Here we are some 3.5 years since this incident and I have been crippled by fear again. I thought I was over it.

My wife is 8 weeks pregnant now and had to take an HIV test (routine). She has had all other test results back except the infectious diseases one (which is the one I am worried about). I am beside myself convinced that they have found something. It sounds ridiculous as I type it, because they would have told us by now (6 days since tests and 5 days since all other tests come back). This may be just because they dont even bother to tell you 'negative' if you are low risk (NHS England) and only notify you if something abnormal comes back.

I KNOW that this is an irrational fear, the rational part of my brain laughs at the anxious part. But I cannot stop ruminating about the 'what ifs', fearing the worst. I get over them, then 10 minutes later they are back.