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Thread: Haven't seen friends for months

  1. #11
    Join Date
    Jun 2013

    Re: Haven't seen friends for months

    Hey so sorry, I have just seen this post. Yes thank you, I bit the bullet and was so glad for doing it. I'm still hiding away more I usually would but have seen my friends a few times since that post at least.
    I do have a wedding in 3 weeks in Spain and I'm a bridesmaid and I am dreading it :(

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Apr 2018

    Re: Haven't seen friends for months

    Well done for taking the first step x I know it's hard, it can be scary but as someone who didn't go to alot of things because of anxiety. I always regretted it more that I didn't go! Do you have anyone going with you that you can have as someone you can tell your feelings too x

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Jun 2013

    Re: Haven't seen friends for months

    Yeah my boyfriend is going, we've booked a hotel away from everyone else so can have our own space, and two days with the wedding party. Hoping this will be enough to not be too overwhelming xx

  4. #14

    Re: Haven't seen friends for months

    Quote Originally Posted by LF87 View Post
    I still haven't seen anyone but bumped into a friend while out for lunch with my family and am sure I was bright red. Tomorrow I have to go to a baby shower and I can't get out of it, promised I would be there. And there'll be loads of my friends there and I'm really scared about saying cringe things, being put on the spot and going red. I'm just gonna have to drink some wine before I go and hope I get through it. Its been 6 months since I saw them. Anyone have advice :(
    I would honestly just be honest with your friends about your difficulty to interact with people in general recently. Real friends are going to be happy that you are just there and real friends are going to understand and help or empathize or adjust a couple things at a gathering for example to make you feel more comfortable. Look at it this way : if you told them that you suddenly had to be in a wheelchair for a disability would they look at you oddly? No. Mental health and anxiety is no different to a physical handicap. It's a handicap so to say. No one would moan about you being in a wheelchair and not being able to attend something due to it so why would they have the thought or right to moan about an invisible on the outside handicap? Mental health is so stigmatic included in it social anxieties.

    I like to look at social anxiety as a tool that lets you realize your true friends :
    -if they're critical because you find something difficult and uncomfortable or are upset at you for it... Not a true friend.
    -if you share your struggles with them about social anxiety and they tell you to get over it or get annoyed because you're "making a big deal" or inconveniencing them in some way... Not your true friend.

    I have found out so many good supportive friends and I've weeded out so many unsupportive and uncaring friends. I find the more I open up with people and the more I'm honest with them, the better it is in the short term and long term. I also don't have to worry about "making a fool of myself" or feeling awkward or being looked at with annoyance for having a panic attack or quiet moment or day. They know I may need to grab air because things are a bit too much. They are not mad if I say I can't come because I'm way too anxious or exhausted. So many people are supportive and I think that anxiety and social anxiety are becoming so much more understood by the masses now. It seems like almost everyone knows someone who suffers now. Being open is also a good way to find others like you, you can support and be supported by and make lifelong friendships with.

    Best of luck. Do your best. Walk in with your head held up high. And remember as much as you convince yourself you will be looked at negatively or focused on a lot... That will not be the case. People will be focused on the event at hand and at worst ask where you've been or say how happy they are to see you. Just remember to be honest if you can and you can simply go into detail at a later date one on one with each person over a cup of coffee or send a group message.

    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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