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Thread: Concerned for 18 yr old son

  1. #11
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    Re: Concerned for 18 yr old son

    Quote Originally Posted by BrokenGirl View Post
    The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that he will get really embarrassed. He won't even want to get into the car with me after it. I don't want to damage him mentally over this.
    I reckon it has to be one of 3 things: sweat, urine or anal discharge.
    I don't think it would be sweat. When I saw it last night he was getting into the car after a guitar lesson, hardly a reason to cause him to sweat.
    Could it be urine? Possibly. But if he is having some problems there he doesn't want me to know, otherwise he would have told me by now.
    And anal discharge, I have no idea if this is how it would present itself. Could it be so bad that it would soak through underwear and pants? I've no idea about this one but I'm worried about it.
    I don't know what the best thing to do is.
    What's best for me and for him?
    You didn't really answer my questions or acknowledge what I said. You appear to be talking to yourself, BrokenGirl. So not sure why you're asking for advice. Do what you feel is best then
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    Re: Concerned for 18 yr old son

    Quote Originally Posted by KK77 View Post
    You didn't really answer my questions or acknowledge what I said. You appear to be talking to yourself, BrokenGirl. So not sure why you're asking for advice. Do what you feel is best then
    KK - I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to offend you or want you to think that I wasn't listening to your advice. When I was on the forum earlier I was at work so I was going in and out of it quickly all the time. Sometimes I'll have to go into a post 5 or 6 times before I get it all read. So then when I reply I forget half of what was said.
    I've seen you give advice on here and I have so much respect for the advice you give - it's honest, upfront and you tell it as it is. So please accept my apologies for not replying to you and answering your questions.


    But I will answer them now. You asked if he could be sweating down there and leaving a dampish patch on the seat? The answer to that is I don't know. How easily can men sweat down there? And would you need to be doing some sort of exercise or activity to sweat a lot down there? I would love if the answer was as simple as that - maybe it is but because I'm not a man then I don't fully understand how things work down there.
    The seats are not leather in the car, they are normal car seat material.
    He has been to the GP on his own once or twice. I drove him there and waited in the waiting room while he went in to see the doctor.


    I know you're advising me to say it to him, but I'm really struggling with that. I have a daughter who is nearly 12 and if this happened to her I'd have no problem saying it to her. She has a completely different personality. But it's not as easy say it to my son. Once I say it I can't unsay it. And I know he'll get awfully embarrassed, walk away from me and be afraid to face me again.


    I suppose that's why I posted here as well. If some people had said that it's a common(ish) thing to happen to boys/men and it's usually harmless, then I might be able to relax and leave it for a while and see how things go. That's what I was hoping for but it doesn't seem to be that way!

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    Re: Concerned for 18 yr old son

    Quote Originally Posted by Fishmanpa View Post
    Guys do sweat down there but to wet a car seat? Besides, logically, don't you think you would notice as his pants would be wet and he'd have to change right?
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    Re: Concerned for 18 yr old son

    Was he wearing thinner shorts or jeans/trousers?

    Has it been hot where you live recently? And was it hot inside the car? It's probably just sweat, anything like mucus would be noticed more in the underwear rather than on a car seat unless he's wearing thin shorts with no underwear

    and I doubt he'd be wetting himself multiple times consecutively in your car. It sounds weird but you could maybe... see if there's a smell of urine coming from the patch next time if it happens again? To rule out if it's urine or not

    If the patches are the same size as his, well, bottom, then it'll be sweat

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    Re: Concerned for 18 yr old son

    He was wearing a long tracksuit pants, not jeans. It wasn't cotton - it was that shiny material, think it might be polyester.
    It's not too hot at the moment here and the car wasn't hot either. He had just come out from his guitar lesson, which lasted over an hour, so I don't know if it was hot in there.

    If it was urine, would the smell still be there now (on the car seat)? Or does the smell of urine go away when it dries out?

    The few times I've seen it, it's one patch, nearly exactly in the middle of the seat. Kind of long oval(ish) shape - roughly 3 or 4 inches long I'd say.


