Father diagnosed with prostate cancer.. worried about me and him now....

[lofwyr]

You are entitled to feel the hard things you feel, and you have the seeds of recovery in what you said, regardless of how crappy it all feels right now.

When I was diagnosed with heart issues, it hit my wife harder than me, but we both found a lot of solace in online support groups via Facebook. The people there were welcoming to family members as well as the diagnosed. Prostate cancer is much more common than my medical issue, so there are probably some terrific online support groups out there. I cannot recommend it enough. Even with HA, it let's you be proactive, let's you learn how best to help your father, and while your mileage may vary, the online support really helped me realize many have walked where you are, and many of those people have happy endings to show for it.

As an aside, I have known more than a few men with prostate cancer, but none of them passed from it.

[Shadowhawk]

I really appreciate the support guys; every little bit helps not to feel alone.

Right now, i am doing everything i can to maintain normality; i have a major test tomorrow, so i am trying to keep focused and keep my head in the books. So far doing ok, but not perfect. My back and stomach (more like lower abdomen) are killing me, which is annoying in itself. Ironically, i should be happy about it, since pain in response to anxiety tends to point away from something more sinister as the cause... but there is the anxiety still lingering.

Beyond that is concern for my whole family. Beyond my dad, i really worry about the stress on my mom (who has been dealing with her own set of issues), and the further implications of everything that can happen. Obvioulsy not jumping the gun, but i tend to be the kind of guy who plans for everything he can, so no scenario isn't being thought of at this point... Still not sure how to talk to my daughter about it, but i guess that can wait since we don't know the scope of things yet.

Anyway, back to the grind for now; but i didnt want people to think their kindness was falling on dead ears. It is heard and greatly appreciated. I hope one of these days we can all catch a break and just have soom good days.. maybe tomorrow...

[Mark1974]

Sorry to read this I am having the same issue (albeit to a lesser degree I think)

I posted on here in the middle of last week I am going through a similar thing with my Dad at the moment (last Wednesday he found out he might have 12-18 months to live with lung cancer). It is crap as you will no doubt know already, but it does not mean you will suffer the same fate. Oddly, my health anxiety has disappeared (for the moment at least) despite this news when I did think it would be the exact opposite. It isn't hereditary in this instance so that worry is off the table for me. He had his first chemotherapy session yesterday and I went round to see him today and he is in very good spirits considering the circumstances. We have found 'gallows humour' is helping us cope with it (we've taken the mickey out of each other for as long as I can remember, and this seems to work for us at the moment at least)

[WiredIncorrectly]

@shadowhawk and @Mark1974

I've experienced this. Still dealing with it to be honest. It's brutal what the mind has to go through and I'm sorry you are experiencing this. We're all your friends here. Don't blame yourself for how you feel at the moment.

If you want somebody to chat to on the telephone please PM me and I will send my number. I've experienced this (twice infact) and sometimes we just need somebody to vent and talk to. Somebody impartial. If you ever feel the need the offer is always there <3 I'm on Telegram too.

[Shadowhawk]

Thanks for the support guys.

Happy to say i kept my head square this weekend and passed my test, so at least that is out of the way. Sadly, it just also opens the door (now that i have downtime) to let the HA back in, among everything else. I haven't heard anything more from my dad, but i know he has more tests to go before we know anything. And of course, the proper treatment still has to be figured out. So, its a (fast) waiting game now.

I have still been dealing with the back and belly pain, which ironically did go down after my test, but ramped up something fierce today. I am going to have a blood draw after work for my PSA, and am fighting the mental panic of "already knowing the results". IN my mind, given my father, i know my pain and issues MUST also be cancer, and that it is a very bad thing due to my age (35). I know the things i have felt and experienced may not even be related, or caused by other issues... but since they CAN be cancer, they MUST be cancer..

sigh...

[Shadowhawk]

Whew... major relief here. Got my PSA number back, and it came back....


0.5!

So, its great that its a nice low number, and now i have a solid baseline for future reference to know if any problems are brewing.