Hello all,
I've been desperately searching for ways to cope with my anxiety which has been intensifying lately, and I thought this might help. I believe I've always had GAD and social anxiety bought it was fairly mild and manageable most of my life so I just kind of dealt with it. It wasn't until my sophomore year of college that I started having panic attacks and finally sought counseling. I did it for a while and the panic attacks eventually went away and I was feeling back to my old self again. There was a new element of anticipatory anxiety that always lingers, especially when I try to go to sleep at night, but it was manageable again so I didn't stress too much over it.
I've always taken on a lot and been very engaged, and overwhelm has been a constant presence in my life. I think for the past year or so it's been starting to get to be too much and I'm definitely dealing with burnout. I think depression as well. I'm not getting excited about the things I used to and feel like I've become very apathetic. Again I've been managing and unfortunately putting off going back to counseling (I'm going Friday though, no matter what!) I keep telling myself I'm graduating soon, so it'll get better than, (though I'm not convinced).
But I recently got the great news that I got a scholarship to go teach English in Korea, something that's been my dream since middle school. When I got the news, I was beyond excited, but since then I've been downright terrified. It's a year-long commitment and a huge undertaking. I've rationalized everything, I know to expect struggles and hardships and I'm prepared for that. There are plenty of moments when I'm completely fine, I remind myself why I'm going and how much I've been wanting this. I imagine worst case scenarios and I know they won't be that bad. But there are also a lot of moments where irrational fears and obsessive thoughts just run on loop in my head (especially as I'm laying in bed trying to get sleep, cause lord knows I need to sleep to get through this) and that rising sense of panic, the body tingling the tightness in the chest and that sense of impending doom just cripple me. I haven't had a full blown panic attack yet, but definitely an intense episode where my thoughts were borderline disturbing.
And when I get through them I'm fine, but I'm already exhausted and they're just taking their toll.
Anyway, this opportunity to go to Korea is a once in a life time opportunity and I don't want to give it up. Any tips for coping to this particular situation? (I'm definitely working on general coping mechanisms for anxiety, and like I said I will seek counseling ASAP).
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