    Fishman: You said that guys do sweat down there, but not enough to wet a car seat? So are you saying it's possible it's just sweat, or that it's unlikely to be sweat if I can see it on the seat?
    Sorry if this is a really stupid question, but I just didn't fully understand your point

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    Re: Concerned for 18 yr old son

    Quote Originally Posted by BrokenGirl View Post
    Fishman: You said that guys do sweat down there, but not enough to wet a car seat? So are you saying it's possible it's just sweat, or that it's unlikely to be sweat if I can see it on the seat? Sorry if this is a really stupid question, but I just didn't fully understand your point
    I'm saying, even when I was into heavy workouts, the worst I got down there was some damp undies. You describing a situation where he wouldn't be sweating so... Again, he would have had to pee himself to get the seat actually wet and his clothes would be wet as well. He's not coming home running up and changing is he? And yes, urine would smell after the fact and you would definitely notice it in a car.

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    Re: Concerned for 18 yr old son

    Quote Originally Posted by Fishmanpa View Post
    I'm saying, even when I was into heavy workouts, the worst I got down there was some damp undies. You describing a situation where he wouldn't be sweating so... Again, he would have had to pee himself to get the seat actually wet and his clothes would be wet as well. He's not coming home running up and changing is he? And yes, urine would smell after the fact and you would definitely notice it in a car.

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    So you don't think it's sweat because that generally wouldn't come out through his underwear and pants, especially when he wasn't even exercising, and it doesn't look likely to be urine either because he's not coming home changing his clothes and the car doesn't smell of it. Now I'm running out of ideas as to what it could be. And I know I didn't imagine it. I definitely saw a patch on the seat and once he got out of the car it started to fade after a few minutes.

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    Re: Concerned for 18 yr old son

    Quote Originally Posted by BrokenGirl View Post
    So you don't think it's sweat because that generally wouldn't come out through his underwear and pants, especially when he wasn't even exercising, and it doesn't look likely to be urine either because he's not coming home changing his clothes and the car doesn't smell of it. Now I'm running out of ideas as to what it could be. And I know I didn't imagine it. I definitely saw a patch on the seat and once he got out of the car it started to fade after a few minutes.
    Sometimes car seat material can show when someone was sitting on it just from weight distribution and such and frankly, since its obvious he's not urinating nor has obscenely sweaty balls, I would chalk it up to nothing and not concern myself.

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  9. #19
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    Re: Concerned for 18 yr old son

    Quote Originally Posted by BrokenGirl View Post
    So you don't think it's sweat because that generally wouldn't come out through his underwear and pants, especially when he wasn't even exercising, and it doesn't look likely to be urine either because he's not coming home changing his clothes and the car doesn't smell of it. Now I'm running out of ideas as to what it could be. And I know I didn't imagine it. I definitely saw a patch on the seat and once he got out of the car it started to fade after a few minutes.
    I would still go with perspiration/sweat because pee or discharge of that kind would smell strongly. It could also be that his bum was a bit wet from sitting or leaning against a wall, car, bench etc.

    I would personally ask him but I accept and respect that we're all different in our approaches. I guess you just have to hope that he'd mention it to you if it concerned him - and that's obviously not the case right now.
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    Re: Concerned for 18 yr old son

    Quote Originally Posted by BrokenGirl View Post
    He was wearing a long tracksuit pants, not jeans. It wasn't cotton - it was that shiny material, think it might be polyester.
    It's not too hot at the moment here and the car wasn't hot either. He had just come out from his guitar lesson, which lasted over an hour, so I don't know if it was hot in there.

    If it was urine, would the smell still be there now (on the car seat)? Or does the smell of urine go away when it dries out?

    The few times I've seen it, it's one patch, nearly exactly in the middle of the seat. Kind of long oval(ish) shape - roughly 3 or 4 inches long I'd say.


    Fishman: You said that guys do sweat down there, but not enough to wet a car seat? So are you saying it's possible it's just sweat, or that it's unlikely to be sweat if I can see it on the seat?
    Sorry if this is a really stupid question, but I just didn't fully understand your point
    If it’s an oval shape then that’s gonna be from... you know, his... butt crack sort of area.

    Also I think I know what sort of tracksuit you’re talking about, are they black and either Adidas or Nike? They’re pretty thin I think, so yeah it could’ve just been sweat.

    Please, just ask him about it, you’re his mother and you’re concerned (though really what’s the worst it can be?). He’s the only one who knows for sure what it is, rather than us speculating

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