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Thread: Next stage of my life after marriage

  1. #51
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    Re: Next stage of my life after marriage

    There is no "next stage" after marriage or anything else - there is only living life rather than life living in your head. This is what you have to understand and accept or life will pass you by and you will always feel unfulfilled no matter what you do.
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  2. #52
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    Re: Next stage of my life after marriage

    I have become very organised maybe with my ocd I plan stuff out. Fact is life is like a sand timer it runs out eventually.

    I mean it was never in my original plan to travel. I would have had a family by now perhaps I would be driving. I would also have a higher up job like a manager.

    Am I happy yes I am doing quite well but it’s a greed I want more and more. Once I get one thing I want the next. I mean I would hate to win the lottery and not appetite money I enjoy managing on a small budget.

    Course I see other people with a family settled I mean am I jealous? No I just wish I could stay forever young and keep on enjoying and having a bash. I mean I could do that but I don’t aspire to be a parent or grand parent it leaves me numb. Old age isn’t much fun either. Perhaps some people have seen Scottish comedy still game? If I was still having that good a time when I am older then great?

    There is a social pressure to drive and have a family it’s hard not to bow to it. I have a friend I use to look upto she had a nice flat before I moved out I wanted my life like hers but she has a family now doesn’t go very far goes local holidays and I think no I would rather follow a different path. For me the idea of having a family seemed great when I was 18 but being 30 now knowing I am enjoying life doing what I do holidaying going to concerts it really doesn’t appeal to me. Maybe that’s not great I mean nobody shouts about how they are happy they chose not to have a family but some people don’t and they don’t seem to really mind?

  3. #53
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    Re: Next stage of my life after marriage

    If you can't handle bodily fluids, how could you cope with parenthood?

    It's a serious question; I'll freely admit I don't want kids because the stickiness of them gives me the horrors.

  4. #54
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    Re: Next stage of my life after marriage

    Quote Originally Posted by BlueIris View Post
    If you can't handle bodily fluids, how could you cope with parenthood?

    It's a serious question; I'll freely admit I don't want kids because the stickiness of them gives me the horrors.
    Well that’s true I am not sure really.

    Was it a hard choice not to have any? Will you change your mind?

  5. #55
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    Re: Next stage of my life after marriage

    Not a hard choice in the least, no - I don't enjoy being around babies and toddlers, plus I don't think it'd be fair to the kid or myself, not when they're such a source of anxiety even to people who don't already have mental health issues.

    I went through a brief period of extreme broodiness when I was about your age, and it confused and frightened me.

    I'm 42 now, and no regrets whatsoever. I've got a couple of cats who keep me on my toes, and my husband and I are looking into adopting a dog eventually. That's enough for us.

  6. #56
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    Re: Next stage of my life after marriage

    .....Phil..... surely you and your wife already have some understanding about both of your views on having children?

    I recall in the past that you planned to have them, but had decided that 'they would go away with your wife somewhere else until they were older', or something along those lines.

  7. #57
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    Re: Next stage of my life after marriage

    I'm pretty sure Phil believes that only his opinion counts as nobody else exists outside his direct consciousness.

    Might be hard practising "parenting" with that mindset? Would give "Supernanny" a run for her money though if that programme still exists?

  8. #58
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    Re: Next stage of my life after marriage

    Brother... based on your OCD about toilet germs and replacing bins and such, you wouldn't be able to afford children based on the mess they make!

    When my son was a baby, he hated wearing his diaper. There was a few instances where we woke up to find he had taken off his diaper and painted the walls brown if you know what I mean If you really want to start a family, you're going to have to take on the advice so many here and on other forums have told you.

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  9. #59
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    Re: Next stage of my life after marriage

    Brother... based on your OCD about toilet germs and replacing bins and such, you wouldn't be able to afford children based on the mess they make!
    So true! They draw on walls, break things, spread 'germs' far and wide, touch everything they aren't meant to, wee and poo in odd places sometimes....or was that just mine? or am I thinking of the dogs ?

  10. #60
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    Re: Next stage of my life after marriage

    Quote Originally Posted by BlueIris View Post
    If you can't handle bodily fluids, how could you cope with parenthood?

    It's a serious question; I'll freely admit I don't want kids because the stickiness of them gives me the horrors.
    One of the many reasons I’m not having kids too! Mr Midnight had a vasectomy at the beginning of the year to ensure this is not something that can happen.

    Phil, There are plenty of childfree (by choice) communities where not having children is celebrated, I’m 25 and no I will not change my mind. I also can’t drive, it’s okay to have and enjoy lives that are different to others. For the most part I absolutely adore my life, and am working hard on improving my illnesses so I can enjoy it all much more.


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