Anxiety about cancer in family

[bronte]

Hi everyone im extremely anxious about things lately,bpth my dad and mum died of inoperable cancer my dad was 54 lung and my mum was 68 primary unknown.In november last year my brother was diagnosed with inoperable anal cancer which has spread to his liver and we are in bits hes 59 years old.He has had radiotheraphy and chemo to treat the symptoms and hopefully prolong his life,The only symptoms he had was pain in his bottom for about a month and bright red bleeding for a couple of weeks when he went to doctors,how can this happen so quick when he was told by the first consultant it was piles which it wasnt.Ihave three sisters im so worried what the future hold cancer wise with mum dad and my brother getting it are we all going to go down the same path is it in our genes im so worried about my brother we are very close and spends alot of time with me since his diagnoses im finding it so hard to be rational,Its exhausting trying to keep him afloat while trying to keep myself sane,Im so sorry for the long post im desperate for someone to speak rational to me

[Liddy1993]

You poor pet I’m so sorry this has happened to you. Sending you love. I can relate to a certain degree my grandmother passed at 61 of a heart attack, her father at 57 her son (my uncle) at 43 and my 2nd cousin died in his forties also all of heart attacks. I was terrified for years that it’d happen to my mother or myself but we all got checked and none of us bar one uncle had high cholesterol and was put on meds for it. There’s a saying my mother uses all the time and it’s that you can plan for all these things to happen and life will come along and surprise with something you least expect. Just because this has unfortunately happened to your parents and brother doesn’t mean it will happen to you or that you’re doomed. If it would make you feel better go to the doctor and get a full body check, if you smoke give it up if you drink cut it down and if you’re overweight try a bit of exercise truth is we can worry all we want and it will change nothing. I wish I could offer you more advice or make you feel better but please do not think that you’re destined to get cancer because of this it isn’t guaranteed. Would you consider counselling to help deal with the emotional side of what you’re going through? xx

[ErinKC]

I'm so sorry you've gone through all of it. Anyone would be feeling pretty low and very anxious under the circumstances. The best you can do is use the information you have about your family to be a strong advocate for yourself and your health. Make sure your doctors are aware of your history, have regular check ups, make healthy lifestyle choices like Liddy said, and then try to push the worry aside and be there for your brother and live your life as fully as you can.

[Carys]

I think with life having thrown all this at you, and it is awful, you need professional help. You say 'genetically' things are this way for your family....has there been any genetic checking/testing/history taken by predictive genetic testing? You sound so low and desperate and terribly scared, and I can see why, I think you should get yourself to a doctor and ask for referral for some talking therapy to help support you through this. In many locations you don't need a GP to refer you... in the UK you can self-refer; I've put the link here from NHS.

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/stress...r-counselling/

If you follow it through it will provide some suggestions for things you can do, italk often comes up.

[jojo2316]

It is no wonder you are struggling, with your beloved brother facing this diagnosis. Be kind to yourself and I agree with Carys- I think it is time for some professional help. You have a lot to work through and you should have support while you do it. Good luck
xxx

[Liddy1993]

Agree with Carys after all you’ve been through I think you need to help yourself you can’t face all of that alone and not struggle. You are strong but even the strongest people have a limit xxxx

[bronte]

Thankyou everyone ive had no genetic testing but my anxiety is telling me im doomed to get cancer. ive also spoke to my Dr and she said 1 out of 2 people get cancer so just get on with your life.Ive had counciling and cbt for this anxiety in the past im just hoping it will pass but i cant see no light at the end of the tunnel at the moment xx

[jojo2316]

Thankyou everyone ive had no genetic testing but my anxiety is telling me im doomed to get cancer. ive also spoke to my Dr and she said 1 out of 2 people get cancer so just get on with your life.Ive had counciling and cbt for this anxiety in the past im just hoping it will pass but i cant see no light at the end of the tunnel at the moment xx

Your doctor is right. Cancer is common whether or not you have a particular genetic risk. But the good news is that treatments are improving all the time. You’ve had counciling in the past — and that’s great - but maybe you need it again?