Next stage of my life after marriage

[Dying_Swan]

Congratulations on your marriage Phil, and good luck with your dream of going to NY x

[Carys]

So in another month I tick marriage off the box

So, hold on, is that it - Stag do, wedding and honeymoon 'over'. Is that literally all you have to say, after the years of us talking about it here with you ? Another thing ticked on your list of life 'boxes' and now moving on......

[pulisa]

I doubt whether Phil sees anything unusual in his need to tick these necessary life "boxes" but it is a very clinical way of looking at things.

I guess New York is next on the agenda? What do you want to do in New York once you're there, Phil? Any plans or is it just another destination to be ticked off as "done"? What does your wife think about going to New York?

[BlueIris]

Harsh, I know, but so far we've seen no evidence that Phil has any interest whatsoever in what his wife thinks.

[phil06]

I doubt whether Phil sees anything unusual in his need to tick these necessary life "boxes" but it is a very clinical way of looking at things.

I guess New York is next on the agenda? What do you want to do in New York once you're there, Phil? Any plans or is it just another destination to be ticked off as "done"? What does your wife think about going to New York?

She is happy to go and she doesn’t share my fear of flying so she has actually been to America once already years ago.

But yes she likes flying but she’s happy to go by train. Been round most of Europe by rail and only flew to two places.

I need to take a notion to fly somewhere I don’t enjoy it much

[phil06]

But let’s get back on topic what’s realistic? Yes there is a tick off list but do I actually want to do these stuff?

Driving I had over 100 lessons, sat 4 driving tests and failed the last one before I left the test centre at that point I had an anxiety breakdown and gave up. That was a decade ago I don’t have the courage to go back?

Family wise I have dated single mums but having my own is different.

I have dreams of owning a bigger house with a garage, going to NYC and so on but I have no idea how realistic these goals are.

3 years ago I had a breakdown and I was in hospital, I lived in a flat just moved out but I never believed I’d ever get married or own a house and 3 years later I have.

I am a little confused by dreams and realistic goals. I am unsure what I want right now as after I proposed two years ago I decided to go travelling. Now let me be clear growing up I was always a homebody and never ventured far outside Scotland. The fact I am travelling now is something new for me

[phil06]

Harsh, I know, but so far we've seen no evidence that Phil has any interest whatsoever in what his wife thinks.

All I can say is she is laid back and is happy with what I do

[BlueIris]

All I can say is she is laid back and is happy with what I do

Phil, that's great! It's wonderful for us anxious people when we find somebody to tolerate our nonsense. All I can say is to be sure to never take her for granted.

[phil06]

Phil, that's great! It's wonderful for us anxious people when we find somebody to tolerate our nonsense. All I can say is to be sure to never take her for granted.

I agree my ex never and I was single for 5 years but that was when I had bad anxiety and never wanted to leave the house. My issue is ocd right now still bad but not quite so bad

[Scass]

Why don’t you make a 5 year plan? But include your health on the list too maybe?