Next stage of my life after marriage

[pulisa]

Say what you want but lots of people see it as something to cross off even posts above. Life is what you make of it some people marry for the sake of it, marry too young or cheat. My sister often questions why I am marrying but it’s a personal choice we all have our reasons.

So can I ask why you have chosen to get married, Phil? Especially in view of your OCD struggles and anxiety. Do you feel under pressure to get married?

[pulisa]

Also, would your wife's opinion be important to you in your decision-making?

[KK77]

So can I ask why you have chosen to get married, Phil? Especially in view of your OCD struggles and anxiety. Do you feel under pressure to get married?

That is my point - people getting married for "wrong" reasons. Ditto having kids. Suddenly, one finds life is far more complicated.

Of course nothing is guaranteed in life - but as long as there is a foundation of love and understanding, problems can be overcome.

[phil06]

We will not go into why I am getting married because it’s happening and I am.

The issue is do I do big goals like drive and have a family or do I content myself and go on holiday continue to see the world best I can and stay in my job? For example when I was younger I would go through 5/6 jobs a year constantly walking out of jobs I had relationships that never worked I was 5 years single and always miserable and I couldn’t hold down a friendship. Fast forward ten years I have had same friends for ten years been in my job almost 8 years and a relationship for 7 years so my point is having some consistency and stability is better for me than always making major changes?

[nomorepanic]

I don't think you can plan life like that - sometimes it plans things for you. You don't have to have big goals etc etc just go with the flow.

[pulisa]

So you are getting married for some consistency and stability? "7 year itch" and all that? It's best that way for you?

I can imagine that you would find it difficult to "go with the flow" though?

I think your fiancee might appreciate some involvement in a decision to start a family. She may have some thoughts of her own on this?

[KK77]

We will not go into why I am getting married because it’s happening and I am.

The issue is do I do big goals like drive and have a family or do I content myself and go on holiday continue to see the world best I can and stay in my job? For example when I was younger I would go through 5/6 jobs a year constantly walking out of jobs I had relationships that never worked I was 5 years single and always miserable and I couldn’t hold down a friendship. Fast forward ten years I have had same friends for ten years been in my job almost 8 years and a relationship for 7 years so my point is having some consistency and stability is better for me than always making major changes?

No one said there is anything wrong with you getting married, and I have wished you all the best before.

I was questioning your attitude and views which you posted - not necessarily reasons.

[Fishmanpa]

We will not go into why I am getting married because it’s happening and I am.

So I ask again, why even ask opinions of internet strangers? You're going to do what you want to do and think what you want to think (which has been your MO for over 13 years) regardless of what anyone says

Positive thoughts

[MyNameIsTerry]

The issue is do I do big goals like drive and have a family or do I content myself and go on holiday continue to see the world best I can and stay in my job?

I think your fiancee might appreciate some involvement in a decision to start a family. She may have some thoughts of her own on this?

That's for you and your wife to discuss as pulisa is saying.

[phil06]

Well that’s the stag doo over, wedding and honeymoon so pressure is on. My dream is to go to New York but right now I have a fear of flying especially long haul flights I hope I can live the dream and make it to NYC.