Feel detached - Nowhere to turn - Tonsil problems

[RyanM1994]

Hi all,

TO SKIP THE BACKGROUND GO TO 'CONTINUE HERE', however I appreciate if you took the time to read it all.

Apologies, this is going to be a very long post.

I'm a bit stuck at the moment, feeling down, depressed and anxious 24/7.
Every time I seem to get over 1 genuine or potential health problem, another one comes along.

It all started back in July last year when I visited my dentist, expecting to need a small amount of work, but nope I needed 6 fillings on top of the large amounts of work that was already done on my teeth. I had this done, went through major feelings of hopelessness because my mouth didn't feel like mine anymore.
After each set of fillings (had them done over 3 appointments), I experienced a LOT of pain, that continues even now if I don't use sensitive toothpaste, but the dentist said he can't find anything wrong and that my Wisdom tooth is also coming through in the area.

Fast forward to December last year when I had my final few fillings for that round of work.
I remember the first injection going on, it didn't work, it burned my cheek and my eye and I explained this to my dentist and he tried a different area which worked.
After leaving the dental practice, I noticed my throat felt like something was stuck in it (on the right side, near my tonsil), but didn't think much of it.

1-2 weeks later, I experienced a severe sore throat and moderate tonsil swelling which I left for a few days before seeing a doctor.
I was petrified that I had contracted Strep throat, ofcourse Dr Google played a role in this and I was convinced I was going to end up dying of complications, no matter how rare they were.
By the time I saw a doctor (which happened to be a locum doctor because both of the salaried GP's were on holiday) the sore throat and swelling had gone down considerably, and the doctor explained that he couldn't see anything wrong.

The sore throat continued, despite the lack of visual signs (swelling, redness etc), but it took the form of a BURNING. The burning continued, and continued and seemed to go on forever. At the end of January, the burning eventually died down after switching away from Sensodyne toothpaste (lots of reviews said this toothpaste caused burning in them).

During the time between January and now, I have had multiple issues including a severe virus that made me very unwell and being tested for Knee arthritis (which came back clear, but I haven't even had time to celebrate this small victory).

CONTINUE HERE

On the 28th of April, I woke up to a feeling like there was a lump in my throat, on the right side. I didn't think much of it at all, and just carried on. It was coming up to the end of my week off from work and I was chilled.
That evening, I looked in the mirror at my throat, there was almost like a white coating (patchy) all over both of my tonsils! Ah, tonsillitis again!
I attended a training course for work and left it for 4 days before going back to my permanent doctor. He said it looks like a nasty infection, probably bacterial and gave me antibiotics to take, but ONLY if it got any worse than it was (MY WORST NIGHTMARE).

Luckily, with the help of salt water rinses and mouthwash the white pus disappeared over the next week, but another problem arose.. that annoying BURNING feeling, accompanied by occasional feelings of a lump in my throat (above and behind both tonsils) which still exists today. Some days it's worse than others. I have stopped using the mouthwash and switched toothpaste again to see if it just fades away into the darkness.

On Monday, I was looking in the mirror at my throat, something I seem to do often now, and I suddenly realised (although I know for a fact it has been this was for a while, at least since last December), that my right tonsil is bigger and a slightly different shape to my left.

Again, with the help of Google I went searching and the only thing that ever comes up for this is... you guessed it... CANCER. The search results are bombarded with asymmetrical tonsil posts, posts on Cancer Research UK, posts on lots of other websites about this. Even posts saying that there is an increase in Tonsil cancer in younger patients (further reading shows that 'Younger patients' means under 55).

I also read lots of posts of people saying their doctor said it was normal and fine, then they later got diagnosed with Tonsil cancer after fighting for a long time. One person was as young as 21 years old.
There were posts saying that ENT departments recommend to have them out if there are any abnormalities like this, as that's the only way they test for cancer.

My anxiety went through the roof, I couldn't sleep at all, I honestly cried for most of the night (a 24 year old man, crying over the internet). Spent most of the night thinking about all the things I'm going to miss out on. I just couldn't control it!

I went to my doctor first thing in the morning. He had a look in my throat, explained that lots of things can cause the burning sensation, including acid reflux and alcohol from some mouthwashes. Looked at my tonsil and AGREED that it is slightly bigger on the right side, but said that overall it LOOKS NORMAL, but still inflamed from the infection.

