Re: What is Your Best Antidepressant Recommendation?
Sounds like you've had a dreadful time, and I'm sure there's nothing I can possibly say to make it any better.
However regarding the lorazepam/Ativan, certainly if you're having severe anxiety/panic attacks, it's probably best you keep taking it "when required" (or as directed) until you're through this period.
As others have said, there really isn't a "best" antidepressant. What your doctor prescribes ultimately comes down to their own personal choice and experience.
There are other medications out there, other than the SSRI's. Although your doctor would be best placed to advise on this, as they have you in front of them along with your medical history etc
Good luck & keep us updated
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Healthcare Professional with Health Anxiety
Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle