I'm finally having an MRI next week

[Scass]

You guys are right, however I noticed that I don't really come back to the illnesses that I excluded by testing. So even if I find something else after the MRI comes clean, I'll test that out, and eventually, I'll run out of things to worry about. Hopefully.

I understand (sort of) why you’ve done this. But what about next time? With your next fear, will you become a regular at the private clinic spending all your salary getting things scanned?
When is enough enough? When do you treat the anxiety- because you are posting on an anxiety forum so you must have an inkling.

Also, it’s shocking how people will take money for anything.

[Mostu]

Do you struggle with ambivalence in your general life? Do you need absolutes and proof positives in other areas? If so, this tendency to avoid confronting ambivalence is controlling how you deal (or not deal) with less-than-absolute-proof positive certainties in matters of your health. You’re only 23; you will encounter many things in life that don’t have answers, particularly with regard to your health. As everyone else here has suggested, stare down the dragon, cancel the unnecessary scan, and go live your life.

Yes. I'm a realist, and whenever there's no solid proof, then I struggle to find something true. Because of that I'm not religious for example. I clearly understand your approach here, but I don't really understand how cancelling the scan is going to help me. Like, there are no downsides to it. To be honest, I'm at a point where I don't even fear cancers other than pancreatic, because the other cancers at least give you some time and a chance to fight them. I truly believe that excluding pancreatic cancer with the MRI will be a milestone in my health anxiety. I'll be sure to update the thread when I get the results.

[BlueIris]

For a start, cancelling the scan will free up funds to have fun with.

Yes, you are sick, but the sickness you're suffering from is anxiety, and until you can convince yourself to accept this, unfortunately, you're in for a very rough ride.

[Fishmanpa]

I don't really understand how cancelling the scan is going to help me.

Since, based on your post history and statistics, you don't have anything wrong with you physically, cancelling the scan will save you six days salary and afford you monies to spend on treating the illness you do have. This site is not called "No More Pancreatic Cancer" after all

Hello "Told Ya So Gang?" I need to schedule an appointment..... Yes... The name is Mostu.... Ok... cool... See you then!

Positive thoughts

[Beachlady]

Yes. I'm a realist, and whenever there's no solid proof, then I struggle to find something true. Because of that I'm not religious for example. I clearly understand your approach here, but I don't really understand how cancelling the scan is going to help me. Like, there are no downsides to it. To be honest, I'm at a point where I don't even fear cancers other than pancreatic, because the other cancers at least give you some time and a chance to fight them. I truly believe that excluding pancreatic cancer with the MRI will be a milestone in my health anxiety. I'll be sure to update the thread when I get the results.

Good grief. NO downsides??? Let’s list them.

1. It’s a waste of money, and money better spent on HA treatment.

2. You are feeding your HA.

3. Your rationale for testing is based on the notion that if you get an “all clear” you can conveniently tick pancreatic cancer off your fear list and that you’re good to go. Guess what, my friend. You’re only 23. Most cancers you’re afraid occur in OLDER people. Are you prepared to start this all over again when you’re 40, or 50?

This will NEVER stop for you unless you stare down the dragon now.

[LouiseAndy]

I'm 22, I've struggled alot with health anxiety also. I've also had some (bad but not my worst fears issues.) I remeneber I kept telling myself if I go to the doctor one more time and she tells me it's okay. I'll be okay, then a few weeks later it would go around and around in my head. Never ending, it was always like the promise of something that was never going to be.

You've got to work out a game plan, what are you going to do next? After this scan, how are you going to take of yourself without a doctor or needing another scan? What's your supportive plan going to be for yourself? I've been in therapy two years in October (I started going for a different reason not HA). I've had alot of ups and downs, I still have moments of worry but I'm doing better. I went four months without seeing my doctor and only having to go back for a female opp that was two years in the making. I think it was the proudest I was of myself. That I manged four months away when the longest I probs went before was four to six weeks at most.

I'm not trying to put you down or anything! I've been in your shoes, I've had so many of the same fears and thoughts. I still do sometimes, I could have written bits of that myself. I just want to say I guess I can get with you in terns of age and feelings! I know I can hardly talk myself because sometimes I totally freak down (having that alot recently). So its rich in certain ways

I'm sending you lots of positive thoughts xx

[Beachlady]

Yes. I'm a realist, and whenever there's no solid proof, then I struggle to find something true. .

That’s not being a realist. Being a realist is accepting grey areas and the inevitability of ambivalence.

[AMomentofClarity]

I have to agree with what people are saying about “checking the box” on PC not meaning anything, because another illness will take its place, I know from experience....for me first it was liver disease...I just need a clear blood test and I’ll feel better. But I didn’t, so I got a clear CT scan. Now I told myself, I can move on. Within days it was lymphoma/leukemia I was afraid of. I told myself I just need a blood test then I’m done with HA. But it didn’t help...I decided I needed a chest CT too, which I got in an ER. Of course I moved on to this disease and that that disease after. I went to a dentist, an ENT, and multiple visits with my PCP.

Finally I scheduled therapy, in conjunction with going to my doctor and getting medication. It really didn’t take much, maybe 4 therapy sessions to learn to adjust my thinking and change my patterns. That was years ago and I haven’t looked back. In hindsight I could have saved thousands of dollars and months of despair had I gone the mental health route initially.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Good grief. NO downsides??? Let’s list them.

1. It’s a waste of money, and money better spent on HA treatment.

2. You are feeding your HA.

3. Your rationale for testing is based on the notion that if you get an “all clear” you can conveniently tick pancreatic cancer off your fear list and that you’re good to go. Guess what, my friend. You’re only 23. Most cancers you’re afraid occur in OLDER people. Are you prepared to start this all over again when you’re 40, or 50?

This will NEVER stop for you unless you stare down the dragon now.

That’s not being a realist. Being a realist is accepting grey areas and the inevitability of ambivalence.

To be honest I think what you say about struggling to find something is true without proof is naïve in terms of mental health because these disorders thrive on an inability to already see you have no real proof.

I agree with Beachlady on this. The issue is what is underneath, the anxiety. That will just find another target even if you are one of those people who can accept test results without doubting them and falling into another rabbit hole.

And remember, not having pancreatic cancer this week doesn't mean you won't have it this time next year. What then? More tests?

What are you actually doing to tackle the real problem?

[Mostu]

I get what you're all saying, and it's hard for me to put my reasoning in appropriate wording, however I came up with an analogy. Imagine that you want to boil a potato. To boil the potato, you have to peel it first. The same goes for me in terms of curing my HA. The skin of the potato is an analogy for my diseases. I need to make sure I don't have them, get rid of them, before I can proceed to treat the root problem. It's the same in medicine, if someone has pancreatic cancer and gets jaundiced, they put in the stents first, and then they do the surgery. Metastases are treated before chemotherapy is introduced, and so on. I just can't find the strength to battle my anxiety while those fears linger in my head. Sorry for ranting like this and being annoying, but I am not myself since a couple of days. I'm counting the days before I get the scan.