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Thread: PTSD and Triggers

  1. #11
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    Re: PTSD and Triggers

    Quote Originally Posted by Carnation View Post
    Disappointing to have no responses when Nicola kindly created a sub-forum on a few people's requests.
    Now I feel embarrassed backing the idea up.
    Give it some time, Carnation. Perhaps if those with PTSD know it's here they may be on more?

    Some boards are pretty dead like the Phobias ones, some of the Meds barely move and the new Rabies one was not going to get many.

    Maybe people will use it to talk about more general trauma too and then there are other traumatic disorders.
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  2. #12
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    Re: PTSD and Triggers

    Thanks Terry for your support.

    I happen to think it is a very important topic to be able to read for comfort and encouragement and release for many of our sufferers.
    It's a vast subject that many of us have been carrying demons that haunt us through out our lives.

    It is usually not even one event that can debilitate or effect us, but many unfortunate experiences of our life.

    I mentioned a car crash for me, but if we are putting our cards on the table, then....

    *Warning for any readers that may find it too delicate to read for whatever reason *

    I was bullied at school, very badly so I don't make friends easily because of trust issues.

    I was raped by a so called boyfriend, so it has affected my future relationships.

    My mum dehydrated me as a baby and I nearly died.
    It took 3 months to return to normal functioning.

    I was abandoned by my parents and sent to stay with my neighbours when I was 10 yrs old with no explanation and later found out it was because she had cancer.
    My dad was taking the whole affair out on me and made me fearful of him and not wanted and wanted to disappear from their lives because I thought I was to blame!

    No one was feeding me properly when I was a child, so I was extremely underweight and ended up with anorexia for nearly 20 years because I had issues with food and associated it with love and as I thought I was unloved, I rejected the food. This problem filted out in to my adult life and I still struggle to eat in public or accept anyone else cooking for me.

    I saw my grandad having a heart attack at the age of 12 years old and still have visions today.

    I lost two babies before born and both times had no support mentally for the loss. One of the times, the nurse just turned to me and said, "Your baby is dead!" And then walked out of the room and left me lying there for what seemed like forever. I was also back to work the following day.

    There, I've said it!
    I have nothing to be ashamed of and I no longer blame myself for any of those events.

    Just to add to that.
    When I did open up to a therapist about my childhood experiences with my mum and dad, she told me that they probably didn't love me and was unable to care for me as a child.
    Great! That makes me feel a 100% better and 40 lighter.
    Thankfully some of my childhood issues were made more clear to me through my mum in the last few years of her life. Although it's not going to change history or repair the hurt, I am thankful for any explanation to why something happened that seemed so cruel at the time.

    Remember, it is good to talk and share and not assume that YOU are to blame. There are reasons for everything!
    It's not necessarily going to be your fault. Circumstances play a huge part in our experiences and very unfortunate that we do have to suffer. But it makes us stronger to survive and fight for what we deserve in life.

    Thank you for listening x

  3. #13
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    Re: PTSD and Triggers

    Carnation,

    I think we have plenty of members around who have been through some horrendous things such as yourself
    They may not have a PTSD diagnosis but it has affected their lives. This was something AntysVee was talking about in terms of undiagnosed PTSD cases where the trauma has restricted the person and it gets judged as them being just an anxious person or depressed person rather than tracing it back to it's root cause.

    I guess we have to watch the medical world on that one and see how they deal with it. They have given the criteria for PTSD and other trauma based disorders but it seems it is woven into so many mental health problem. Just look at personality disorders. These come at younger ages but trauma at any ages can shape your future. It's obvious really when you consider we learn from our experiences. Not everything we learn is good hence why we have NMP to help us with our problems and try to change that to improve our lives.

    I can think of quite a few people on here who have mentioned child abuse, domestic abuse, violence or sexual assaults against them, traumatic events like car crashes, losing loved ones in various ways, illness, etc. They may not have the criteria for a PTSD diagnosis but many have been through the pain that leads to it and can talk on here in a more focussed way about that. When posting on other boards their current issues get more focus when they may need to be also dealing with traumas too.

    I think this board is a good idea because what we perhaps aren't so good with on the other boards is considering things like abuse and how it changes mindset in very deep ways. I don't understand it, I've not been through it. I can read so much but never really feel it. I do know people who have bene through such things who do understand how it can change how you feel about the world. It's a very complex subject and much of the therapy we often discuss aims at what you think now about x symptom or x place to go or x event but I don't think it gets into the deeper issues caused by that trauma.

    Other members know much more about this. I think AnxietyJoe has posted a support forum for it too in some threads.

    And other people have raised threads to Admin asking for this board too. They probably just haven't spotted it yet now Admin have decided to retry it.
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  4. #14
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    Re: PTSD and Triggers

    Very brave of you to post this, Mrs C. Testament to your strength of character, will and fortitude to have survived, but that doesn't mitigate the pain and suffering you went through. Likewise for any of us with traumatic and painful memories of the past. "PTSD" diagnosis or not.
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  5. #15
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    Re: PTSD and Triggers

    Carnation
    I will write my trauma’s on here when I am feeling not as raw.
    Hear is one for you Buster.

