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Thread: PTSD and Triggers

  1. #21
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    May 2014
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    Re: PTSD and Triggers

    Darksky a for you.
    And well done for finding the thread.

    And good to hear a positive side confetti.

    We tend to spend a lot of time trying to overcome our demons and fighting the residue of trauma, but we rarely open up about our inner feelings or experiences.
    There is an element of fear in even doing that.
    Do we want to open up old wounds? Will it make us relive the moment? Will it make us feel worse?
    I can't answer that, but is it healthy to carry that pain around manifesting inside and constantly feeding us with fear?
    We are all different and one person will cope differently to another and be affected differently.
    But underneath, are we all the same?
    Can a trauma even be stored for many years to affect us later in life, by a trigger?
    I think it can and my experiences confirm that for me.
    Hard to change the thought of a trigger, but maybe dealing with the original trauma is the answer.

  2. #22
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    Re: PTSD and Triggers

    I find myself having uncomfortable dreams over my late mum again.
    They are not nightmares, but dreams that make me feel sad and uncomfortable and even guilty.
    The dreams are vivid and at times disturbing and there's no particular reason that has triggered this. Not in my conscious mind anyway.
    I feel I can't be free of guilt and sadness and at the same time I feel I went above and beyond to be a good daughter.
    So why does this still haunt me 2 years on?
    I know I need to stop torturing myself with these unhelpful thoughts and try and remember the kind words she left me with, which was actually a long time coming. But at least I got it in the end.
    I just wish the dreams would stop.

  3. #23
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    Mar 2018
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    Re: PTSD and Triggers

    sends you hugs Carnation, maybe the dreams are your subconscious way of working through the death of your mom? I went to Walmart with hubby and got triggered by When A Man Loves A Woman song over the intercom system, on Saturday, my ex used to play it when he was beating me and sometimes he would play it to let me know a beating was coming. Carnation reading some of your story on here, about your mom and dad, and not getting enough food and such, sounds much like what I went through, gives you lots and lots and lots of hugs.
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  4. #24
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    Re: PTSD and Triggers

    Thank you Tracey

  5. #25
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    Re: PTSD and Triggers

    I had no idea I had PTSD until recently. I was sure there was a sub-forum here but couldn't find it, and am pleased to see it's back

    I'm still trying to work through it all. I was warned that therapy would make it worse before it got better, and it's been harder than I could have imagined, fluctuating between anxiety, depression, and various other states. I guess mine relates to loss and some elements of abuse in my childhood. It's difficult for me to recognise it for what it was, because I know people go through much worse, but it does help to have a professional name it as that.

    I guess I'm still working out triggers too. Certain people are probably the biggest triggers, as well as certain situations where I feel trapped. Also smaller things like music.

    Dreams are interesting and I had a recurring dream for years about a particular person. That person is still appearing in my dreams but there's definitely been a shift in how they appear, and it's not quite as frightening. I'm sorry you are having this Carnation. It is difficult having that cinema playing at night and then feeling it so acutely on waking up.

    Can a trauma be stored for years to affect us later on? In my opinion, absolutely 100% yes.
    __________________
    'If you're going through hell, keep going' (Winston Churchill)

  6. #26
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    Re: PTSD and Triggers

    Hi Dying Swan.
    Yes, a lot of people don't even realise they are suffering from PTSD, which makes any demons harder to deal with because you don't realise what is happening to you.
    I find most GPs generalise conditions with anxiety and that's it! But a lot of anxiety is linked to something else and we are left to find that out for ourselves.
    It's like when you told you have anxiety and we go away thinking, "why?", "what caused it? ".
    Then if we are successful enough to find the root, we then have to work at how to deal with it or just suffer and live with it.
    There's not too much info around either and mostly exposure therapy seems the only practice which can be just as traumatic as the root of the problem.
    But one thing that helps is knowing you are not only, there are other people to share and understand and help.
    We shouldn't feel inadequate for the way we feel especially as the cause is generally not even our fault.
    We may have to adapt our lives in a different way so it is less painful.
    Memories unfortunately can not be wiped out, but we can build new ones to help and overtime it will feel more bearable. x

  7. #27
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    Re: PTSD and Triggers

    I'm really sorry I didn't reply sooner. The last few months have been a bit of a roller coaster. How are you doing Carnation? How are the dreams? My recurring dreams have definitely changed since undertaking trauma-focused CBT, though I still get elements of them. For some reason they always have swimming pools in them, and I have absolutely no idea why!

