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[Fishmanpa]

Hi Fishmanpa,

Well when I wasn't online, I was with either my therapist or having to go to group session or intense meeting about my MH everyday. So I wasn't never really alone, I guess I'm using this as a semi lean post as I'm not as surrounded all the time now! Like I don't think I post as much as I used to either. Like I've had alot of worse moments I didn't post onto here, it's just I guess reading back as well I can all my ups and downs. I feel like I'm on a up again now? Maybe I'm speaking to soon.

I also was on medication that time- but for personal reasons I would not rather talk about why I'm not allowed it now when I'm not under supervision!


Sorry if this seemed snappy or rude?? I didn't mean for it to be! I was just trying to explain myself and my situation. Like I've said before, you have helped me in the last and I appreciate your comments and how you come at things!

You're not being rude. I don't think anyone knew exactly why you took a break and what you were doing during it. I'm just affirming that you sounded more positive and rational and yes, you're making progress and I've noted that previously. Recognize that and keep up the battle. Despite the challenges you face with your mental health, you're one that actually tries to do something about it and I personally admire that fortitude.

Positive thoughts

[SarahNah]

You're not being rude. I don't think anyone knew exactly why you took a break and what you were doing during it. I'm just affirming that you sounded more positive and rational and yes, you're making progress and I've noted that previously. Recognize that and keep up the battle. Despite the challenges you face with your mental health, you're one that actually tries to do something about it and I personally admire that fortitude.

Positive thoughts

I guess I always worry about how tone comes across when typing something and not actually saying it! I very much take all of your words and advice on board. Thank you for taking the time to read and reply to my ramble of replies! I do rant on sometimes! I guess with my mental health, I know what terrible it can be when I don't work with it. It's my life and I've got to do the best to live it- even if sometimes it's really shit and I do have down points but healing isn't linear! I'll get back to a good place again there might be more episodes in the future but I will deal with those when they come along!

[SarahNah]

Whatever helps you x

Thank you Scass xxx

[SarahNah]

While I still have issues with racing heart and having difficultly in public- I'm slowly trying to get myself into it again. Today I went back to see my physio for the first time in like seven months- as I want to get back into some the sports I used to take part in. (I had a horrible back accident and it leads to issues but I'm hoping to deal with it more.) I think I'll be stiff for a few days but I'm so glad I went!

I'm also going to a spa day at the end of the week with my cow-workers- a gift from our boss for all the work we did around a event. I didn't know if I'd be able, that I would back out but I'll looking forward to it now !

Also dealing with the racing heart better, I'm not trying to focus on it all the time or try to work out how fast it's going. My gp isn't worried and I shouldn't be either. Hey ho, I've been freaking about it for months and I'm still kicking! So moving along ! I'm even having it tonight- but I'm trying to remind myself of certain factors to lead to this- one it's night time. My anxiety is worse- two it's always worse in winter, three I'm alone and four it's storming outside. So those are all good reasons!

[SarahNah]

Awake from sleep to a quite intense and upsetting nightmare, feeling very heavy limbed and off right now. Feeling like I'm falling through my own body (a phrase I is in therapy and I cant explain well.) I've been awake since 4am ish? Just in a total state, I've manged to come around Abit and I didn't need to take xanna but worried about feeling off the rest of the day now