He asked me what I wanted him to do to calm my anxiety, did I want him to refer me to the ENT and asked if his reassurance is enough. Either way he sent me for a blood test to check for Tumor markers and infection (luckily there was 1 cancellation straight after my appointment so I got it done straight away)

Since then I have read a lot of studies on incidence rates based on ages, which I had to dig for (could only find studies for the US and I have no idea if they're reliable), which has eased my mind a little bit.

I'm not too sure what I want people to say honestly, my anxiety techniques are failing, CBT has ended, I have a million feelings all going on at once and I have no idea what to do.

Thanks for reading if you got this far

[BlueIris]

Try not to panic - your GP has told you everything's okay. I've had asymmetrical tonsils all my life (probably due to recurring tonsillitis as a kid) and it never even occurred to me that they were anything to worry about.

Your CBT has ended, true, but the purpose of it would have been to give you a skillset to cope with the anxiety. I know it's tough, but try to think of what you've learned and apply it to this situation.

[RyanM1994]

Thank you for responding BlueIris, I was under the impression that any asymmetrical tonsil was a worry and potentially the C word.

I guess that's the problem with using Google in general, I wish there was a way to block all Health related sites!

I work in IT and as much as I think technology is incredible, I think the ease of access to information is ridiculous and probably the number 1 factor for Health Anxiety!

[BlueIris]

I work in something tech-adjacent, and it can be really hard to stay off Google when things get quiet and you're worried, can't it?

[RyanM1994]

It's awful, constant access to the internet, and Googling health problems is almost like a habit, like an addiction, until you find something sinister then it becomes real.
I'd hate for someone to find my history, they'd see I have a huge problem! It's just as bad in the evenings with access to a smartphone!

Someone needs to develop an app to block access to health sites across platforms in my opinion.. If only I had the skillset.. hmm..

[BlueIris]

I know this won't help, but for what it's worth... if you treat it as a habit, you can break it. The more you stay off Google, the less unhelpful information you find, the less there is to keep you worrying, and the less you get the obsessive urges to look at health sites.

It's kind of like a virtuous circle.

[RyanM1994]

I never really thought of it like that, since it has always just felt normal.

I'd almost compare it to like an addiction, like a drug addiction. Like I'd be laying there in bed, playing games on my phone and the next minute I'm Googling, my partner asks what I'm up to and I actually lie. Like I'm hiding a secret!
I don't even know why I do it either.

I'll definitely give that a try! Many thanks for your help

[BlueIris]

It's completely addictive, yes - my (kind, reasonable) husband always used to go ballistic if he caught me doing it!

You can break free, though, it's just the first few days of cold turkey that are tough

[goldfish2410]

Hey- this is my first post on the site but I came across your post here after excessively googling oral cancer symptoms all morning.

1. Yes google is satan. I managed to avoid it for 2 years and I only got health advice from my doctor, and boy was I in a better place. Even though we KNOW that it is a massive trigger for furthering anxiety, we still do it. Its definitely under the OCD umbrella that health anxiety falls under, reassurance seeking, just adds fuel to that fire.

2. Tonsils! They are annoying. I experience tonsilitis and tonsil stones regularly, and I prod and poke them all the time. They're weird, but EVERYONE has weird tonsils. My boyfriends are non existent, my mums make it so you cant see the back of her throat, my niece's are just like mine, asymmetrical! I have and always had one bigger than the other. Sometimes they hurt, or feel weird. Like all parts of your body does. It's just that our minds process feeling and sensation differently when we have body related anxieties. When you focus on one part of the body, you just feel it more. Think about a different part of your body (maybe one that you're not worried about, like your toe, or nose) you will start to notice sensation, it could be uncomfortable or even painful, but you will understand why fixating is the worst!

One more thing, mouths are DIRTY, I'm 27, quit smoking fairly recently, and have been having various mouth issues that come and go(mostly sores, gums swelling, sore tonsils) over the past few weeks. Some days I can breathe and remind myself that the odds are still in my favour, I'm young, healthy and it's more likely than not I have some kind of oral infection- food, temperatures, even weather can contribute to. Other days I spiral, go on google and weep over the fact I've got progressive mouth cancer (in my imagination).

Look into all of the other things that could be contributing to the issues along side the reassurance from your doctor.
Maybe like me, you are affected by various environmental irritants. I have a real problem with staying in dusty houses and always wake up with a sticky throat when its dry in the winter.

Anyway- best

[Midnight-mouse]

Both my partner and I have tonsils of different sizes, I really don’t think it’s a sign of anything.

Positive vibes,

Mouse


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