one thing after the other....

[Fishmanpa]

There's a difference between looking up valid and reputable information (The CDC, FDA etc.) and getting other people's horror stories. There is a conscious choice on what you click and choose to read. If you choose to click on the horror stories, that's self sabotage and totally on you. If you choose to read facts and real statistics and apply them logically to your situation, you avoid the panic and hopefully can apply that to future food contamination fears.

I think the root of this fear needs to be addressed as it's clearly affecting your life and the lives of your family. Getting a tidbit of information or reassurance here isn't the long term solution... It's not really even a short term answer as it just feeds the dragon.

What AMOC said was spot on.

Positive thoughts

[cofo]

There's a difference between looking up valid and reputable information (The CDC, FDA etc.) and getting other people's horror stories. There is a conscious choice on what you click and choose to read. If you choose to click on the horror stories, that's self sabotage and totally on you. If you choose to read facts and real statistics and apply them logically to your situation, you avoid the panic and hopefully can apply that to future food contamination fears.

I think the root of this fear needs to be addressed as it's clearly affecting your life and the lives of your family. Getting a tidbit of information or reassurance here isn't the long term solution... It's not really even a short term answer as it just feeds the dragon.

What AMOC said was spot on.

Positive thoughts

I hear you.
I’m trying to get started on a new approach. And the root of the fear would be something nice to figure out. Actually I think Someone hit the nail on the head a few pages back when they talk about self confidence and trusting myself.
But in the meantime, I need some forms of support. I appreciate that the idea of just looking at reputable websites and trying to be specific when researching sounds reasonable. But, I’ve been there done that. I know me: and unfortunately any website has little nuggets that can trigger something. I won’t do it for this. So, i understand where y’all are coming from. I hope y’all know I’m just trying to figure things out .

[MyNameIsTerry]

Then it would be better for you if we restricted our responses in the way a therapist would to avoid giving reassurance. You ask something, and it will be loaded with what AMOC explained in terms of language, but we respond in the form of questioning how you will find what you need, if you even need to look for it and what your re framed conclusion is.

[Carys]

I have't read the replies since last night, haven't got time - but I'm still going to answer the oil question, even though it looks like other people don't agree with that approach. It is expansion of air in the bottle that causes the llid to pop, warm oil and air, more space needed. Pop. I get what cofo is trying to do here and if it means she starts using things, eating properly and loses some of her fears it will give her more success in the future with rationalising. Building the skills to have more confidence in yourself to reassure can work.

[cofo]

I have't read the replies since last night, haven't got time - but I'm still going to answer the oil question, even though it looks like other people don't agree with that approach. It is expansion of air in the bottle that causes the llid to pop, warm oil and air, more space needed. Pop. I get what cofo is trying to do here and if it means she starts using things, eating properly and loses some of her fears it will give her more success in the future with rationalising. Building the skills to have more confidence in yourself to reassure can work.

thank you. you are right. I know i'm walking a fine line. I'm very appreciative of the responses you have given me carys.
and, it already kinda helped. with the oil, i actually wondered if maybe it had to do with warm air expansion, but of course, my brain is caught in a loop of food fears, and it's super hard to get out of that on your own. but now, since i have some facts, i can remind myself that i actually KNEW the answer to that one, and that i should start to trust myself a little.

i know that all of you are trying to help me. and everyone's input is taken to heart. my take on this forum is as a "group therapy" session. it's not to replace my regular therapy. but in support of that. I think that finding people who have had the same fears as me, or who have similar anxiety, is beneficial to know that it's "normal". Also, talking things over with people in "group therapy" to get some info on fears, (ie. like how is HIV transmitted, or in my case, is brown meat safe?)is better than going down the google train.

don't give up on me. i appreciate you all.

[Carys]

i know that all of you are trying to help me. and everyone's input is taken to heart. my take on this forum is as a "group therapy" session.

Yes, you are right, everything everybody says is useful.....who is to know what will 'click' and work. All the different approaches people have feed into the grand scheme of things. Good for you cofo, you are try really hard.

Nobody is going to give up on you !!!!

[Carys]

I honestly understand what you are feeling right now. Decades ago I got stuck in a loop of 'contamination/food poisoning' type worries, the more I gave them validity the more restrictions to my eating appeared. Avoidance didn't make things more secure, it sent another fear following right behind it....hand washing, surface cleaning, best before dates, use by dates, poisoning other people, meat that looked odd, jars that I wasn't sure about, packets that MIGHT have a tiny hole, has a can got a bump and its rusted inside and contaminated things, other people preparing food arrrgh, eating out arrrghh...the list went on and on and got longer the more I avoided. I wouldn't say I was as limited as you, but I think I would have got that way given time. I felt that my totally out of perspective fears were based on a lack of understanding of some things, so I wasn't able to rationalise as I didn't have a firm basis of understanding about what was potentially a real risk and what wasn't a real potential risk. I was lucky enough/am lucky enough to have a family who are scientific, if I asked a question (as you do here) they were able to answer with complete logic and with kinda biological facts. Once I had that knowledge I was fine with using/trying/having the item.

