How to face anxiety when facing it is a permanent change?

[mcray1981]

Hey,

So my anxiety is directly related to changing jobs. I get obsessional worries, racing pulse etc even when I just send in an application form!! It has caused me to withdraw from numerous job interviews. I've been doing exposure therapy for other anxieties and found it quite effective but how do you do exposure therapy for something that is permanent change?

My head is currently on the what ifs cycle. What if it doesnt work out - I can't get my old job back the way it was. So the change is permanent - what if I make a mistake?

This all stems from a previous work situation where I changed job and the new job wasn't in any way what I was expecting. I also put pressure on myself to be perfect - and in a new job I know that can't be the case but yet I can't get my feelings and anxieties to be at a rational level!

Frustrating.

[BlueIris]

I'd love to give you some advice, but I've been in the same low-paid job for nearly ten years. It's intellectually stimulating, which helps, but when I see similar positions paying 30% more I do kind of kick myself a bit. I absolutely cannot handle job interviews, but even applications leave me feeling shaky and uncomfortable.

Are you looking to change jobs at the moment?

[ankietyjoe]

The change isn't the issue. It's how you're thinking about it now that's the issue.

I recently moved house, not the same as moving jobs, but a massive mental upheaval nevertheless. The first couple of weeks I was here I despised it (even though it's better than my previous home in almost every way) because my comfort zone had been challenged. It soon becomes the new normal though.

In some respects you just have to not think about it, and when the thoughts come in, just try and think about something else, or do something else. Meditation can help here as it trains your brain not to over react and dwell on thoughts.

Also, nothing is ever permanent. Shrug it off and embrace the change, it might be the best thing you ever did just as much as the worst.

[mcray1981]

Hey,

Yeah I haven't been happy for a while in current job for various reasons - lack of training, career stagnating and just the fact I've been here 10 years. That coupled with similar jobs being advertised with much higher salary. My current job does have its good points - its relatively handy, I have car-parking, good holidays, know what I'm doing and I dont have to think about it when I finish for the day.

I put my CV into a company yesterday and have been feeling awful since with worry. What if I have to work longer hours, what if the commute is worse, how will I cope with 5 days less holiday vs what if I am in current job forever, what if pressure here gets worse. I know I'm holding myself back as I am good at my job and could have a much better paid / more fulfilling and interesting job but am just worrying myself sick that the work/life balance wont be as good and that I won't be able to cope with it!

Can't have your cake and eat it comes to mind. But also how much worse can work/life balance or pressure be? Its just fear/phobia of the unknown.

As you say it could be the best thing I do or could be the worst.

I hate the anxious feelings though - the tiredness, lack of sleep, whirring thoughts that get you no closer to a decision, misleading thoughts driven by your feelings, feeling cold when the room is warm and just generally having that feeling of dread hanging over you.