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Thread: Clueless

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
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    82

    Clueless

    So I was sitting by myself during tea break at work. I saw a nice-looking female staff member on one of the other tables. She looked towards me many times and sometimes maintained eye contact, so did I. Then her break was over, she stood up and started to leave. My break time was over as well. As I stood up she looked towards me. I looked away and walked back to work.

    What would a “normal” person do in such a situation?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2018
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    7,747

    Re: Clueless

    No such thing as normal, but if you want to know her better, smiling and/or saying hello would be a good start.

  3. #3
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    Nov 2009
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    Re: Clueless

    Ah, such encounters are 'normal', sounds like you both were a bit shy thats all. Next time you see her on her break, or even passing in the workplace, just say 'Hi again'. Smile and say Hi. Or if you are opposite each other at the table, ask something that is 'small talk' like 'cold in here isn't it?', 'we are on the same break again....' or something weather related, or something to do with your environment, something obvious around you.....'Hiyer, that door is really squeaky isn't it lol'. Or even offer her a seat if you are there first......anything to break the ice. AS Blue I said, 'no such thing as normal' everyone is different and all relationships follow different paths.

    She looked towards me many times and sometimes maintained eye contact, so did I.
    Oooooo that sounds really romantic, kind of promising......eeeekkkkk...

  4. #4
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    Feb 2011
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    Re: Clueless

    I feel if I walked towards her and said something, I’d scare her and she’ll rush away. Happened in past 😳.

  5. #5
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    Nov 2018
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    Re: Clueless

    So, just wave or call a hello and let her approach you.

  6. #6
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    Nov 2009
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    Re: Clueless

    Yeah, ok - get it, then don't be full-on, just smile and say Hi as you go in the room, or as she comes in the room(or a wave as BI says).....you don't need to walk towards her or 'make a move' or start launching into deep philosophy lol. Then carry on with your lunch if she just says 'HI' back and nothing more. Then maybe next time it could more than Hi. Maybe she will then come forward with a word or sentence herself and you can do some small talk? I don't think you need to take it all on yourself to innitate everything in every encounter, just give her the opportunity and see if she takes it.Its two colleagues on a tea-break, a few polite words and a bit of chat that builds over time shouldn't be scary to her.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
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    82

    Re: Clueless

    Thank you both. It would be more doable for me to smile and say hi. Although I do get a bit nervous when I smile at someone: I think I’m making them feel awkward and I quickly look away after smiling without thinking. I guess I’ll have to challenge my negative thoughts as well.

  8. #8
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    Nov 2009
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    Re: Clueless

    She looked towards me many times and sometimes maintained eye contact, so did I.
    So, when this happened, above.....what did her face do and your face do ? I mean clearly you are reading her 'signals' as interested in making contact with you, but did you smile then, or did she smile?

    A quick smile is fine (by the way, smiling doesn't make people feel awkward, its the BIGGEST social interaction ice breaker and pleasantry you can use, it makes people happy etc etc)

  9. #9
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    Feb 2011
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    Re: Clueless

    I feel slightly nervous and looked away.

  10. #10
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    Re: Clueless

    ok, so you didn't smile, did she ?

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