Why no cure!?!

[WiredIncorrectly]

My partner has had panic attacks, but only when she's at a hysterical point so very rarely. And her attacks are usually brief and relating to a tough situation. Whereas I have anxiety and panic attacks almost daily and have done all of my life. So when I try to explain my anxiety she compares it with hers and thinks nothing of it and doesn't take it seriously.

That used to bug me. But that was partly the reason why my anxiety was spiraling because I wasn't taking her advice. I told myself "your panic isn't as bad as mine so your advice isn't relevant". I also ignored the advice from people without anxiety - which is crazy because think about these people don't have anxiety because they can control their mind so I should have been listening.

But with that said panic attacks are still a rough ride and although I would consider myself as doing much better I still have panic attacks. The difference is you sort of learn how to deal with them. You become good at spotting the root causes and avoiding them.

For me over stimulation of my senses is a huge cause of the worst panic attacks. I have aspergers so maybe it's related to that because I do have sensitivity to light and sound. I've learned to avoid situations where there is too much going on. It happened to me this weekend.

I was home alone enjoying the peace and quite while my partner and son were out at an adventure park with friends. They got back late and I was in a relaxed state. But suddenly the house was in a state of excitement, happiness, and sillyness. All things I can deal with for short periods but when it's abrupt like it was it sent my mind into a panic. My partner got a little annoyed with me because I asked if she could lower the energy a little.

It is quite a pain in the backside living with me, but my partner is mostly super understanding about it all, even if I often feel like she isn't. She has patience, and has stuck around for 10 years so I must be doing something right

Anyway buddy, sorry for the long talk. My advice is to learn how to deal with it. I've been rough at times and I'm sure many members have been fed up of my constant anxiety questions at times. Thankfully I'm not that bad anymore. I'm happy to give you any advice and share how I deal with things though.

What do you struggle with the most? What mostly causes you anxiety?

[Colin44]

My partner has had panic attacks, but only when she's at a hysterical point so very rarely. And her attacks are usually brief and relating to a tough situation. Whereas I have anxiety and panic attacks almost daily and have done all of my life. So when I try to explain my anxiety she compares it with hers and thinks nothing of it and doesn't take it seriously.

That used to bug me. But that was partly the reason why my anxiety was spiraling because I wasn't taking her advice. I told myself "your panic isn't as bad as mine so your advice isn't relevant". I also ignored the advice from people without anxiety - which is crazy because think about these people don't have anxiety because they can control their mind so I should have been listening.

But with that said panic attacks are still a rough ride and although I would consider myself as doing much better I still have panic attacks. The difference is you sort of learn how to deal with them. You become good at spotting the root causes and avoiding them.

For me over stimulation of my senses is a huge cause of the worst panic attacks. I have aspergers so maybe it's related to that because I do have sensitivity to light and sound. I've learned to avoid situations where there is too much going on. It happened to me this weekend.

I was home alone enjoying the peace and quite while my partner and son were out at an adventure park with friends. They got back late and I was in a relaxed state. But suddenly the house was in a state of excitement, happiness, and sillyness. All things I can deal with for short periods but when it's abrupt like it was it sent my mind into a panic. My partner got a little annoyed with me because I asked if she could lower the energy a little.

It is quite a pain in the backside living with me, but my partner is mostly super understanding about it all, even if I often feel like she isn't. She has patience, and has stuck around for 10 years so I must be doing something right

Anyway buddy, sorry for the long talk. My advice is to learn how to deal with it. I've been rough at times and I'm sure many members have been fed up of my constant anxiety questions at times. Thankfully I'm not that bad anymore. I'm happy to give you any advice and share how I deal with things though.

What do you struggle with the most? What mostly causes you anxiety?

I wish my wife understood better which is saddening to me as I know she thinks I should be able to cope by now.

Not sure what my actual fear is other than my heart racing too fast, that in itself makes me fell very uncomfortable as I think it will never slow and I'll have a heart attack.

[ankietyjoe]

Not sure what my actual fear is other than my heart racing too fast, that in itself makes me fell very uncomfortable as I think it will never slow and I'll have a heart attack.

How many times has that happened so far?

[Raiderman]

Been there done that.

[Colin44]

How many times has that happened so far?

I know what you are saying but my mind is very weak right now and I'm struggling to manage the bad thoughts. In the early hours of Sunday morn I had 3 back to back all brought on by my stupid thoughts and it's still not shaken off my feeling of dread completely.

[Carys]

Stand there and say it out loud, to help manage the panic. Feel your heart race and say OUT LOUD, and repeat as often as necessary sentences that are designed to self-reassure, 'my heart is racing due to adrenaline, it will slow down over time, it won't kill me and I've felt this before'. During my past worst panic attacks I have had my heart at 160 bpm and sat on the stairs/been pacing around repeating over and over with my eyes closed sentences that self-reassured. Have the sentences/phrases ready - 'its just a panic attack, very soon it will slow down, this is the speed of someone doing exercise only and it won't harm me'. AS it starts to come back down you can then repeat sentences to reenforce like 'There we go, just as I expected....starting to sort out'. This takes sustained practice, real belief in the words you are saying.

Or you could try - Sit somewhere comfortable, on your own, close your eyes....put your hand on your stomach and feel your breathing as your stomach rises and falls. COncentrate on that, make it slow and steady, feel the rise and fall. Really concentrate, this takes practice, to remove your thoughts from your heart and back onto a kind of mindfulness of the here and now. AS yoy relax, no matter how long this takes, your heart rate WILL reduce.

