Hello there. Second post since I've been away for a while, working on getting my stuff back together after three, almost four years, of continuous worrying. I was fifteen when my health anxiety started to spike to unhealthy amounts of googling, appointment-seeking, panic attacks over things that were highly irrational, you name it.

I sat down and talked with a few people. My parents, boyfriend, my friends, they helped me get through some of the roughest times of my life when I should've been in my right mind rather than freaking out about things like ALS, rabies, skin cancer, whatever. Those are things so severe and I know that. I probably wouldn't be sitting here typing this post up for people to read.

One thing I'm worried about still is melanoma since it runs on my mother's side of the family. I recently had a skin biopsy and results haven't come back yet(since it was on Monday), but he didn't seem worried about it. Just said he would biopsy it and whatnot since the mole had gotten bigger over a certain amount of time(span of 3 years. My mind says it's just from getting older/growing/skin stretching), and chances are that's definitely what it is. I feel great about things for once, and am looking forward to the rational side of me to slap me in the head and say, "Tobs, it's going to be fine. Don't worry!"

I also worried about rabies in the most irrational ways: the ways of the invisible bats. Never seen bats in my house, dad hasn't either, we'd know. Pull yourself together and get the help you need to treat that anxiety. It does crazy things, crazier than you'd expect.

I just want to say right now, even if you get one of these, chances are slim it's a melanoma. Don't worry about it. Go do things that help you relax, even if it's hard. I get it. You can get through this. I still am. I'm still finding out all the amazing things I can do.

Found people to talk to, got myself a therapist, and am hoping to continue to grt better. I'll stick around here as well and see if I can help others, but reassurance won't get you anywhere. It makes it hell of a lot worse when you get it, then your mind spirals out of control.

Stop googling. Stop thinking about the negatives. Sit down, relax, take deep breaths. Ride the ocean waves, it's going to be ok.