Today’s headlines .........

[MyNameIsTerry]

I see it was scared of his Dad though Vee.
I've got my own story about sharks. The mother in law was recently on holiday in Australia and that's where she went swimming in the sea. Anyway a great white was nearby and it wasn't a pretty sight. The water was suddenly red, blood absolutely everywhere.

Anyway the paramedics turned up, the air ambulance arrived and it was straight to the operating theatre. Those surgeons were heroes, they did everything they could but it was no use...

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The shark died

You are Les Dawson and I claim my £5

[fishman65]

ooh Terry you spoil sport, but the fiver's yours

[AntsyVee]

Adding to the ways that you can get die in Australia....



****drum roll****




Getting crushed by a whale!
https://www.bbc.com/news/world-australia-53632975

[Lencoboy]

The blond and balding bomb-site is under scrutiny (again). £58,000 to refurbish a flat? Crumbs! And it’s not as if the previous occupant was a bad tenant… is it? Perhaps Mrs May deliberately furnished the place in ‘nightmare’ taste, knowing she wouldn’t be there very long, then took all the light fittings when she left in a fit of pique. Surely Boris-the-balding – a man far from penury – could have met the price for this costly bit of redecorating without resorting to a gilded begging bowl? I wonder if Ms Symonds is pleased with all the changes made so far?

Which reminds me…. I’ve an appointment with Dominic Cummings. I’m interviewing him to see if he’ll be suitable as my Personal Advisor. He might be just the bloke to help me finish my book: ‘Negative Buoyancy – how displacement activity drowns you in a sea of futility.’

With this sleaze scandal currently ravaging the Tory party/govt, it will be a big test to see how this year's local elections pan out, coupled with the fact that last year's were cancelled due to the pandemic.

No doubt some scaremongering smart alecs will try and get the better of Labour and the Lib Dems by blathering on about their respective failings/scandals!

[Noivous]

Here's a headline I read yesterday that had me laughing all day:

"Scientists Baffled by Disappearance of Flu"🤣

[Lencoboy]

Here's a headline I read yesterday that had me laughing all day:

"Scientists Baffled by Disappearance of Flu"🤣

Disappearance of flu?

Perhaps temporarily due to Covid restrictions but I don't know about permanently.

[Noivous]

My guess would be lenso that it's because anything with any similarity is being classified as covid.

[pulisa]

Why don't you ring Boris up and ask him about his friendly donor, Pain?

[MyNameIsTerry]

That's one expensive floor to ceiling dancing pole

[Lencoboy]

It’s worse than I thought – Boris-the-Balding had to find only £28,000, the other £30,000 being paid from a publicly-funded allowance. Now my wonderment shifts to who the mystery benefactor was, and why there’s so much prevarication from Number 10 when questioned. Perhaps that donor was someone with whom our anxious Akela didn’t want to be publicly seen to be associated. Flippin’ heck! it couldn’t have been… no! not that bloke of considerable means, Oil-Slick Starmer! That’d be embarrassing.

Speaking of which.... Politicians of all political persuasions, from Parish Councillor to Prime Minister; none is truly without sin, all have their failings and some have scandalous skeletons in cupboards. But that rarely dissuades any of them lining up to chuck the first, second and third stones if they think it’ll further their objectives and personal standing (one and the same thing, mostly).

I wouldn't mind betting you all that the headlines over the coming days will probably shift to some scaremongering news of some 'scandal' about Labour, past or present, real or imagined, in the run-up to next week's local elections, and Bozzer's current scandal will be water under the bridge and all things then forgiven and forgotten with the Tories massively rebounding while Labour get it in the neck and ripped to shreds by the media for the umpteenth time!