For example - Best before dates literally mean nowt to me now, totally useable even after years and years lol Use by dates, there is a margin of error things can't go off literally at a specified time, so I will and have used and eaten as long as I have done some smell and sight checks. I use my senses now and trust them to make judgements, far too much food is wasted worldwide and it is partly people following dates too closely when they don't need to. I follow good food hygiene rules (and no I don't use antibacterial sprays or bleach on things!), and will only eat out at places with a 4 or 5 start food hygiene rating LOL but am no longer affected by concerns about contamination that could cause illness. This didn't all happen overnight that I was able to move forwards, and sometimes I literally had to force myself to eat/do something that felt uncomfortable - but as I had successes and didn't fall ill, my eating world got larger and I regained the ability to make reasonable judgements which I had lost over time. My choices were so out of perspective, that I felt that I needed outside input to bring them back into some sort of reasonable persepctive, which is why you ask the questions you do.

The key to it though is never ask twice (about a specfici thing)! Thats where the process can be delayed. Once you have an answer/opinion, you then need to use that yourself and internalise it. No matter how uncomfortable it feels, how much you want to ask again as you 'still aren't sure', you need to move on and use the facts to reassure yourself.

[Scass]

I need to read this thread, I have so many of these worries about food. I didn’t realise how common it was. Hugs cofo, you’re not alone x


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[ErinKC]

I honestly understand what you are feeling right now. Decades ago I got stuck in a loop of 'contamination/food poisoning' type worries, the more I gave them validity the more restrictions to my eating appeared. Avoidance didn't make things more secure, it sent another fear following right behind it....hand washing, surface cleaning, best before dates, use by dates, poisoning other people, meat that looked odd, jars that I wasn't sure about, packets that MIGHT have a tiny hole, has a can got a bump and its rusted inside and contaminated things, other people preparing food arrrgh, eating out arrrghh...the list went on and on and got longer the more I avoided. I wouldn't say I was as limited as you, but I think I would have got that way given time. I felt that my totally out of perspective fears were based on a lack of understanding of some things, so I wasn't able to rationalise as I didn't have a firm basis of understanding about what was potentially a real risk and what wasn't a real potential risk. I was lucky enough/am lucky enough to have a family who are scientific, if I asked a question (as you do here) they were able to answer with complete logic and with kinda biological facts. Once I had that knowledge I was fine with using/trying/having the item.

For example - Best before dates literally mean nowt to me now, totally useable even after years and years lol Use by dates, there is a margin of error things can't go off literally at a specified time, so I will and have used and eaten as long as I have done some smell and sight checks. I use my senses now and trust them to make judgements, far too much food is wasted worldwide and it is partly people following dates too closely when they don't need to. I follow good food hygiene rules (and no I don't use antibacterial sprays or bleach on things!), and will only eat out at places with a 4 or 5 start food hygiene rating LOL but am no longer affected by concerns about contamination that could cause illness. This didn't all happen overnight that I was able to move forwards, and sometimes I literally had to force myself to eat/do something that felt uncomfortable - but as I had successes and didn't fall ill, my eating world got larger and I regained the ability to make reasonable judgements which I had lost over time. My choices were so out of perspective, that I felt that I needed outside input to bring them back into some sort of reasonable persepctive, which is why you ask the questions you do.

The key to it though is never ask twice (about a specfici thing)! Thats where the process can be delayed. Once you have an answer/opinion, you then need to use that yourself and internalise it. No matter how uncomfortable it feels, how much you want to ask again as you 'still aren't sure', you need to move on and use the facts to reassure yourself.

I love this response, Carys. I have very similar fears and they also limit my eating over time. I have found, too, that if I force myself to eat something I will be able to quickly get over the fear, so I try to do this in small steps over time. I also try to think back to when I didn't have anxiety. I spent most years of my life eating everything without worry and never got food poisoning, so there's no reason to think I would now other than my anxiety.

[cofo]

ok, so not once during my son's illness of just a fever/headache for 5 days did i wonder if maybe he had a brain eating amoeba. But now, i'm wondering if he may have. I have just put two and two together, so hear me out. sometimes my water smells like what we call "pond" water. . we are on the county/city water supply, not a well or anything. we've been at this house for over 20 years and we've always had this issue. it's not all the time, but maybe once a month or so.
is this normal? when it does happen, we only smell it when we unload clean dishes and they just smell like pond water...or occasionally i'll notice it when my housekeeper wipes the counters with just water, it makes my counters smell. i wiped my counter today and didn't smell it. I've never noticed it anywhere but the kitchen. does this happen to anyone else at their house? now, i'm scared maybe it's our water pipes and they are compromised(old house)and somehow "bad" water is getting into my pipes. is this even possible? i didn't dream up the smell, and honestly, it's never worried me too much. i don't like it, but didn't think it was harmful. but maybe i'm wrong.