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Thread: New Chapter

  1. #21
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
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    Re: New Chapter

    Sounds like small setbacks Sarah, but overall you appear to be dealing with things a lot better.

    Keep going girl, it will get easier.
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  2. #22
    Join Date
    Apr 2018
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    636

    Re: New Chapter

    Quote Originally Posted by Elen View Post
    Sounds like small setbacks Sarah, but overall you appear to be dealing with things a lot better.

    Keep going girl, it will get easier.
    Thank you so, so much for the reply. It means so much.

    I'm really trying to get myself out of this mindset. To not let it over-take everything. I went to work today and rather then go home I even went to meet some friends and had a really good time. I got home, was washing my mouth out and noticed the white dot was back and bigger on my tonsil (that tonsil has always been bigger- maybe from alot of infections as a child so it being so big and awful with this white dot while I have a swore throat and other issues isn't great!). Sent me into a worry- but look what can you do! Going to do some deep breathing before bed! Hopefully get some sleep x

  3. #23
    Join Date
    Apr 2018
    Posts
    636

    Re: New Chapter

    So:
    Busy day today- busy weekend ahead!
    My throat is still a worry, still a white mark there, pain etc. I'll wait till Monday until seeing if I should see a doctor no not as I don't have time this weekend.
    No nightmares last night thankfully!

  4. #24
    Join Date
    Apr 2018
    Posts
    636

    Re: New Chapter

    So got through a day of travelling - thoart not being great. Feeling really exhausted and run down but here! Sad in not feeling great and feeling not like my hearts in this.

  5. #25
    Join Date
    Apr 2018
    Posts
    636

    Re: New Chapter

    So ended up going to my health care provider private clinic and he said I have a throat infection?? Didn't really give me details and gave me some tablets so hopefully this all clears up soon and I can get on track again!

    Update:
    I feel a little pushed off by him tbh, he gave me a tablet to take 4 times a day for ten days and like this stuff to mix into water to take five days times times? I'm only a few in and my stomach is feeling bad- I'm going to buy some pro-bio yogurt to try and settle my stomach as this could be a long-haul table taking. My throat even hurts more from taking the stuff- a part of my mind is like what if this is the start of the end (what a drama queen LOL)

    It's coming up to the date of my break down that started all of this. So it's not great- as I was just on tablets for for a skin infection thing.

    I called my boyfriend to explain to him what happened- for the first time I opened up to him about why I'm so scared to be ill (or dying tbh). I've never told him about trying to take my life before. It was a big step, a massive step but I felt like it was the right time to say something? Of course it was a gentle way, not just outright. He was very king and gentle about it, didn't push on questions just like me say what I wanted to say. My chest feels a little lighter to be honest.

    My relationship is a bit hard at the moment, my boyfriend moved back to his own country for a better job. I'm moving to Germany in a few months. It's alot but in a way it feels safer ti open up to him like this.
    Last edited by SarahNah; 08-06-19 at 22:55.

  6. #26
    Join Date
    Apr 2018
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    636

    Re: New Chapter

    Also sorry for anyone if that's alot to read or if I sound horrible/selfish for my thoughts

  7. #27
    Join Date
    Apr 2018
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    636

    Re: New Chapter

    I manged to get through a 13 hour day at work! Which was very stressful and I had to make alot of phone calls to other workers...which made me uncomfortable that my boss suggested I do that on a Sunday :/.Mosst of them were nice enough and understanding that it had to be done!

    My thoart- My Mam checked in a few days ago when I was debating to go to the doctor or not. She had another look today and said it looks better! Even though I'm not feeling great and feel like it's making me feel worse lol. Mentally also, I had a rough night- but hoping it all moves along soonish! My Mam was nice enough to buy me some of the yogurt I was looking for when I was at work as I didn't have the chance to run to the shop before Sunday closing hours. Thankful...no google or feeling around for lumps and reasons to panic tho on my end !

  8. #28
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    4,844

    Re: New Chapter

    Quote Originally Posted by SarahNah View Post
    Also sorry for anyone if that's alot to read or if I sound horrible/selfish for my thoughts
    Not horrible or selfish at all.

    It is nice to see you working through your issues logically.

    I hope that the tablets kick in soon and that you get some relief from your sore throat.
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  9. #29
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
    Posts
    16,747

    Re: New Chapter

    You are working hard-mentally and physically-to get through the days and I appreciate how hard it is for you.

    I do hope that there are better days ahead and I'm sure they will happen. Talk to those close to you who matter when you are struggling to cope? Just getting things off your chest can help when the panic gets overwhelming xx

  10. #30
    Join Date
    Apr 2018
    Posts
    636

    Re: New Chapter

    @Elen & @Pulisa

    Thank you both so much for your reply's, it means so much to me you'd take the time to even read my rambles- which I know goes on alot! Especially when you two have your own issues going on and I hope there's happier times for the both of you ahead

    Thankfully, I think the tablets are helping a little bit. I still have at least five days of tablets to go! My stomach does not like it at all! But I think the yogurt is helping. I've had some shaky moments but I've been away from google. Also about five/six weeks ago I went to my gp office (the nurse takes the bloods so no need to see the gp) to get B12 test done (A issue I have to get down every three months due to other reasons) Thankfully this is the first time ever! I don't need to get B12 shoots for the next three months! Which has never happened in the last three years since I've had to have it tested. She also took a blood count (it's all good!) this time- so my worries have been less since she said my blood count was fine for some reason . I've also been away from google for good and no pressuring looking for any lumps! Big change for me

    I've been struggling alot with...other emotional stuff. I've taken some of your words to Pulisa, I've tried softly to my boyfriend about some things. Since his always been on the outside- nothing to big or enough to overwhelm him. Just little things. I even mention to my Mam how worried I can be about being sick often, that it has to mean something. She gave me a laugh by saying I was still kicking at the moment!

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