I worry that there's something really wrong with me, more than the anxiety/feelings of depression I have. I worry that I don't connect with people emotionally and that I'm just going through the motions. It's hard because I do love my family and friends and I have been in a relationship in the past, but I get scared I was never truly connected to these people, as I feel I'm quite self absorbed. I'm also worried I'm quite awkward and strange because I don't like making eye contact.

I don't know what to do with these thoughts. I hope that I'm not actually a bad person for feeling this way (other people have said I'm nice, and I'm generous with money and time) - maybe my anxiety, which is usually health related anyway, is focusing in on this?

I just want to know I'm not alone. I feel so alone, like a robot. I've felt like this for at least a year, probably more. I'm just looking for like minded people who may feel the same? Is this something medication has helped with? I've had CBT but my doctors won't let me have another course atm as they say I should be using the skills I have, but that was health anxiety focused.

Apologies for the vent.