ship and boy do I miss it. The lesson that I learned at that point in my life was that my thoughts could rule my life if I let them.

I try not to give in now but I still do every now and again. I'm sure you'll be fine Joffy. You've done a very good thing moving abroad, it sure beats the u.k. anyhow. I always read, read and read some more when I feel the strange urges, or just paint and generally keep busy... that always helps me.

Speak soon

Andrew

Nanoo Nanoo ---- Shazbat

[joffy]

Thanks Andrew, I should know better by now than to dwell on this stuff but the village is so small, there is not a lot else to do. Just a matter of getting on and driving...it'll make me feel a lot better having done it.

[Lindalou64]

Hello Joffy,
Like Ya Said Im Sure Once You Start To Drive Down The Mountain You Will Start To Feel Better....just Do A Little At A Time Sounds Like You Know How It Goes.....wish Ya The Best..........linda