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Thread: Haven't seen friends for months

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Posts
    780

    Haven't seen friends for months

    Hi,
    Social anxiety has really come out of nowhere for me, since about November. I've got lot of problems with anxiety but this is new and destroying my life.
    My friends have noticed my lack of attendance at social things and have started texting me asking if I'm OK and asking me to do things, which I keep declining. A couple of them know I'm having trouble seeing people. How do I break this cycle? They're having a sit in night and takeaway tomorrow and I said I'd go but it seems impossible. I'll go red, and feel they'll make a big deal of me being there if that makes sense. Don't get me wrong, I am so grateful to have great friends who care! But the longer I wait to see them the worse the fear is getting.
    Thanks

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2018
    Posts
    2,019

    Re: Haven't seen friends for months

    Is there any chance you could call one of them and have a chat, and explain how you're feeling? Would it be easier to meet them one on one?

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Posts
    780

    Re: Haven't seen friends for months

    I did tell my close friend what was going on, she said we'll just do something one on one which I said yes to then made something up to get out of it. And same with tonight, the same friend and another friend said we'll go out just us 3 and I've made another excuse. I just keep backing out at the last minute x

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2018
    Posts
    2,019

    Re: Haven't seen friends for months

    I think the best thing you can do is to make sure you text, phone and email - you might not be able to keep up with them in person, but if you keep on engaging with them by other means they'll know you're still interested in their lives.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jul 2018
    Posts
    62

    Re: Haven't seen friends for months

    As my main issue (at the moment) is HA, and because I am "that" age - I've found I've started avoiding friends where I know the evening is going to be spent discussing who's been diagnosed with what illness or worse, who's died! I'm not THAT old (57) but it seems to dominate conversations lately. That and pensions!! I'd rather stay in and watch Corrie or something!

    Though having said that, day time TV is best avoided unless you want life insurance for the over 50s, a stair lift or a funeral plan!

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Apr 2018
    Posts
    440

    Re: Haven't seen friends for months

    How did it end up turning out hun x?

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Posts
    780

    Re: Haven't seen friends for months

    Hey,
    I still haven't seen anyone but bumped into a friend while out for lunch with my family and am sure I was bright red. Tomorrow I have to go to a baby shower and I can't get out of it, promised I would be there. And there'll be loads of my friends there and I'm really scared about saying cringe things, being put on the spot and going red. I'm just gonna have to drink some wine before I go and hope I get through it. Its been 6 months since I saw them. Anyone have advice :(

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Nov 2018
    Posts
    2,019

    Re: Haven't seen friends for months

    Maybe explain you can only stay an hour or so? You can always change your mind if you're having fun.

    I'd advise against drinking, as this is more likely to make you go red and will give you less control over yourself!

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Posts
    780

    Re: Haven't seen friends for months

    I will have to have a wine, probably not advisable but it does help me in those situations to relax.
    Yeah I'll just see how I get on. It's just the initial seeing everyone I'm more worried about, some of them will make comments about me being off the radar for months and I don't really know what to say. Been using workload as an excuse but they know that never usually stops me. Before all this I went out every weekend with them.
    It can't carry on though, so I'm quite glad in a way I'm forced into it. I miss going out and seeing them deep down. Just scared of the initial meet and greets I think?

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Apr 2018
    Posts
    440

    Re: Haven't seen friends for months

    How did it all work out hun x? Any updates, hope you're doing okay!

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