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Thread: Why no cure!?!

  1. #41
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    Re: Why no cure!?!

    I know I sound like a broken record but I feel I struggle more than others reading these posts.
    Colin, really, you have no idea what others go through, just because they don't publicise it on this forum doesn't mean it doesn't happen. This is a bit a theme with you, that 'nobody understands' 'I have it worse' etc. I think there are plenty here, and all over the country who have the anxiety from hell, however what I notice about you is that you seems absorbed in self-pity and not taking action. Maybe that is the difference you are seeing in others, not that they don't suffer the same or worse than you, but that they are making a lot of effort to overcome it and trying not to focus on it in the same way. I'm sorry if this sounds harsh, but really going over and over how bad it is and how much you are suffering won't help you overcome it. I'm pleased you have ordered the books, and hope they make a difference for you.
    Last edited by Carys; 21-05-19 at 20:45.

  2. #42
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    Re: Why no cure!?!

    Quote Originally Posted by Colin44 View Post

    I know I sound like a broken record but I feel I struggle more than others reading these posts.
    That's quite frankly a ridiculous thing to say.

    I went through a decade of literal hell before I found my way. My anxiety was so bad I didn't leave the house for more or less three years, ended up in hospital multiple times, lost a ton of weight, gained a ton of weight, at the same time i was fighting a 5 year legal battle that cost me £70k, nearly cost me my home, nearly cost me my relationship and stole the first 3-4 years of watching my first son grow up. At the same time as THAT my partner effectively died during the birth of our second child while I watched. I slid on her blood on the floor as I tried to get to her and she was wheeled away for an emergency operation and 4 years later I'm not effectively her carer for many reasons. Caring for her is so stressful that the NHS has agreed to fund therapy for ME on top of therapy for her. She is now has the most serious form of schizophrenia, called DID. I recovered from anxiety whilst all that was going on, because I had to. And raised two kids with her at the same time. And sold our home and moved, and built up a business because I was too afraid to go out and get a job.

    When I tell people how to recover from anxiety, it's because of my own massive, relentless struggle for 10 years, NOT because i found it easy.

    The reason I still come here is because I can't bare to think that people had to go through what I did. My own personal hell taught me compassion for other peoples struggles, but not for other people's self pity.

  3. #43
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    Dec 2012
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    Re: Why no cure!?!

    Didn't realise I came across this way. But at the same time, I maybe didn't explain my own personal mind hell I go through. If that sounds like self pity then I don't know how else to explain it?


    I'd put it down more to frustration and wanting to vent, typing it out helps me but clearly hacks others off.

  4. #44
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    Re: Why no cure!?!

    I do appreciate all the replies and suggestions, its pissing me off that after all this time when I end up in this position I still don't know personally how to break the cycle again.

    I just need reassurance and I know a hard stance is also required. Sorry for any offence I may have caused.

  5. #45
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    Re: Why no cure!?!

    Most of us here are living or have lived through our own personal anxiety hell. All we can do is offer advice as to what's worked for us.

    With all that said... wallowing doesn't help. Overthinking really doesn't help. Basic self-care is a really good start, though, and faking it til you make it can be a surprisingly good strategy. Panic attacks don't last forever no matter how bad they are, so you have to make good use of the time when you're not in the middle of one to practice your coping strategies.

  6. #46
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    Re: Why no cure!?!

    Quote Originally Posted by Colin44 View Post
    Didn't realise I came across this way. But at the same time, I maybe didn't explain my own personal mind hell I go through. If that sounds like self pity then I don't know how else to explain it?


    I'd put it down more to frustration and wanting to vent, typing it out helps me but clearly hacks others off.
    By all means vent, but don't assume you have it worse than others, because I guarantee you that ain't the case almost ALL the time.

    Several people are trying to help you in this thread, some of them (myself included) with specific advice about going through exactly the same thing. Perhaps you could acknowledge what they've said and talk about what you've tried or what you're going to try instead of just using it to vent frustration.

    BlueIris is correct as well, you're wallowing and it doesn't help. I know, I wallowed years of my life away, but at some point you just have to get a grip and do the things you don't want to do and get used to doing them again.

    As I have mentioned here and in several other threads...if you fear exercise and a raised heart rate you simply have to do it anyway. There is literally no other way to beat this. If you have a panic attack doing it, so be it. Have the attack, dust yourself down, then do it again the next day.

  7. #47
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    Re: Why no cure!?!

    The thing is Colin, ankietyjoe and Blue have mentioned similar feelings to me, its not reassurance you need. The two posters above have given A star opinions, which you are fortunate to have, and you need to internalise their words. What you need is to start actually taking action and doing something based on the advice that has been given on this thread from March onwards. I can certainly assure you, without giving my life history, that I have been through periods of GA and HA anxiety, panic and mental illness that have neccessitated hositalisation. You won't be the worst and you won't be suffering most, neither will I for that matter, which is not saying that it isn't absolute hell. I said as your first post on this thread that there were ways to deal with panic attacks, yet, bemoaning your suffering 2 months later and 'how your wife doesn't understand' and 'you have it worse', and avoiding everything and anything will get you nowhere, really. You need to find some motivation to move beyond the 'this is hell and nobody gets it' and start reading and using the self-help.

    'You are not a victim of something outside your control' is a phrase that appears on page one of this thread, it is relevant to repeat it here.
    Last edited by Carys; 22-05-19 at 09:22.

  8. #48
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    Re: Why no cure!?!

    Quote Originally Posted by Colin44 View Post
    Didn't realise I came across this way. But at the same time, I maybe didn't explain my own personal mind hell I go through. If that sounds like self pity then I don't know how else to explain it?


    I'd put it down more to frustration and wanting to vent, typing it out helps me but clearly hacks others off.
    At least you can have a relationship I have had panic attacks since the age of 4 and I worked for 10 years which gave me severe panic attacks I am now 52 and have never had a relationship I just managed the best I could until I had a breakdown now I can't work I'm on disability and medication to stop me having panic attacks because if I have just one more it would finish me off for good.
    Last edited by Sandra1980; 23-05-19 at 10:58.

  9. #49
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    Re: Why no cure!?!

    Quote Originally Posted by Sandra1980 View Post
    At least you can have a relationship I have had panic attacks since the age of 4 and I worked for 10 years which gave me severe panic attacks I am now 52 and have never had a relationship I just managed the best I could until I had a breakdown now I can't work I'm on disability and medication to stop me having panic attacks because if I have just one more it would finish me off for good.
    That's sounds pretty bad, I wish you all the luck in the world.




    I had an attack kick in today and tried to use the advise given. I was at lunch after a walk and my HR felt high, did my best to ignore it but did excuse myself and went outside for 5 mins and counted to 100. Read the panic attack advise sheet from off here and it soon passed. Still not great having one and a couple of occasions I let my mind wander to the 'what if' scenarios but did my best to remember all advise given.

    Its not nice but at the same time I feel like that was a very small step not wallowing in self pity.

  10. #50
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    Re: Why no cure!?!

    Great going! Sometimes small steps are all we can manage, and that's still fine.

    My anxiety isn't a major problem for me these days, but after a long day at work I still find myself dreading the possibility of interaction with anybody else on the walk home, and I have to remind myself that nothing awful's going to happen if some small children I know vaguely want to say hi and talk about their day.

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