    Have you had any treatment for your PTSD? It is difficult. I think I'm working out where a number of my issues stem from, but learning to overcome them when they've become so entrenched feels almost impossible.

    Hope you're doing ok Carnation, and everyone battling these difficulties
    __________________
    'If you're going through hell, keep going' (Winston Churchill)

  8. #28
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    Re: PTSD and Triggers

    Same here Swan, I've had 3 months of what seems gruelling and stressful situations. I also meant to reply earlier, but got bogged down with distractions.
    I'm still having the dreams, but not so scary as before.
    The one thing I have changed is I am allowing them to come even if I find them frightening. I have a tendency to dream away most nights anyway and they tend to be obscure and not make sense, a bit like your swimming pool. I've no doubts that must symbolise something and only you will probably work it out in the end, but it is annoying, isn't it?
    No, I didn't take up on the PTSD therapy as I was too scared to at the time.
    There's mixed emotions about exposure therapy and it has been known to make you feel worse before feeling better.
    You can bet how many sufferers that could not bear the thought of feeling any worse. How much worse is almost unthinkable. :(
    I think understanding why we suffer with the reoccurring torture is something we need more information on and whether time is a release for a condition like this.
    Time - how long is piece of string?
    It would be helpful to hear from previous sufferers that have recovered or using a method which is helping recovery.
    Trouble with PTSD, It's so difficult to talk about, just speaking about it is traumatic enough, I know it is for me.
    Keep us up to date Swan and I hope things get a bit easier for you. x

  9. #29
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    Re: PTSD and Triggers

    Hey Carnation.

    I'm glad your dreams are improving, even if they are not gone. I feel sure that must indicate progress, at least that's what I'm telling myself! It is frustrating not understanding the meanings behind them. I've tried looking it up but I'm not sure if I believe the interpretations, and I think in the end it's probably so personal that maybe the interpretation is unique, if that makes any sense.

    I totally understand not opting to go through PTSD therapy. I was warned I'd feel worse before getting better, but I underestimated that warning. It's not to say I don't think it's worth doing, but I think it's very personal and something only to be done if or when you feel ready, and some people might not ever be, and that's ok.

    Agree about time. It just can't be standardised in my opinion. Does it heal? Or does it bury the trauma/s deeper? Not sure. There are things I thought I was "over", until recently when I've burst into tears just mentioning them. But I think your strategy of just allowing these things to "be", whether it's dreams or strong emotions, is probably a healthy one, and accepting that those things happened is part of processing them in the longer run.

    I'm sorry that you've had a tough few months, and very much hope things are on the up for you. Life does love to throw us curveballs from time to time doesn't it? I hope you are doing ok x
    __________________
    'If you're going through hell, keep going' (Winston Churchill)

  10. #30
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    Re: PTSD and Triggers

    Hi Swan
    In answer to your post, imo I think trauma stays buried. You can't get rid of it completely, it's a life experience and the brain will remember it because it needs to protect us in the future.
    I think what is needed is to be able to move on from it taking wisdom with us. And under no circumstances blame ourselves, even a smidgen of, "but if I'd have done this". For whatever reason, we were put in that position, it is past, we got through it and build our confidence and wisdom to protect us in the future.
    Again, imo, we must not let our past haunt us even though dreams can be disturbing, it's the brains way of processing trauma and it doesn't mean we will live through that again.
    And its OK to have a good cry every now and then. Why should we hold back on our emotions?

    I'm a little late in replying to you Swan, but sending you positive vibes and good thoughts. x

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