Scared about my mums bowel symptoms.

[Mav]

So early this year my mum was on antibiotics for about a month for a tooth infection, after she got off of them she began noticing a change in bowel movements. Every so often, she gets a random bout of diarreah. I have asked her to stay consistent with her probitotic supplements many times but shes often busy and forgets and hasn't been very consistent with them, I am sure her gut bacteria has been disrupted and that is why she is getting random bouts of bowel issues, she has no typical bowel cancer type symptoms, no blood, no dark stools, no extreme loss of appetite, no weightloss etc. I know loads of people get bowel issues and its a rather common thing, I am just scared because she is my mum and she is 60. Mum said she will book an appointment with the doctor just to get an all clear for peace of mind. And my old health anxiety monsters are showing up. Mum also has developed a really horrible rash on her legs and arms, I told her to show her doctor this too.

I feel worried that this could be sinister and the outcome might be cancer or something. I have been down this spiral before with mum and everything was fine the last time too, I just feel worried. :(

[Mav]

anyone?

[BlueIris]

This is your mother's business, not yours. Being 60 doesn't mean she's suddenly lost her ability to look after herself.

[Fishmanpa]

We all worry about loved ones but you have every explanation as to why and its not like she's been getting progressively worse nor had red flag symptoms so... I'm sure it has to do with gut flora and diet. Just get the doctor appointment booked and take it from there.

Positive thoughts

[Mav]

This is your mother's business, not yours. Being 60 doesn't mean she's suddenly lost her ability to look after herself.

What do you even mean by this? This is so rude. I love my mum, it terrifies me that something could happen to her which is why I am absolutely scaring myself, I did not once imply she can't look after herself. Ugh.

[Mav]

We all worry about loved ones but you have every explanation as to why and its not like she's been getting progressively worse nor had red flag symptoms so... I'm sure it has to do with gut flora and diet. Just get the doctor appointment booked and take it from there.

Positive thoughts

Thanks fishmanpa, I don't want to spiral so I am going to hold on to my explanation as it seems most likely but i still get scared, I remember all the times I have read articles of people who has little to no symptoms and were diagnosed with bowel cancer. A lot has happened in my life, I have gotten past health anxiety for the most part but a few months ago my dad suffered a stroke, I saw how quickly your life can just change, it was so sudden and scary. I am just scared something could happen to mum just like that. I really don't want to spiral down into a state where I can't get myself out of bed, I really don't want to get hat low. :(

[Fishmanpa]

I really don't want to spiral down into a state where I can't get myself out of bed, I really don't want to get hat low. :(

There's absolutely no reason you should TBH. As you said, it's the dragon breathing fire down your neck. Hope your dad is doing better.

Positive thoughts

[BlueIris]

I'm sorry for offending you, Mav, I'm just aware that obsessing about the health of your loved ones can drive a wedge between you and them - I know this from my own experience with HA.

I'm really sorry about your father, and I hope he's on the road to recovery.

[Toby2000]

I'm the same as you and BlueIris, I worry about my mum a lot, who's now 51

Actually recently I started projecting my own fear of bowel cancer on to her, unintentionally, because I think she's also been having diarrhoea and I think she said she saw a bit of blood a few months ago, but she has a history of piles apparently

Three or four years ago in 2015-2016 I also worried that she had lung cancer due to her smoking habits and a persistent cough along with a lot of phlegm and tiredness.. she's still here in 2019!

[MyNameIsTerry]

Mav, sorry to hear about your dad. Do you think this might be more the reason this is spiking your anxiety? It's understandable as a stroke can be a devastating thing as it's so quick to change life. I hope he fully recovers and has all the help they can give.

You've got your logical hat on here. You have found a root cause - antibiotics. Well known to cause GI disruptions to the point even hospitals give patients yoghurt to help with regular bowel movements. So the logical thing to try is what you are doing, get some healthy bacteria into her. It's her choice and she has to recognise she can feel better doing this or carry on and put up with it until the body sorts itself out as BlueIris was saying about balancing worries with being too involved as too irritate your mum.

The rest is anxiety. The doubts and "what ifs". Imagine if she happened but her loose bowels cleared up quickly. Would you be as worried? Is it because it seems more persistent? But then it's not really is it? It could just as easily be that because of the changes to her guy flora she is having trouble with certain foods that she could eat before.

As far as one minute fine with no symptoms and the next cancer, that could apply to anyone. Yes, it happens but remember that the vast majority it doesn't.

It's worth her asking about the rash though. She's at that age where minor health issues can be very common. That doesn't mean they aren't anything more than a cream or pill can treat, but they may see more of them just because it's part of ageing. And there is always that possibility the immense stress of her husbands stroke has done this.

I suspect you are having a very harsh reminder of mortality, something that is very stressful for anyone but obvious carries additional demons to the HAer.