  6. #16
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    Re: PTSD and Triggers

    I completely understand Lola that's exactly why I didn't go in to the finer details of my traumas.
    I found myself in a pool of tears just writing what I did and realised how upset I still am about life's shocks and traumas. Talking about it won't change our memories and you can't make something bad in to something good, but we can do our up most to fill our lives now with as much happiness as we can.
    I find I am very wary of almost everything and don't take kindness without thinking of an ulterior motive. I reject any love and carry a barrier around me of protection. It's turned me in to an over emotional person, a bit of a loner and at times bitter about life.
    Raw is a good description, like being burned in the past, but still feeling the pain and wearing the scars of unfortunate circumstances.

    Thank you Terry and KK, just a few kind words can go along way.

  7. #17
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    Re: PTSD and Triggers

    Hi all , been feeling like poop so didn’t feel up to posting but I did want to come back to this thread , carnation you seem to be carrying a load of boulders in that rucksack it makes life heavy going doesn’t it but we are still here tough as old boots , one word in your post stood out and it’s a word I hate , dead , it’s a word you would use to describe the batteries in your torch not a baby growing inside you or a relative or friend that had passed away , it just seems an incredibly insensitive word .
    my post did seem a bit of a pity party on reflection but it’s not something I would say to anyone I know but you guys understand and wouldn’t judge because many of you have been through similar or worse.
    I do struggle with therapists as they are paid to sit and nod their heads and look sympathetic, I also make judgments on them thinking they have probably had a middle class charmed life and haven’t had the struggles we have , I’d rather be talking to someone who understands from experience, two of my doctors have told me about losing their children and having to deal with the mental side of it and I felt comfortable telling them how low I felt .
    Anyway to put a positive spin on this , Ive read many posts from you lot and something that stands out is the compassion you all show ,looking after the homeless , caring for family , nursing , animal lovers and spending way way too much time on here trying to help strangers out , so we may be nuts but at least it’s the nicest kind of nuts .
    ta ta

  8. #18
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    Re: PTSD and Triggers

    I agree with you Buster. The word 'dead' or even 'dying' is used so callously and has the effect of an everlasting shock. And as a result, could cause PTSD.
    Strange you brought this up, because only today something happened which was a prime example of this.
    Warning - may affect some people due to its sensitivity.
    We found a young cat in the garden this afternoon. It was lying down in the soil. Straight away, I could sense something seriously wrong. As a former animal rescuer and an employee of the rspca, my first thoughts were not good. Not to be too explicit on her condition, we took her to the local vets and after a quick examination the vet turned to me and saud, "she's dying".
    Both myself and Mr C were gobsmacked and upset by his comment. Firstly, we are not stupid to not realise the cats status, secondly we took her there in the hope of being saved and thirdly, the vet could have reworded his comment by saying something like, "thank you, we will do what we can, but she is in a bad way".
    I actually had to walk out of the room. I was welling up and it brought back memories of my past cats and the fear of what could happen to my own cat.
    When I got home, I gave my cat the biggest cuddle ever!
    So yes, please professionals, try to choose your words carefully, because the shock is too unbearable for us to handle.
    And for the record, 'dead' was the word used to tell me of the passing of my mum. It took me over an hour to get over the shock.

  9. #19
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    Re: PTSD and Triggers

    I didn't realise this thread was here. I have to agree about the way professionals deal with us. Yes I know, they do this stuff all day and every day...but we don't.

    years ago, I had an early miscarriage, and the doctor in the hospital was extremely callous. To her, it was not a baby, just a jumble of cells and she treated me as such. But it WAS a baby, it was my eldest. I have never forgotten that doctor, her attitude was sh@t. The doctor who dealt with my mother was very good but he was very blunt when he said she wanted no resuss. That hit hard.

    fortunately I've not met any crappy vets, just expensive ones....At one point I had 8 dogs and 3 cats, so I know them quite well, as you can imagine.

    bedside manner in all medical professionals, human or animal is often lacking.Compassion is an important human emotion and we are at our most vulnerable at those times.

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  10. #20
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    Re: PTSD and Triggers

    I have the complex kind, I feel incredibly guilty for being severely affected on a daily basis by this fact, (****ing thankfully I did not suffer from physical inflictions because I always dwell a lot on the physical torment we can all suffer at any moment) it took me an extremely long time to accept I have been damahged in this way, a very patient therapist discovered and explain this repeatedly, it's there all the same no matter what I think. It's absolutely hellacious and relentless, we're all brave and resourceful folk for enduring this dreadful condition, you do learn a lot about yourself and how your brain works, it's definitely a curse and not a gift but it certainly gives you reason to self analyse and try to grow from the scarring.
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