[Phill2]

Couldn't have said it better Carys

[ankietyjoe]

I know what you are saying but my mind is very weak right now and I'm struggling to manage the bad thoughts. In the early hours of Sunday morn I had 3 back to back all brought on by my stupid thoughts and it's still not shaken off my feeling of dread completely.

It's perfectly normal to feel that your mind is weak, panic is an ordeal.

So.........

Stand there and say it out loud, to help manage the panic. Feel your heart race and say OUT LOUD, and repeat as often as necessary sentences that are designed to self-reassure, 'my heart is racing due to adrenaline, it will slow down over time, it won't kill me and I've felt this before'. During my past worst panic attacks I have had my heart at 160 bpm and sat on the stairs/been pacing around repeating over and over with my eyes closed sentences that self-reassured. Have the sentences/phrases ready - 'its just a panic attack, very soon it will slow down, this is the speed of someone doing exercise only and it won't harm me'. AS it starts to come back down you can then repeat sentences to reenforce like 'There we go, just as I expected....starting to sort out'. This takes sustained practice, real belief in the words you are saying.

Or you could try - Sit somewhere comfortable, on your own, close your eyes....put your hand on your stomach and feel your breathing as your stomach rises and falls. COncentrate on that, make it slow and steady, feel the rise and fall. Really concentrate, this takes practice, to remove your thoughts from your heart and back onto a kind of mindfulness of the here and now. AS yoy relax, no matter how long this takes, your heart rate WILL reduce.

This is gold. And it works.

When I first heard about the idea of mantra's, I thought they were ridiculous. I thought the idea of saying things to myself was preposterous, but there's a reason why it works.

The part of your brain that creates the anxiety, adrenaline and panic is basically like a young child. It's like a 2 year old meeting a big barking dog in the park. It takes a grown up (the other, rational part of your brain) to take the child by the hand reassure it that the dog is only doing what a dog does, and wont bite. And you have to do the same thing with anxiety. You have to engage the rational part of your brain and keep repeating the message that you have experienced this before and it will pass. It requires repeated practice for weeks, months...whatever it takes.

For example, right now I'm having a bit of a relapse. First one in about 2 years. I know why it is, we have almost fictional amounts of stress right now due to an imminent move and a complicated legal/financial issue that needs to be resolved for that to happen. On top of that I became ill at the same time, my car broke down, both my kids were ill and I had two big work deadlines to meet. So normal, but complicate life stuff. I could feel it coming, but I was prepared. As expected, about a week ago....BOOM.....massive panic attack, and nightly ones now too. 4am on the dot, startling awake. Last night was the worst, I couldn't breathe, heart rate was 157bpm. So I got up, had a piss, had some water....and mantra'd the crap out of myself. It's not pleasant, and the sensation of anxiety never gets any easier, but I got up this morning, made packed lunch for my kids, took them to school, went to Tesco's and now I'm just sitting here drinking coffee (no, really!) and getting on with my day. 2 years ago, that kind of panic attack would have completely removed the following day for me. I would have been 'out of it'. The point in this little anecdote is that every single person who suffers with anxiety has it within themselves to control the reaction to it. If you experience enough stress, you probably won't be able to stop them happening sometimes, but you absolutely can stop one panic attack turning into anything more than a 10-20 minute experience.

[Carys]

Yes yes yes ! (gosh that sounded a bit rude lol)

I love reading Ankiety Joe's replies, because they are where I am, and they remind me what I do WORKS if you fully commit to it. Yes, same here, I can still have panic attacks (sometimes epic), but thats it, a one off - I 'mantra the crap out of myself' (I LOVE that phrase LOL !!!) also and then get on with it and move on. I have accepted that I won't ever get rid of them, they are part of me and my reaction to stress, but I CAN and WILL not let them take over. Thanks AnkietyJoe, yet again, for writing words that help, really help...I honestly think lots more people should read the posts you make, they really touch the root of it.

The part of your brain that creates the anxiety, adrenaline and panic is basically like a young child. It's like a 2 year old meeting a big barking dog in the park. It takes a grown up (the other, rational part of your brain) to take the child by the hand reassure it that the dog is only doing what a dog does, and wont bite. And you have to do the same thing with anxiety. You have to engage the rational part of your brain and keep repeating the message that you have experienced this before and it will pass. It requires repeated practice for weeks, months...whatever it takes.

[ankietyjoe]

Yes yes yes ! (gosh that sounded a bit rude lol)

I'm saying nothing......

I love reading Ankiety Joe's replies, because they are where I am, and they remind me what I do WORKS if you fully commit to it. Yes, same here, I can still have panic attacks (sometimes epic), but thats it, a one off - I 'mantra the crap out of myself' (I LOVE that phrase LOL !!!) also and then get on with it and move on. I have accepted that I won't ever get rid of them, they are part of me and my reaction to stress, but I CAN and WILL not let them take over. Thanks AnkietyJoe, yet again, for writing words that help, really help...I honestly think lots more people should read the posts you make, they really touch the root of it.

I dunno, I think you can get rid of them. It just takes an understanding of the connection between stress and anxiety. When I first had panic attacks I thought they came out of the blue, but in hindsight they didn't. I had a stressful job (but then again don't we all), but on top of that I only slept 4-5 hours a night and had a bad diet. And I smoked, and I drank 10 cups of coffee every day....AND I was in a bad relationship with somebody that enjoyed a bit of self destruction. Well duh....inevitable.

Building a life that's stress free should also be a goal, and in some respects that's harder than dealing with anxiety in the first place. But if you understand what your mind/body needs to be stress free, it's a long term goal that can be achieved. I think if you live your life that way you can become somewhat bullet proof to the odd bit of stress here and there, you'll never be able to eradicate stress completely, it's unrealistic to think that way.